Twins - same form at secondary

[Tw1nsMummy]

Hi, despite us asking for our b/g twins to be placed in different forms at secondary school, we’ve just found out that they’ve been put into the same form (large intake, 12 forms!). The forms stay the same throughout years 7-11, though they will started being placed in sets from October half-term

Our twins get on well and have always formed their own friendship groups (at primary they were initially together and the went into separate classes). Whilst in some ways, they’re happy to be together, they feel they’ve already ‘made the break’ and it’s something of a backwards step to be back together. That said, they’re coming from a small primary and don’t know many other children going to their secondary.

Before we talk to the school, I’d be interested to hear if any other twins have been in the same form at secondary school and how well it worked?

thanks so much!

Mine have always been split at primary. But they wanted to be together in Yr 7. Let's see how it goes.

Oh that’s interesting, thank you. And good for them for deciding they want to be together! Can I ask if they’re b/g?

I think in many ways my two are happy to be together (the alternative could be that one or both might be in a class where they don’t know anyone!) - they just have this sense that they should ‘go it alone’ too!

thanks again for replying.

Once sets start happening they'll either meet in them anyways if they're at the same ability and potentially spend more actual time in the same classroom as each other than they may from being in the same form as each other which is probably Just Registration and PSHE

Mine were together at secondary. They usually put children from the same out of catchment primaries in the same form, so they know someone. There were only 3 of them from their primary going, so they were all put in the same form.

They were in different classes for most lessons though, so although they shared some friends they also had other friends each from the classes they weren't in together.

They spend so little time in their form groups, esp once sets are in place. It might just make your life easier for them to have the same tutor!

What would they rather do? Together or split? I’d be guided by them, I think.

Are the forms the same as the teaching groups? Some schools have registration forms A-E and teaching groups 1-5.

A friend's twins were in the same form at secondary. There were only three from their school, but their mother contacted the school to say which one would cope better not knowing anyone in their form, if they wanted to split them. They were quite close, and happy to be together, but sociable enough that they did have other friends.

It's a pity not to give twins a bit more space from each other, so that they're bringing home different experiences, but at least with B/G twins they'll likely be in different friendship groups.

If there's a fair amount of regrouping for different subjects then they may not be together all the time, but setting doesn't always help, if they are similar ability.

I taught a pair of cousins who were put together (the head was adamant that new pupils should be in a form with their friends), and the parents were very disappointed - the girls were quite shy, and as they were both in top sets, it wasn't until year 10 that they actually got pushed into making new friendships.

That's very variable. Some do everything in their form groups except setted subjects and practical subjects if those are in smaller groups. Sets don't necessarily help, as twins often end up in the same set. (If there's a lot of setting and they're similar ability, they need to be in opposite halves of the year, not just different forms, if they are to avoid each other.)

My b/g DTs were together all through primary but different forms in secondary. They were mostly taught in forms but ended up together in sets for French/ Maths/sciences from year 10.

My b/g twins were in different classes in primary (3 form entry school) for reception to year 5 until the school mixed classes to for year 6 - to help prepare for secondary transition. My son was diagnosed ASD in year 4 and struggles with change, the twins had also told me they would have liked to have been in the same class from
reception and would like it for year 6. So I asked the school to put them together and my daughter hated it! Insists she never said she wanted to be with him, and he’s embarrassing!
She’s off to an all girls secondary so won’t have him in the same school anymore, but if they’d been going to the same school I’d have asked for them to be in separate forms and wouldn’t have been happy had the school put them together.

High school teacher here - do you have the contact details for the Head of Year? In my experience, if you raise it again, they will separate them. It may just have been an oversight.

My b/g twins are year 5 so we start looking at schools in September. I feel like I have no opinion on this yet. They've been in the same class since year 1 but have different friends and different abilities anyway so will likely end up in different sets.
They say they want to go to different high schools but I've always said not to worry as high school is so big they won't see each other! I'm now wondering if I'm being naive.

If there is only a few going for their school it might not be fair for one twin to be with nobody they know and they other with people they know if the others from the same school also wanted to be together.

I am G/G twin and this happed at my school we wanted separate forms but only 4 went to same school from our primary and the other 2 wanted to be together so neither me or my sister wanted to move forms alone.

So ask the twins what they want

However, at this point be ready for the scenario where the HoY says that they can move one of them, but they won't be with their friends from primary. They won't want to make lots of moves at this point, but might be able to move one if you're not fussed about which form they go into (because it might have to be the one that has one fewer, or someone else who has asked for a swap).

I've taught loads of twins in my career. It's about 50-50 between same form or different in my experience!

I have b/g twins in secondary.
In primary they were together because it was 1 form entry. They have always had an overlap of friends. I found that they relied on each other (one was like a mini mother, the other more social).
In secondary I requested they were split and for the majority of the time they have been separated, however due to similar academic abilities they have had some lessons together, I think this Is a good mix. Watch out when they have home economics together two sets of ingredients is costly and how do you eat two yule logs that can't be frozen before they go off?! Overall I think the separation has done them good, developed more independent friendships, more independent in school life in general and they are seen as individuals by teachers and children (in fact ds maths teacher only realised in y9 he had a twin) not a pair.

Thanks so much for all the replies. I really appreciate your insights.

The sad thing is that initially they were in separate classes with friends they wanted to be with. The school then tried to cater for last minute / late requests which resulted in both my children being moved to the same class, and in my daughter’s case without any of her friends.

We’ve been told that what the kids want (the classes they were originally assigned / to be with their friends, and in the nicest sense not each other), isn’t possible. And that because it’s such a small intake, there’s no chance of my DD being in a class with anyone she knows.

So we now have the choice (I think) of two less than ideal solutions -

• same class, (DS also with friends).
• separate classes, (DD won’t know anyone in her class, DS with friends).

So frustrating! Thanks again for all the insights, very much appreciated xx

My twin and I were in the same form (both girls) and they asked if we wanted to be sat together or separated. I also went to a school with 12 forms.

If they can be individual and make their own friends then I don't see how it would be any different to any of their other classmates in the form.

Hi. As I said mine will be together. They're girls. But look completely different. They wanted together as one of them struggled with friendships and the other one was worried her sister maybe easily led!

We had a meeting with the head of year and they said they will only be together for registration. Then they will be in different subject classes. I'm not too bothered. I actually think it's quite nice for them to have the same friends etc.

My twin and I (b/g) where in the same form at school.

He was much cleverer than me so we literally spent no time together - they mixed the forms up in Year 9 but we still somehow ended up together.

Sixth Form we were seperated at my request though.

B/g twins here going into Y10.

I think you really want them separated if you can. I don't really understand why they can accommodate other last minute requests, but not yours (which is necessarily last minute due to their changes). Can you bear to go back to them and ask again - they will know it is good practice to separate twins at secondary, and they really ought to be able to accommodate your DD being with a friend if they've been able to make all these other changes.

Plan B might be to wait until one of them makes some friends in another form and ask to move them then (maybe a bit of research to find out if that is a possibility - there was a fair bit of chopping and changing at my kids school but I don't know if it's the same everywhere).

If they are not similar academically, and the school set by ability, I might be less worried as they won't be in many classes together.

My DTs are in separate form groups and were initially in different sides of the school 'population', meaning they had no classes together. We had a problem in Y9 where they put them in the same class for virtually all their lessons and neither wanted to move. I was really unhappy about this - they have quite a spiky relationship these days and need their own space. I contacted the HoY, who was very good and sorted it out quickly - working with my DD to settle her in a new class. They were both relieved when it was done. They will have to have some classes together in Y10 (e.g., there is only one German class and they will be in the same Maths set based on ability), but there is nothing to be done about it in those instances.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

I think that’s pretty off actually. You said you wanted them separated so they did and put them with friends like any other children. Because someone else complained, they moved your daughter into a class with her twin, from whom you had requested that she be separated, knowing that she didn’t have any friends in that class, but thinking it would do because she had her brother in there. Is that right? And now they’re saying she can either have the specific thing she didn’t want or be completely separated from everyone because someone else had to be accommodated? I would definitely raise it with the school and say that you don’t think it’s on. Not being in the same form as her twin is hardly an unreasonable request and she doesn’t deserve to be separated from all her friends whether she has her twin with her or not!
For what it’s worth, I am a secondary teacher.