Y7- 2023/24 support thread

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

Hi, just dropping in a thread for those of us who have kids starting secondary this coming September. There was a lovely thread going last year and they are carrying it on into Year 8, so here is a place for us the year behind.

How is everyone feeling as they finish Primary and prepare for Secondary?

Dd is moving from a single form entry "family feel" type cosy Primary into a large 8 form entry, multiple building secondary. She's going alone, her primary class are really split up across multiple secondaries.

The transition days helped, and she is excited,but has been really sad this weke saying her goodbyes

Is everyone prepped for uniform etc?

Fingers crossed for good SENCOs @ElvenDreamer

The #1 reason I hoped DD would get into grammar was because I figured the average grammar school SENCO has a very different kind of caseload compared with comprehensive schools. I knew DD’s struggles (high masking, high anxiety, slow processing) would most likely be ignored in a comp with a massive range of SEN support needs. I figured academically able autistic kids make up the majority of a grammar school SEN register - and I was right!

Jelly, my dd is pretty much that. What adjustments do you think secondary might make?

Mine hasnt tried clothes on except when ive made her.

I was invited in for a chat a few weeks ago, and I’d spent a few weeks prior to that noting down things I thought were worth mentioning. Things like being mildly told off will totally ruin her day (that’s not to say she can’t be told off, but it needs to be done sensitively) and the ways in which she can make social errors, like appearing rude when she doesn’t mean to. Also what meltdowns look like for her. I said all this privately because I didn’t think she’d appreciate being present while I said all this.

The SENCO then asked her some really insightful things - little accommodations like where do you prefer to sit in a classroom, are you comfortable being asked questions in front of the class, what are your sensory issues? They then put together a one page profile to be distributed to staff.

We’ve also been invited into school for an hour the week before term starts, where she’ll be shown her form room, lockers, timetable and have the chance to ask questions. I thought that was a really nice touch. Hopefully the first few days will be slightly less overwhelming because she’ll have been given a little advance notice.

@Jellycats4life that all sounds good. And yes I think you're right about the majority of kids the senco likely to be dealing with at a grammar. I'd come to similar conclusions!

DS was given a chance to go into school with me before his main transition day and we had another tour with the head of Year and the senco, got to meet form teacher, see form room, locker room etc. Senco then made sure she subtly checked in on him on his main transition day and then invited me in for his one plan. Much like you I did that without him so we could talk freely and she is doing a basic initial sheet to be circulated to all staff before he starts to make them aware of the important things that can make or break a day, eg seating position, how assembly might be tackled etc. He will be invited to a once a week lego club with other like minded kids, she's already earmarked an older boy she thinks he might enjoy chatting to! and he'll have a weekly check in with her LSA.
What sort of things do you know so far for your school @Busornobus67?

@Busornobus67 I also have an academically able dd with ?ASD. I’m happy with the ALNCOs so far…we’ve had an extra transition day and 2 chances for 1:1 tours, with another offered the day before she starts. They asked for a list of things I think will help her alongside the EDP, like a quick reference guide for her teachers I guess. She’ll also get a lunch pass to leave lessons 10 minutes early to avoid a busy lunch hall, and a pass to allow her t

Ooops!
To leave lessons as needed to access the ALN area as she needs to if she feels overwhelmed

I'll join! We are moving back to the UK from overseas and my DS will be starting Year 7 after not having been in the British education system for nearly four years, so that feels like quite a big challenge for him, socially and academically - it will be interesting to see whether he is on roughly the same level as other kids his age or whether we will need to get some tutoring to help him catch up. He's fairly bright though and a quick learner, so I'm hoping it won't be too challenging for him. He loves maths and sport / PE so is really looking forward to proper PE lessons and hopefully joining the school football team. I am super proud of how he's currently facing the prospect of such a huge transition.

Shocked at the uniform prices!! He hasn't worn Unform for close to 4 years and he usually wears shorts, t-shirts, and trainers to school, so that may well be the biggest hurdle for him!

@hummingbirdsinmygarden you may have done this already, but you can look at the KS2 curriculum online if you are concerned that your DS may not be entirely 'up to speed' and have a look in the holidays at parts of the curriculum which look totally unfamiliar? The CGP books and BBC Bitesize are useful for this.

It actually didn't occur to us at the time (other more pressing things to worry about, tbh), but DS1 was moved up into a year 6 class for the second half of year 5 and said that it was only once he was in year 7 that he realised what he had missed in terms of year 5 topics in Maths.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/425601/PRIMARY_national_curriculum.pdf

You can also try the ks2 sats papers.

It is true that in primary and likely our comprehensive secondary the senco will be already busy without dealing with dd. So grammar may have more support.
The primary was generally rubbish with a!l sen so hoping for better experience.

Hi, just joined and was hoping to get some advice or reassurance.

my youngest is about to start secondary school at the end of the month and I’m so worried over how she will adapt. She only turned 11 in June and is very young for herself as well as being quite small.

she is very shy and introverted, she had the same best friend throughout primary they were so close but towards the end of primary her best friend started to pull away from her, she is more mature and outgoing and I guess wanted to spread her wings. They will still be in the same tutor group along with some other girls from primary but on the transition days they seemed to ignore and exclude her.

im so worried she will be left out and be on her own. Whilst I know they do usually make new friends I’m just worried her anxiety and social awkwardness will prevent her from getting to know new people.

I’ve been spending more time with her over the school hols to try and boost her confidence but she has been having terrible mood swings and has real meltdowns which can be hard to deal with.

guess I’m just looking for reassurance from anyone who has been through this, whose daughter was young minded starting secondary and shy, how did they get on.

any advice or tips for helping my daughter would be appreciated.

I would ask for a change of forms straightaways. No point flogging a dead horse with the old friendship group- fresh start new mates.

Then the old mates may well drift back together and also be a source of friendship outside of school?

All uniform + stationery purchased, laptop order to school completed. Just received lesson + homework timetables.
Feeling very organised so sure there's something I've forgotten!

I would ask for her to join another form group asap. Better for her to have a fresh start. If the girls are not being nice and already excluding her, it will make her have a tough start. Better to just make new friends.

DC2 starting. He's v chilled and seems ready to move on. Oct born tho & plenty of mates going but not his best mates

Check if they spend much time in forms. Ours don't. They meet every morning but then are all in different sets / groups. Forms aren't a big deal friendship wise.
Other schools do lessons in forms.

Is that a private school?!?!

@stillfiguringthisout No, just a local grammar school.

Think I’ve mostly sorted uniform - shoes and remaining stationery tomorrow.
Suspect DS2 is now very stressed about school though - he was not a fan at all over helping sort out his new stuff - burst into tears several times. So sympathy @stillfiguringthisout but also not sure of best way forward. Mine also isn’t very good at making friends. He got put into a tutor group with his best mate (though not any of his other friends) but slightly afraid that his mate (who is lovely) will make other friends fairly fast leaving him on his own :(.
He’s also freaking out over the idea of losing his stuff (especially his new door key). Such a shame he’s not more excited as he was not a fan of primary at all and couldn’t wait to (re)join his brother at school last term. Don’t know how to reassure him really. Going to try and get everything sorted this week and then his dad has a couple of weeks off and can hopefully distract him.
@Raindancer411 that uniform does sound a bit nuts. Here normal uniform v reasonable (no blazer, just a tie and jumper plus supermarket stuff) and they aren’t too fussy about shoes. And then the PE kit goes a bit crazy (but not quite embroidered crazy luckily). Mind aren’t even very sporty!

@Raindancer411 our local grammar does that too, I nearly passed out at the uniform requirement when DD went last year, I also got some things preloved and meticulously picked out the old embroidery and stiched new (in the house colours as per directed!). DS's grammar thankfully is slightly less full on uniform wise, although the blazer price is ridiculous.

Any idea how much to load the lunch card up with? I have looked t the menu but so far looks like a meal drink and biscuit will end up costing a fiver a day which is twice what I was paying for primary school dinners......

That's a lot. Ours would be around £2-3

Ours does a hot plated meal, a dessert and a drink for £3. This is also the amount that FSM tops the card up each day.

Our hot meal of the day is £3.05 but they can overspend horribly if they get into buying hot chocolate and/or snacks and puddings. Mind you my eldest now usually takes a packed lunch instead as the queues can be horrible. Schools just sent through an update on school day timings - according to that the whole of yr7 (up to 240 kids) has a 15min slot to buy their lunch. So less than 4 seconds each if they all want lunch….. Think DS2 might end up making himself a sandwich too!

Just popping in to give some advice for anyone who's worried about friendships in Y7. Just gone through this myself. My DD wasn't in a form group with friends as the secondary deliberately splits them up I think. The first few weeks she met up with kids from her primary but one of them stopped speaking to her and it got hard. She made it through the first term but by the second friendships had cemented more and she was struggling.

If this happens to your kids, get in touch with school. They are used to friendship struggles. I emailed her form tutor and said she was finding it difficult. The next day she was suddenly in a club with a small group of other students having similar problems. They got time out of lesson to do an activity together in an attempt to foster friendships. I know the school also had things set up in term 1 for those who needed it.

That really helped her feel less alone. She's ended the year with a small group of good friends who all have similar social struggles to her and they make a great team. She's so much more confident and sure of herself thanks to the school's intervention.

I didn't tell her I was talking to her form tutor because she'd have been horrified. But it was the best thing to do for her. If your schools have a half decent pastoral team they'll help you.

Hi everyone
I also have a DS starting Y7 in the next couple of weeks.
He has ADHD and Autism, and the SEN department have been really good at speaking with us and discussing what we can do to support him - but it doesn’t stop me fretting about what those first few days and weeks will be like for him! We’ve met a couple of other new boys, but sadly neither are in his form. He is the only one going from his current school. He seems chilled about it, but I doubt he really is under the surface.
New Y7 sports camp starts tomorrow, so that’s the first hurdle.

Been feeling rather stressed this weekend because his school bus pass arrived, and he’s been given one for the public bus, the bus stop for which is a 20 min walk from the school - when there is a direct school bus service… I can’t understand why they’ve done this! I’ve fired off a query, but I don’t know how long it will take to get a response. Doesn’t feel good having a shifting of the goal posts like this so close to the start of term (and this sort of change to expectations is the kind of thing that will really unsettle him)

Is everyone ready with uniform / kit now? I’ve got all clothing now I think, just need a bag and to top up on stationery.