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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Moving child in year 7

14 replies

HXCinders · 13/07/2023 14:50

Really strugling to come to a big decision so wondered what the Internet might be able to add in!

With the increase in mortgage rates and general cost of living we are starting to consider relocating ourselves back to an area we used to live in that is significantly cheaper to exist in than where we are now. Our family are here but it isnt so far away that we would never see them.

The problem is our son in Year 6 and going in to Year 7 next year. He got in to a really nice school and has a couple of close friends and some other people which he would be worried about leaving and having to potentially start a new school. Of course if we did relocate there would be regular visits to the family we would leave here so he could meet up with friends at some point, but I think with kids if they are seeing one another regulary they soon move on.

I guess everyone feels like this when they think of moving their kids. My problem is that we arent necessarily needing to move, we are just choosing to to ease the mortgage burden so it feels like we are being a little seflish considering it.

Does anyone have any experiences similar to this and can offer some insight into how their kids coped with it?

OP posts:

Original poster

HXCinders · 13/07/2023 15:35

The bit where I mention "but I think with kids if they are seeing one another regulary they soon move on" should say, "but I think with kids if they aren't seeing one another regulary they soon move on"

OP posts:

peachgreen · 13/07/2023 15:37

I moved between Y6 and 7. Ruined a good decade of my life, if not more. Triggered an eating disorder and GAD. Would never ever do it to my own kids.

Hye000 · 14/07/2023 18:15

I guess it all depends on your finances now and how your finances will be in the future. If you are struggling now and your families income isn’t going to increase then unfortunately that comes before your child’s preference to stay with friends if it’s a choice between being able to survive in the current climate or becoming homeless/bankrupt

Foxesandsquirrels · 14/07/2023 18:32

Idk on paper it's ideal but my friends did this. Moved from London to a small city an hour away and their son has been miserable and depressed since. He started Y7 same time as local kids, got into a good school etc. He was happy and popular in his London primary. He's finishing Y8 now and still not settled. Hates it and wants to go back to London. I probably wouldn't do it.

SamPoodle123 · 15/07/2023 08:46

I think it really depends on the child and situation. You do what you need to do. Children can adapt. However, some do struggle when being moved. But mostly, I think if you do it at the start of secondary it should be fine. Kids will make new friends. Other dc in the school will be in the same situation of starting a new school. I would check though if it is a school that only has a couple feeder schools or if there are a few schools, as if only a small amount feed into it, those kids might already have their friendships, and then it is harder to make friends. If your life will significantly improve by moving, then I would say do it. But if it will only improve a little I would say stay put.

Adhdaaaah · 15/07/2023 08:55

peachgreen · 13/07/2023 15:37

I moved between Y6 and 7. Ruined a good decade of my life, if not more. Triggered an eating disorder and GAD. Would never ever do it to my own kids.

I moved in year 6, halfway though so got half of a new primary and then the secondary and I completely agree with this. Ruined a decade of my life - maybe more. It didn’t trigger an eating disorder for me, but anxiety that I still have problems with now. My parents say they watched me change from a happy child into someone else (they didn’t do anything about it though).

Ladylulabelle · 15/07/2023 09:00

@peachgreen do you mean you moved far away in y6? Lots of people from my primary went to different schools for y7 OP and they seemed to be ok. Friendships mix up a lot in y7 anyway.

I do think this really depends on the child and their personality and also a good amount of luck! If they meet likeminded people in their new class then great. If not, very tricky.

Angelik · 15/07/2023 09:06

How much are you actually going to save after stamp duty, estate agent and solicitor fees etc

SabrinaThwaite · 16/07/2023 08:17

We moved in Yr 7 - DC started new school after the Easter break. We did do a lot of prep re explaining the move and DC was involved in choice of new house and school, and we lucked in with getting a place at a great school. Missed old friends for a while but could keep in touch on Xbox or SM and soon made new ones. Great for independence - getting the bus to school etc. Only issue was that the school has a large rural catchment area so there is a certain amount of taxiing around.

dylexicdementor11 · 16/07/2023 21:13

I would never move a reasonably happy pre/teen unless it was absolutely necessary. My parents moved me as a teen and I barely survived.

Beamur · 16/07/2023 21:23

My parents moved about every 3 or 4 years when I was growing up. Some moves were better than others. The school I started in yr7 was fab and I was very happy there. It's not always doom and gloom.

breadwidow · 16/07/2023 21:50

We moved summer holidays of year 5 when I was a kid - so I had one year in primary school in new place. My mums rationale was this was easier than moving between year 6 & 7 and not knowing anyone at secondary school. In reality it didn't really help as I went to a different secondary school then almost all of of the friends I met during that year of primary! Anyway, overall the experience is wasn't too bad at all and I think moving between year 6 & 7 would have been equally fine. I guess every kid is different but if you really can't afford to live where you are I think it's prob better to do it. I think moving out of London may well be something we need to consider for similar reasons when the fixed rate ends next summer and my son will have just ended year 7 by then . . .

peachgreen · 17/07/2023 20:50

Ladylulabelle · 15/07/2023 09:00

@peachgreen do you mean you moved far away in y6? Lots of people from my primary went to different schools for y7 OP and they seemed to be ok. Friendships mix up a lot in y7 anyway.

I do think this really depends on the child and their personality and also a good amount of luck! If they meet likeminded people in their new class then great. If not, very tricky.

Yes, about an hour and a half away which was basically untravellable for me as an 11 year old. It was awful. I wasn’t happy again until I moved back as an adult.

Foxesandsquirrels · 18/07/2023 10:23

dylexicdementor11 · 16/07/2023 21:13

I would never move a reasonably happy pre/teen unless it was absolutely necessary. My parents moved me as a teen and I barely survived.

How old were you when you moved out of interest?

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