Strict no phones rule at secondary school

[mrstidytraxxxx]

DS is starting Y7 in September. The school has a strict no mobile phone rule on site. If a student takes a mobile onto school grounds and it is found, it is confiscated for a minimum of 48-hours.

We live approximately a 30-minute walk from secondary school. There are buses, but these are apparently unreliable.

Either myself or DH will take DS to school at present (primary school is less than 10-minute walk away) and he walks home by himself, with one of us meeting him at home.

When DS plays out with friends, he has his mobile with him and knows we use Google Family Link to check he is where he says he is and he is happy with this arrangement. Obviously, we will not be able to continue like this for school journeys from September.

I would like to get a GPS tracker, either key-ring or watch, to make sure where he is on the way home.

Can anyone recommend an Android-compatible GPS key-ring or watch, that does not alert if it moves too far away from the mobile it is connected to, preferably subscription free?

Thanks in advance.

Same rule at our school. If a child wants to contact a parent they have to ask a teacher to contact the receptionist. There has to be a good reason why. If the parent wants to contact the child, they ring the receptionist.

My DD says her friends used to hide in the toilets and play on them during breaks. But they are OFF at all times (allegedly) or there's a detention.

I've never put a tracker on my child.

@SweetNaffAll

I do get where you are coming from. I’ve done the training and sat through the police talks as a member of staff.

What the police are telling us is that it is all happening by phone. Which is why more and more schools are insisting on and absolutely no phones policy. Because we know what those kids - even the ones whose parents would swear up and down that they’ve given them the right guidance- will do when they have phones +peer pressure. It is too strong a pull for almost any child.

We have two children being prosecuted at the moment for distributing nudes. They are nice kids- their parents are mortified. Each family was entirely rocked when presented with the evidence of what their child had done- because they had such a good relationship with their kid.

The people who build these devices pay millions to behavioural psychologists to make them as addictive as possible. The same goes for social media companies. They just want your attention for as many hours a day as possible and be damned the consequences.

What we are talking about is a total rewriting of social habits, norms, moral attitudes to suit the bottom line of tech companies.

I would politely suggest that parents don’t know as much as they think about their child’s phone usage and most would be horrified if they did.

I totally agree with PP

example - two teens caught in the act - the person who videoed the scene sent it to 100 teens on their contact list within minuets -

DD told me about it and ask that I not contact the girls parents - I asked her why? I didn’t know the girls parents and I assured her that someone else would speak to them anyway. She was worried the girl would get into trouble with the teachers as she was underage -

I told her that whatever trouble she’d get into at school would be far less than the punishment her own friends were spreading online for all to see and judge - that video is still out there - any ‘detention’ would’ve been over a done with.

Im not saying teachers would’ve punished the teens involved - I know they wouldn’t - however I was speaking to a teen brain and how they operate. This was a light bulb moment for her -

And now they appear to be videoing ‘gang’ punishments for what reason? Attention?

It’s about time the laws caught up with these things and I’m glad schools are banning phones. For the good of everyone - perhaps parents should do the same.

Agree with @saraclara

I genuinely feel sorry for today's teenagers, being tracked every minute by their parents.

I would also say that children are more at risk from phone use than having something happen to them on the way home.

Phones open up the possibility for them to view porn, have weirdos message them, have other kids target them for bullying, see stupid dares on TikTok - the list goes on.

I don't agree with a tracker. I hate the fact that everything we do is filmed or tracked. What we have bought, where we have been etc...

I hadn't read @Boudicasbeard post but agree with this

People are terrified of rare events like accidents or kidnap but seem to completely ignore the things that are much more likely to happen- online bullying, sexting, nudes, revenge porn, grooming and coordinated attacks. All using phones

So that's why schools don't like students to have them in school.

Yep - my 14 year old DD has a 90 minute journey to school. She has multiple after-school classes a week - one of which requires 3 buses to get to.

Sometimes the classes run over and I can see if she's on her way home or not without disrupting the lesson or the teacher.

I can also help more easily when she gets in a panic about whether she got off the bus too early or late. No point in her describing things as not an area of London I know. On the tracker I can see her on a map and direct her.

It's also useful if trains are delayed and she's stuck in one of the 3 dead zones on the line where there is no signal.

DD's school similar to the above.

Staggered entry times, multiple gates, straight to first class rather than assemblies or form rooms.

They don't seem to have textbooks at all, and PE kit is worn all day at school on days with PE or after-school sports clubs.

Not to derail, but I was living independently in my own flat, working part-time and having to pay rent and bills and everything myself by the final year of my GCSEs. I could not have survived without a mobile and there were times when I had to step out of class to make urgent calls (for example arranging emergency plumber, phoning the benefits office which could only be done during certain hours, phoning for GP appointments, fielding work-related urgent calls).

There are so many kids who are living without parental support, homeless, in care (which often doesn't involve much care at all), who are carers themselves, or who are essentially running their households due to parents being substance abusers or for other reasons, as well as secondary school pupils who have children themselves. These pupils have very different reasons for needing mobile phones than the ones stated here.

If I had a baby in daycare I would be furious at a teacher confiscating my phone because what if something happened to my baby and the daycare had no way to get in touch with me? I was regularly punished at school for not having parents, I hope things have changed since then, but a rule that phones can only be collected by a parent punishes kids who are homeless or have alcoholic/abusive parents.

I don't know if the rules secondary schools have over phones also cover sixth form, but it seems like common sense that a rule that's sensible for an 11/12 yr old isn't going to be appropriate for a 16/17/18yr old.

@MariaVT65 "Are they expected to carry these things with them all day?"

At my son's school, yes they were. There was space in the PE block and the music block to leave sports equipment and instruments, but everything else they carried round like tortoises. It was such a huge site that if they had had lockers they could easily have been a quarter of a mile away from them at the end of the day...

@marewindham the Pastoral team would monitor individual cases and special consideration given. We do want the best for students and are aware that circumstances vary.

Also, at our school, sixth form can use them in the common room and in lessons at the discretion of the teacher @marewindham

I would hope so. Obviously my schooldays were a while ago (mid-noughties) and I hope things have changed since then, but my school had absolutely no idea the students who were pregnant (until it became obvious), who were rough sleepers, who were sofa surfing, who had abusive families. You can't give special consideration if you don't know.

A lot of young people with rough home lives feel pressure to hide, or are pressured/threatened by their families to keep it secret, keep it secret out of shame or fear of judgement and bullying, or just don't feel that they have the kind of relationship with their teachers where they feel comfortable disclosing.

If a child doesn't disclose and there's no significant SS involvement, there's just no way for the school to know.

Obviously having a baby is different since that would be on record and possibly have SS involvement, but most kids who have abusive/alcoholic parents keep it a secret (lots of kids who are carers, ditto) and the school has no clue.

We have clues. We try our best to help students who are homeless and otherwise on the margins.

Sorry but that just hasn't been my experience. In my experience teachers and schools only care about naice middle class students, and dismiss kids from chaotic or troubled backgrounds as being beyond help. Or they have some myth in their head of grateful well-behaved helpless ickle orphans, when the reality is that children who have been severely abused and/or experienced homelessness are going to be deeply traumatised, defensive, hostile, and suspicious of adults trying to "help" them.

But children who have a natural normal psychological response to trauma just get written off as difficult and non-compliant.

Not a single teacher at my school had any idea when I was sleeping rough, when it was extremely obvious and all the other kids knew. They just punished me instead.

Unless a child discloses or SS informs the school, there really just isn't any way for a school to know. I work with young people and many, many of them experienced abuse, homelessness, poverty, being a carer, parental alcoholism, etc. and the one common theme is that the schools didn't know or care and that they were punished for being victims.

I constantly read stuff both here and elsewhere about kids being punished for not having clean uniform, not having proper uniform, not having the right equipment. Any school that has a blanket policy that kids should be punished for not having access to a washing machine is obviously not one where kids are going to feel safe disclosing abuse.

I've mentioned this before on MN and certain posters who are teachers and quite well-known for defending teachers were insistent that even if a child has perfect behaviour and excellent grades, they should be punished for not having proper uniform because it's a sign of disobedience and will lead to bad behaviour. Without any understanding that children don't have all that much control over what they wear.

In schools with uniforms, girls are conditioned to accept the opinion of others about their clothing, which is very often an exercise in slut-shaming. The policing of girls' self-expression is normalized.

My DCs went to high school in the US and initially when phones becamena thing, the school banned phones; parents had to go to the school at 3pm to get a phone if it was confiscated.

Eventually phones were allowed because parents were upset that kids couldn't get in touch and they couldn't get in touch with the kids - parents working away from home couldn't get to the school to pick up confiscated phones and were calling to see if the kids had got home and could they please take X or Y out of the freezer to defrost for dinner, or whether they had got to their PT job or to babysit, or to find out what time sport/ band/ theatre rehearsals were over, and getting a busy tone. There were students who had to take care of younger siblings after school and couldn't call a parent if something went wrong because the phone was in the school office.

In short, it was a total pain in the arse for everyone, and the school got fed up of enforcing a rule that did absolutely nothing to safeguard students, while actually making family life and students' lives more difficult and complicated than they should have been. Regardless of the rule, the majority had a phone anyway. So phones were allowed, and students now place them in a phone box on the teacher's desk when they enter a classroom. Teachers allow students to take photos of homework assignment instructions, of the questions in maths, etc instead of lugging a 400 page hardcover textbook home.

Quite frankly, if parents see fit to give students a piece of technology that has been around for decades, then what are schools saying about parental judgement when they confiscate phones? And who do they think they are kidding if they believe confiscating phones is somehow protecting kids? Kids spend the majority of each day outside of school.

What a horrid way of enforcing a no phones in school policy.

My DSs' school issued all students with Yondr phone pouches. The phones have to go in the pouch at the start of the day and they are locked, and then at the end of the day as they leave school they place the pouch lock on the magnet which unlocks the pouch. That way students have their phones with them for trips into and from school.

Only once since April did one of my DC forget and have to go back to school to unlock the pouch.

But the no phones policy was set by State Government legislation so schools have no choice.

Well, @marewindham and @mathanxiety , I can honestly say that we try our best for young people in our care, but obviously nothing will convince you of that fact and I'm sorry that your experiences have been so negative.

@OrderOfTheKookaburra

That is great for schools that can afford it. We looked into that system and it would cost tens of thousands. The government do not provide funding for this.

Would be easier if parents just did not buy their kids smart phone. What is wrong with a phone that only makes phone calls and sends messages? Surely that meets all the requirements for phoning for a lift and checking in, without any of the horrible extras.

@OrderOfTheKookaburra
In the UK, state schools do not have $20 a pupil spare for a system like that.

I think the government helped fund it - they didn't have as massive a shortfall for COVID like the UK because they didn't pay up to 80% of income, they paid set amounts.

Or maybe they took it out of the $1000 per child I have to pay to the school every year?

There are some doomsayers in the world, @mrstidytraxxxx who manage to see the worst in everything.

Ignore them.

@DreamTheMoors "There are some doomsayers in the world, @mrstidytraxxxx who manage to see the worst in everything."

You mean the doomsayers who think children are in danger if their parents are not able to track them every second of their day?

Tickets for buses are cheaper if on the bus company app, same for trains. You need a smartphone for those. If you have a smartphone you don't need to carry cash for lunch, you can pick up groceries on the way home. You can sign in to the local gym on the way home from school etc, etc.
Life has changed, smartphones have become a part of everyday life. Not everything is social media based, and not even just a phone to let you know a change of plans.

@OrderOfTheKookaburra , the underfunding of education is in such a crisis that something like a mobile phone policy is way down the list of priorities. Teachers are on strike this week for 2 days due to the funding issues which means some dc are hanging out at home unsupervised etc on their phones for 2 school days, it puts it in perspective.

Hi Op,
My children went to a school with a zero tolerance policy regarding phones meaning no phones in the bag or blazer, even if the phone was switched off. The school would do random bag searches and if a phone was found, it would be confiscated until the end of term.

There are pros and cons to this policy but from a practical perspective, make sure your mobile and home number is jotted down in your child’s scheduler so that if something happens on the way home, they can ask to borrow someone’s phone to call you.

I appreciate this sound bonkers, especially for a year 7 child, but my child asked a stranger if he could use their phone to call me when he sprained his ankle and couldn’t walk home. I was able to pick him up in the car without any issues.
I never bothered putting trackers in his uniform but I did explain that, due to not having a phone and him not being able to update me, not to go wandering off on the way home without letting me know.

Also as parents we got in the habit of updating other parents if there were traffic issues, or a school performance over running which meant the children would be late home from school.