DD seems really flat after finishing GCSEs

[memenotea]

I thought she’d be absolutely over the moon after all the hard work and revision but she came home on Friday after their Leavers assembly a bit flat really. She has lazed about all weekend barely doing anything, has even left her phone lying on the side which is unheard of. She says she’s fine, just tired.
Anyone else’s kids seems a bit at odds after finishing GCSEs?

With so many exams in a short amount of time I am not surprised that she wants a weekend of chilling. I'm sure she will be back to normal by prom or other Leavers events

DD has barely moved from their bed or the sofa.

They did come and give me a hug (very unlike them) and got quite choked. They thought (no idea why) that they got their results on leavers and prom day, 7th July hence why they had those things, and with the strikes said does that mean our results won't happen that day. When I said they don't get them until the end of August, they had a huge panic.
They said they're convinced they've failed, that they will need to resit maths, they won't be able to do the A'levels they want. Lots of tears

Tried to reassure them that everyone will feel like that between now and August.

It is such a long wait for them all.

It's completely normal: there is a real cliff edge from "got lots to do" to "yikes nothing to do" and it can be overwhelming. It's more common to feel
a bit flat, or to crash, than it it's to feel euphoric, but it's rarely said. It’s a good idea to have something gentle planned in for the days after, and to support them in clearing away/ filing their notes, files etc within three days of finishing. Otherwise they tend to brood.

Yes, my ds son on Saturday said he felt really depressed and he didn't know why. On the last exam(Geography) he said he just couldn't focus. He came straight back. He's a little better today. I think they're exhausted. The heat didn't help either 😫

I did after mine too. I think its normal.

Isn't it a 'now what?' kinda moment?

Unless you have a fun packed summer planned of course it's going to be pretty flat. Leavers day is exciting to a point but also a moment where you go 'im never going to see a bunch of these people again', sometimes people who you have spent your entire childhood with. Your whole social world just almost flips...

...but you are in this limbo where you don't go to the next stage for months. You have to wait for results and then if you are going into more education have to wait until courses start in September.

It's the middle of June now, after a whole pile of stress. It's a massive crash after all that without any structure or much to get up for (unless you have a proactive kid whose got a summer job).

They don't know what to do with themselves for months. There is this almost 'nothingness' which they've never experienced before.

After A levels I think it's a different vibe for various reasons (not least you are 18 so have more freedom and ability to do work, travel, etc etc).

But after GCSEs? Na it's crap long summer where you get nagged by parents but have no motivation to do anything.

Exhausted, leaving school, things ending...a while before new things begin. Huge amount of change. Not surprising...

Yip. Totally normal. I walked into my classroom to find my year 11 class there (with ice lollies and a can of iced coffee for me)! They said it was too hot and they didn't know what to with themselves and did I have jobs for them, lol. They backed the display boards, bless 'em, and I sent them round the rest of their teachers.

100% normal. They’re exhausted.

My DS has been exactly the same this weekend. Quite relieved to see this thread!

I feel as though I'm treading on egg shells a bit with DD. She's got a slightly lost look about her at times. I think it's a mix of expecting to feel elated but not, and not quite knowing what the future holds. She's usually a v confident kid but she keeps saying she thinks she'll be disappointed with some of her results 🤷‍♀️ I'm trying to make sure she gets out a bit and she does seem to be picking back up with a few hobbies. Feels like a very long wait till August. I really hope we're not in for 10 weeks of worrying about results.

And I definitely think exhaustion is playing a part. I'm glad to have found this thread!

My DD had an emotional meltdown this afternoon, so i am really pleased to see this thread. I think she feels very lost about what to do with herself and anxious and i suppose the whole identity thing of finishing school and whilst she hopes to return to do alevels, just not quite the same.

She's probably knackered OP, at least mentally. After my A-levels I was also completely uninspired about the thought of future study, so she may be feeling like that after her GCSEs too. A tutor said to me it was just because I'd just had to do so much of it.

Yes DS has been tearful today. Started off really snappy then got quite upset. Worried he hasn't done as well as he might have. I think he doesn't know what to do with himself, but once he had a focus - helping his brother prepare a meal for their dad then he is going to do some painting etc tomorrow - I think he feels better.

Yes, ds too!! I think he's just exhausted and needs some time to come to terms with leaving school. Big change!

DD seemed happier today and I even managed to get her out for a bit of fresh air and exercise. I think the lie ins have helped. Plus we've sorted/cleared all evidence of school work and revision which had been strewn everywhere for weeks. How's everyone else's DC doing?

@memenotea any change today? I think it is completely normal and is a combination of so many things. My youngest is year 12 so I have had this twice. Secondary, unlike primary, has many more memories associated with it and this is the end of that journey. It feels like the last 5 years have been building toward GCSEs, it is all they ever hear about in school. Then they are off but everyone else is still in school so it doesn't really feel like summer holidays. Possibly siblings are still in uniform and heading out to school every day. Then there is the lack of structure to the day, their holidays in year 11 are usually filled with some revision, both of mine had 2 sets of mocks.

Mine allowed themselves a week of doing nothing really, very lazy and well deserved but then made a routine of their day. Ds1 was more productive, learned to play a musical instrument, learned a language for fun, did supercurriculars which are what you add to your UCAS personal statement for your subject ie you love History but outside of your A levels what have you done to feed that passion? Podcasts, books, online courses. Keep a diary of it too as they will forget what they did. Obviously if they have no idea what they love or want to study at uni then that is different. Ds1 knew from year 10 and is at uni now, Ds2 decided in year 12.

Common to fall into a bit of a black hole after finishing a task/project that's consumed most of your time and energy for a long time. FWIW happens when you submit a PhD as well! Give your dd a break.

Yes DD has also got a cold to go with her exhaustion and we had a full on weekend so I am just leaving her to sloth this week.
She does have some MH issues around depression through so need to keep an eye.
Thankfully she starts her new part time job at the weekend so I know that will give her some structure.
Bit sad we can't afford a holiday this year as it would have been nice to take her away. We do have some nice days out planned but it's not the same.

How about..
A short holiday, IF you can afford it
A shopping trip with lunch out. A new dress lifts the spirits
Research a course to learn a new skill/craft. Knitting is fashionable once more
Renovate/paint an old piece of furniture for their room
Train as a lifeguard; then a job
Day trip on the train with a friend; coast, different city/town,
Volunteer at local school, hear reading/find list jumpers/sharpen pencils
Join with a couple of friends and do a local litter pick ( there are organisations which supply bags, etc.)
Charity shop bargain hunt

I am worried about this too.
Obviously they should chill as much as they can after all the hard work.
From experience, after about a week lack of structure gets boring.
DD made plans with a friend but friend cancelled and she was upset.
She also struggles with low mood and mild depression so I need to make sure she has a simple structure to the day for some fun and something useful to boost her mood.
Not easy when parents work full time :-(

Absolutely normal. I got a call after Friday's physics exam and while DD sounded reliefed she also sounded really lost.

She was away with the Explorer Scouts over the weekend and now had the odd things like Leaver's assembly and has a 6th form taster day this week.

She definitely earned the right to do nothing, she was really committed to work hard and it's normal to fall into a bit of a hole for a while.

We have several things planned to get her engaged but with plenty of doing nothing in between.