Moving DD from private to private - what would you do?

[AngelinaBusyBee]

Hi everyone, I wonder if you could shed some light here...
My DD is in Y7 in a private school not close to our home. It takes her 1 hour on the bus to get there. The school days are long and she gets back home very late.
She is always exhausted because of the very long days.
She likes the school but does not love it. When I ask about her school she seems never excited about it. Just okay. There are a few things she complains about, food is one of them.
We are thinking about moving her to another private school closer to our home (20 min on the bus). However, this school is more academic. On Mumsnet there are contrasting views about said school. Some say it is a hothouse, others say it is supportive.
I don't know if I take the risk.
I would love for DD to attend a school closer to our home and for her to have shorter days, compared with current school. On the other hand I worry about making a mistake, putting her in a pressurised environment.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?

I guess the question is why didn't you send her to the closer one in the first place? And has that reason changed?

Do you know any children in the second school?

would your daughter enjoy an academic setting?
Do you think the school would be a fit?
Are there any alternatives?

sorry for the questions, but trying to think through the decision making process

Good luck in deciding

Do check the school days are not later with clubs etc, 20 mins journey time may not be the factor if time arriving home is the same.
Also, check homework hours expected and the examples of homework set. Some schools say 30 mins per subject, so 1 hour but if history sets an essay and Maths have 45 questions it would be realistically longer. Add all the other subjects and it may not be go home earlier to chill out time but study more.

The obvious question is - is she academic?
If she is bright of course you should send her, or give it a chance. The meh response from secondary school students is quite normal in my experience, and not a bad thing. Bad food (same everywhere) and indifference is a bit of a win!

That said your dd might find it more interesting and stimulating being with ambitious bright children.

Is your dd bored at school? Maybe she will enjoy a more academic environment. Did you ask her? Have you checked if she can get a place? As usually for the academic schools you will need to take a test.

I'd be surprised if the more academic school has spaces. Why didn't you send her there in the first place?
Those complaints are very common in Y7, it's a long year for them and everyone is tired and fed up at this point. It is a long commute, but not abnormal for private schools.

Most people who refer to academic schools as hot houses are the parents of those who didn't get places.

If she is y7 you will need to hope they have an in year admission place available and again she may be competing against others waiting for that place. Or do they have a year 9 intake in which case she will probably be competing against others in exam entry in say January of year 8.

No harm in exploring these options if she is academic enough to attend.

@Sodthebloodypicnic I didn't send her there to start with because I thought the school she is at would be a better fir for her. She is academically able but at the time I didn't think she was confident enough to be in a very academic, pressurised environment.

@Foxesandsquirrels Yes, I checked with the school and they have places. She would have to do the entrance exam of course. 13+ is another option and the exam for it is in a few months time.

I think you will just need to figure out what the actual problem is really. If she is bored and too tired, than move her. If she's struggling with school in general, moving to a more academic one won't necessarily be helpful.

What would I do? I'd move her to a state school close to home and accept that throwing money at it isn't going to change her experience of education whatsoever.

She moans about the food, is exhausted by the travel, says school is "ok", you know she won't enjoy being pressured academically. What's the point?

Has she attended an open day at the closer school? At this age I would be swayed by her own opinion.

Can you make the commute any easier? E.g. would it be a shorter journey to drive/get a taxi, or even the tube? The bus would presumably take longer with the extra stops. Or even bringing some creature comforts on board, like a travel pillow and headphones. An hour is long, and it wouldn't suit my dc, but we've opted to move near the right school to avoid a difficult commute. Is that an option for you at all? Although it doesn't sound like the school is quite right for other reasons. Are there any other options on the table - even boarding?

Yes, I agree with this (assuming you have a viable state school within reasonable proximity that you are happy with i.e not just the unsubscribed one that no one wants).

The alternative is to do what my parents did after making the same choice as you did and leaving me permanently exhausted and unable to make the most of the "better" school. Move house to be closer.

No, I will not move her to the closer private school unless she is super academic and wishes to move more academic school.
Your DD’s reaction is common in Year7. They are having longer school days suddenly after primary and learning lots of new things at school.
She may get more tired at the new school by academic pressure and making new friends etc.

Taster day and open day plus entrance exam at the right time. If she is keen to move and academically able then why not.
Kids in the same school can have very different experiences and "meh"
Is a textbook response at this age.
Some
Kids are joiners in to everything, others just want to float under the radar.
Has she any social life outside of school with the current friendship group (if any) or from yr 6