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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Oxfordshire small nurturing secondary schools - any suggestions?

13 replies

IrisEmily · 05/06/2023 15:28

Sorry, long post......We have been looking for a small, nurturing secondary school for my daughter (currently year 8 in a large West Oxfordshire state secondary) for Year 9, Sept 2023 entry.. She has been struggling for a long time with the environment, large numbers of kids and the behaviour of the other kids. She talks of it feeling like a prison; describing it as 'grey', broken, dilapidated equipment and furniture, behaviour she finds threatening from the other kids and disinterested teachers who struggle to manage behaviour (her description). Recently diagnosed with high functioning autism and ADD, social anxiety and OCD and starting on the road of school refusal. No ECHP as yet and my understanding is that this takes quite some time anyway. Her attendance and academic achievement are both badly going downhill. The Head of Year and SENCO are very helpful and supportive when we go to meet them, but the school does not have the resources to support her and most of their interventions don't prove to be very helpful. The class sizes, noise and behaviour is overwhelming for her and the only thing which has seemed to work is for her to sit in their quiet area and work alone, which isn't sustainable for the school as they cannot provide the supervision. We think she needs nurture and time, rather than a special school and this is reflected in feedback from the child psychiatrist she has been seeing. She is academically very bright and interested, given the right sort of input and a subject which interests her, and very artistic but does not test well and is not at all sporty. We have been advised not to consider some independent schools such as Cokethorpe, Kingham Hill and Bloxham because of their sporting focus or those which are academically selective. We have tried Forest Farm Montessori but they are full for Year 9 (we are on the waiting list) and Sibford, but they have refused her, given the proportion of SEN children they have in Year 9. We have an offer from Rye St Antony, but my daughter did not like the school or the children she met from her year who showed her around, so is refusing to even try a taster day. We are feeling stuck but feel we need to act urgently. We cannot home educate as she has a tendency to lose focus and needs supervision - both of us work so supervising her is not a possibility. Please can anyone help us with any suggested schools which might fit the bill? Anyone in a similar boat who has any other suggestions?

OP posts:
KleineDracheKokosnuss · 05/06/2023 15:42

Wychwood?

(disclaimer- it’s not my cup of tea but everyone keeps saying it’s nurturing and good for girls having trouble in mainstream schools)

Also - who advised you to avoid the others? At the good ones there’s something for everyone.

AngelinaBusyBee · 05/06/2023 17:16

Have you looked at D'Overbroeck's? It might be a good fit for her.

RedRiverSun · 05/06/2023 20:29

Our Lady Abingdon might fit.

Ericaequites · 05/06/2023 21:19

Wychwood?

Windy0urneckin · 05/06/2023 22:03

Have you considered Tudor Hall?

RedPanda2022 · 06/06/2023 07:40

Wychwood (would be my 1st choice)
rye
d’overbrooks
bloxham - not very selective and plenty of non sporty types there as well

nb. I have ds with ASD who is slightly younger but sounds VERY similar, clearly looking at coed or boys schools but we have applied to both d’overbroecks and bloxham. Would have tried to get wychwood if he were a girl (going coed but in early stages of that currently)

Newusernameaug · 06/06/2023 07:42

Wychwood

crosspelican · 06/06/2023 14:40

She sounds like a perfect fit for the Wychwood. It transforms girls the way you describe yours as being (in a good way!). Small, supportive, good teachers. It's going through a period of change right now with a new owner who is keen to make his mark on the school, but unless they magic up another 700 kids from somewhere, it's going be small and nurturing for some time to come, except with better facilities. It's also going co-ed, but it's going to be 90% girls for a while too, I'd say.

IrisEmily · 07/06/2023 09:50

Thank you everyone for your helpful responses. We did consider Wychwood when we first started looking around but were worried that, given DD is so unsettled, she might be joining at a time of too much change and the school would still be adapting. After reading the comments, we will have another look at it. Will also look into Tudor Hall, D'overbroecks and OLA. Thanks again for your suggestions.

OP posts:
crosspelican · 07/06/2023 11:11

To be honest, there's no sense of unsettledness at the school in the day to day. It's mostly just parents being ticked off that they signed up and made a huge financial investment in a single sex school, got their girls settled and happy, and then the school moved the goalposts. If you're not fussed about single sex or co-ed, then it doesn't really matter. There's definitely money being spent to make some long overdue improvements, which is nice.

Firehose21 · 29/07/2023 08:54

@IrisEmily I’ve only just come across this thread but your situation sounds almost identical to ours.

Did you manage to find a suitable school in the end?

Newme2016 · 02/08/2023 15:24

Hi, I agree with crosspelican that Wychwood is certainly not unsettled in any way. All the changes are good as far as I can see.

Also, the teachers aren’t changing - and they are absolutely brilliant. We are very lucky having each and every one of them.

I don’t think any other school you have mentioned will be as good at Wychwood at helping your daughter, and I am saying that with experience.

EJSt · 26/01/2024 12:05

Does anyone know what Kingham Hill School 6th form is like. Need to find alternative if my son does not get his bursary at present school. He can be a day boy at KHS which I can afford!

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