Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

How to help children become more engaged with school?

6 replies

SecondaryWorries · 04/06/2023 17:16

DD is Y9 and dreading going back to school tomorrow. She says it’s boring. With a bit of digging, we found out that it’s boring because there’s no one to talk to. Her old primary school friends dropped her and her current friends are neither in her form or in her sets so she’s alone in most classes.

She finds school work too easy, does zero work at home and thinks school is a waste of time. Her predicted grades are A* in all her GCSEs apart from Art. When they were finalising their options (in her school, they pick 5 subjects in Y9 and narrow it down to 3 in Y10) I asked school if she could keep the extra subjects but school said they couldn’t because of timetable issues. She is not, as far as I know, in the school's ‘more able’ register.

What I was wondering is, does anyone have any tips or suggestions on how to improve her engagement with school? I’m scared that with her apathy towards school she will end up not caring about her learning and, consequently, her grades. I already asked if she wants to change schools but she said ‘no, everywhere is the same’. I challenged that and she just shrugged. I suggested the school’s extracurricular clubs and she agreed to give the tennis club a try.

I don’t even know what I’m asking anymore 😣 sorry for the ginormous rant.

OP posts:
tennissquare · 04/06/2023 18:41

Sign her up for as much as you can outside school - guides, scouts, Duke of Edin from sept if possible, choir, drama, sports etc and keep her really busy. Suggest a holiday help out like walking a neighbours dog. It all helps to build her confidence and find her tribe and make school part of her life.

SecondaryWorries · 04/06/2023 19:25

Thank you, @tennissquare. She used to be really busy pre-lockdown but when things started opening back up she struggled to go back. I might suggest scouts or a different guides unit to her old one as she wouldn’t want to go back to our local one. Or Sea Cadets, I saw an advert for them on our local Facebook group today, they do Duke of Edinburgh… I will suggest a few things to her, thanks once again ☺️

OP posts:
Kazzyhoward · 04/06/2023 19:31

Won't they all get mixed up again in year 10 for the GCSE years, so there'll be opportunities to sit next to different people, make new friends, etc., in the new groups in September?

fruitypancake · 04/06/2023 19:37

Incentives for getting through it ?
Reminders that it's not forever
Sitting with her feelings and really listening.. 'I understand it's boring , it's tough .. I can see why you don't want to to ' validate - maybe she just needs to feel heard ?

SecondaryWorries · 04/06/2023 20:10

I have to be honest, @Kazzyhoward: I’m not sure. UK schooling is a bit of a mystery to me, but I thought that because her school starts choosing subjects in Y9 that it wouldn’t change much for Y10. That would be ideal in my opinion, if it did change and she could make new friends.

We had a long conversation about it on Friday, @fruitypancake. I even asked if she could do something different what would she choose, thinking she might say homeschool or online school, but she says she doesn’t know. At the moment she doesn’t try to get out of going to school, sometimes she misses the bus but that’s really early so she’s not even late for school if DH or I have to drive her instead. She’s counting down to the summer holidays so I suggested we could go on a road trip to Scotland or Ireland to motivate her through these last six weeks, she seemed to perk up a bit. Maybe she’s just tired at the moment.

Thanks everyone ☺️

OP posts:
Dodgeitornot · 05/06/2023 09:32

Definitely encourage her to do more outside of school, although I know it's easier said than done at that age. Esp for girls. Things get streamlined in Y10, so should get better for her as long as she keeps working and passes assessments well.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page