Tonbridge school or Seven oaks school?

mynameisuna · 30/05/2023 12:33

Really depends what you're looking for - they're very different! Tonbridge more traditional (house system), all boys, chapel, A level only, quite big on traditional boys' team sports. Sevenoaks more modern, coed, non-denominational (no chapel), IB only, less rugby-focused. Only real similarity is location.

toadsandtrumpets · 30/05/2023 12:40

This dilemma happens quite a bit for families 'local' to these schools. They are obviously both top schools but they are also very very different, with contrasting community atmospheres and cultures etc. So, with places at both it really depends what you and your son are after...
For starters...
Sevenoaks - Coed, IB, modern liberal ethos, secular.
Tonbridge - All Boys, A Levels, a more traditional English boarding school, chapel etc.

Original poster

Mar777 · 30/05/2023 20:17

Thank you for your answers. I am interested in the students' point of view. Does anyone have kids that go to these schools? Do they like it ? What about bullying in both of them?

OP posts:

toadsandtrumpets · 30/05/2023 22:52

Yes I had a child at Sevenoaks pretty recently. They loved it. Made many friends. On reflection the IB is hard work but very well run there. Didn't hear about any bullying at all in 5 years they were there. I'd say they experienced a very warm, inclusive and thoughtful community - enjoyed outward looking, cerebral and civilised school culture.

RS1001 · 04/06/2023 20:22

It depends on your type of kid as ultimately a distinction between the two is IB vs a-levels? Also Co-Ed vs not? Are the alpha or more collaborative?

Bullying is pervasive at Tonbridge. Unfortunately the school (all the way to the top) does little if anything to address this in terms of educating students and addressing poor individual/group behaviour. Lots of recent reports in the last 12/18months supporting this assertion sadly. Some very public others less so.

Original poster

Mar777 · 05/06/2023 18:17

Thank you so much for this info. This is very sad to hear, since we liked Tonbridge. Of course studying in a pressured environment with bullying around is tough.

OP posts:

chopc · 05/06/2023 20:18

I have had one in each and to me Tonbridge wins hands down. Sevenoaks is great for a high achieving self starter but Tonbridge will really nurture your child into a well rounded person. The house system works brilliantly and the housemaster we had really cared about each of his students and took a special interest in them.
Sevenoaks is all about independence. The relationship is between the student and school and parents are not kept informed as such whereas at Tonbridge you get a weekly email about the going on that week and you hear about individual students in that house. I question the value added in Sevenoaks whereas in Tonbridge it is obvious.

The IB is also not for the faint hearted. Eg if your student struggles with languages , there is no escape at sixth form.

I have heard of bullying in both but neither of my students experienced it

DTTop · 06/06/2023 14:31

Tonbridge is a really great school, I have a DS there and all round, it has just been an amazing experience for us.

StealthToddler · 06/06/2023 19:31

I have 2 children at Tonbridge. They are very different children but both are very happy and have found their niche. Pastorally they have been brilliant for our family.

PPW · 01/07/2023 16:59

I have a kid in Tonbridge too. So far things is fine to us. The bullying happened everywhere and guess this is just a separate independent issue. The school has addressed to this quickly. We are happy with this

RS1001 · 01/07/2023 19:21

@PPW i am glad things are going well for you. And bullying does happen everywhere (or most places). However it’s how schools deal with these actions/events both for the victim and perpetrators. TB has many policies which are just that - no enforced on followed. In many cases poor behaviours are condoned. Pastoral support (a supposed strength) is actually very weak. The ‘look the other way culture’ that resulted in events like Russell Tilson are being repeated over the years but with different characters and offences.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12214551/Ex-head-sixth-form-boys-school-goes-trial-historic-sex-crimes-against-three-pupils.html
Sadly the Judde incident was merely a very public event highlighting the issues the school is either not on top of or doesn’t care about.

Ex-head of sixth form on trial for sex offences against three pupils

Russell Tillson, 73, a Conservative councillor, is alleged to have committed six offences of indecent assault while teaching at Tonbridge School in Kent.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12214551/Ex-head-sixth-form-boys-school-goes-trial-historic-sex-crimes-against-three-pupils.html

PPW · 08/09/2023 12:04

Sorry for the late reply as we had a busy week for school opening. Thing is very simple to me, I asked my boy if he feels any bullying in the school and if he wants to continue with the same school. If he is happy with the school then I will be happy 😃. Turn out the answer is positive

IndecisiveofKent · 08/03/2024 09:50

Mar777 · 30/05/2023 08:23

Hello all,
Our son has got offers from Tonbridge school and Seven Oaks school.
We like both schools. Could you give us your advice.

OP we are in the same situation now, deciding between these 2 schools. Which one did you choose in the end? Finding the decision really difficult, they are SO different.

Original poster

Mar777 · 08/03/2024 11:16

IndecisiveofKent- We have probably chosen Sevenoaks, since they do the IB exam and they have a softer environment and it's co-ed. Tonbridge only lets children back home on Saturday afternoon and all boarders have to be there at 6 pm on Sunday for some church meeting.

OP posts:

Hmnnnnn · 08/03/2024 13:50

I live in this part of Kent and have friends with children that went to both schools. All happy. I though personally prefer Sevenoaks school surroundings and area of town over Tonbridge. I find Tonbridge quite rough and wouldn’t want my teenagers wandering around there in the evening.

chopc · 25/03/2024 13:30

Sevenoaks school is like a university. Your child needs to be a self starter and a go getter and make use of the numerous opportunities offered. A lot of current parents of non high fliers are disappointed by this realisation- including myself.

serguei73 · 19/01/2025 07:26

chopc · 05/06/2023 20:18

I have had one in each and to me Tonbridge wins hands down. Sevenoaks is great for a high achieving self starter but Tonbridge will really nurture your child into a well rounded person. The house system works brilliantly and the housemaster we had really cared about each of his students and took a special interest in them.
Sevenoaks is all about independence. The relationship is between the student and school and parents are not kept informed as such whereas at Tonbridge you get a weekly email about the going on that week and you hear about individual students in that house. I question the value added in Sevenoaks whereas in Tonbridge it is obvious.

The IB is also not for the faint hearted. Eg if your student struggles with languages , there is no escape at sixth form.

I have heard of bullying in both but neither of my students experienced it

Could you please tell me what house did your son go to? I am supposed to choose one for mine before march.

serguei73 · 25/02/2025 17:46

chopc · 05/06/2023 20:18

I have had one in each and to me Tonbridge wins hands down. Sevenoaks is great for a high achieving self starter but Tonbridge will really nurture your child into a well rounded person. The house system works brilliantly and the housemaster we had really cared about each of his students and took a special interest in them.
Sevenoaks is all about independence. The relationship is between the student and school and parents are not kept informed as such whereas at Tonbridge you get a weekly email about the going on that week and you hear about individual students in that house. I question the value added in Sevenoaks whereas in Tonbridge it is obvious.

The IB is also not for the faint hearted. Eg if your student struggles with languages , there is no escape at sixth form.

I have heard of bullying in both but neither of my students experienced it

My son has been admmitted to Tonbridge. Now he has to choose a boarding house. Could you tell me which one did your son go? How qas his experience?