I hope someone can help me.
Background
DD started secondary school in 2021 she started yr7 without issues (excellent grades, put in prize draw for good behaviour several times, lots of merits given and few referrals (detentions))
last stretch of yr7 her behaviour deteriorated at home and school lots of tears and tantrums, referrals and constant issues at school- she was referred to CHAMS by myself and put on a 2yr waiting list.
Fast forward to yr8 her behaviour was increasingly poor (NOT-violent- NOT-sexual) consisted of talking back to teachers, speaking to peers in class, her grades dropped significantly. Culminated in her doing something really silly at school (non-violent, non-sexual and not involving peers) school wanted to exclude and agreed not to based on in their words her “potential” a managed move was orchestrated where she moved to another school in the area.
Managed move went well at first but broke down due to severe bullying which led to a suicide attempt, I elected to home school, whilst seeking help for DD’s mental health. She was seen by Chams and began having interventions and based on her mental state I was advised by her nurse to consider mainstream school.
Issue
I applied for an in-year position and was rejected by a school that had places based on them saying she has “challenging behaviour” (apart from the incident which got her in trouble she had never had such a severe situation before and was always on time and attended 100%)
due to me homeschooling it wasn’t sent to the Fair Access Panel. I decided to then say I’m ending home education (I thought by applying for schools that would be clear, but needed to be officially done).
After that her case was sent to the fair access panel and she was allocated a place at another school.
I went for meetings with the Deputy Head who advised she had “gotten a place and would be starting fairly quickly” he seemed very unhappy at her joining the school and mentioned he had worked with the head of her original school for 6yrs and knew him quite well. He spoke to DD quite harshly warning her they would be hard on her and would be watching her, monitoring her friendships etc. (it did make me feel a bit uncomfortable but I thought maybe they thought it was best to keep her very monitored to get the best results), I was told to purchase uniform and given the list and told where the store was. I left and purchased the uniform that same afternoon.
I was asked to fill out the admissions paperwork; signed the school agreements, select a foreign language she is interested in, sign up for their cashless lunch system etc.
the next step was her going into the school to do assessments to ensure she was put in the correct classes and offered the necessary help if needed. I was told she would have to be in full school uniform for this, which she was has I had spent over £100 buying the logo’d uniform after being instructed to do so.
After the assessments her picture was taking and fingerprints for the lunch system and she met her head of years and a few class teachers.
She was told she would start the following Wednesday.
Fast Forward to that day she arrived at the appropriate time and reported to the school office and I received a call from the deputy head saying because of the strikes the administrative parts of her admission wasn’t handled and they would need a few more days, but she would start shortly and they are sorry for the inconvenience.
After two weeks I had heard nothing and decided to send an email.
The day after I received an email with a letter attached saying “your child wasn’t offered a place by the school it was done by the Fair Access Panel and we are currently disputing whether this was done according to protocol” (This comes 3 months after she was offered the place).
My question is why wait three months to dispute this? What changed between us being told to buy uniform and attending the assessment? They had her full report when I went to have the meeting with the deputy, knew about the incident that triggered the managed move, knew her history with CHAMS etc.
Why would they tell her that she had a place knowing her mental health is fragile and then lie to me saying it was an administrative issue allocating the classes when they knew they were appealing the decision?
She is a child with great potential but has missed the vast majority of yr8 so I know she must be behind so I’m wondering if after the assessment they decided she wasn’t at their standard?
I’m so afraid her mental health will be affected by this and I am now watching her like a hawk.
Please help me, what can I do? Do I get to see the schools reasoning behind this 180 and does myself or my child get a say in the matter? If they are forced to accept her how will she feel knowing she was unwanted by the school (I made the poor decision of letting her know I received and email and read it with her present).