Eton College Weekend Activities

[FullofPossibilities]

Hi all, I would like to tap into the experiences of current Eton parents on the weekend program in Eton. I asked the tour guide during our visit and he seems to suggest that it's not particularly organized/ time-tabled by the school, unlike some other full boarding schools, which have all the whole year group weekend activities/ outings arranged & scheduled for pupils. It seems that the boys will arrange their own schedule and pick and do sports/ clubs/activities they like, is that the case? Also during weekdays, will there be a specific time assigned for prep and bedtime? Many thanks, any advice and experience with Eton will be gratefully received.

Eton parents will be better positioned to advise but we also held an offer from Eton so had a good look around at the time.

The ‘weekend off’ is much shorter than you might think, as it only starts after sports on Saturday and that is the only time boys can really decompress so it’s not a bad thing to leave it free completely. There’s also chapel on Sunday.

Prep is in own rooms during set times but difficult to supervise due to singles.

Thank you very much Nowand4ever.

Not only is there chapel on Sundays but Sunday lunch at 1.30pm as well. Houses will differ in what they organise for Saturday nights eg. putting a film on for F block, that kind of thing, but it's prime time for rehearsals, house concerts, house plays, socials, etc. The boys are busy!

There is an expectation of independence to be a self-starter and get on with their prep in their rooms in quiet hour before dinner and get it finished off on time or bear the consequences. Very different to other schools with supervised prep for younger boys so a boy with an Eton place should use "G and H block" years to get used to organising themselves completely so they're ready by the time they arrive in F block. Bedtime again differs for different blocks, F block is 9.30pm for example with devices handed in and locked away. Later for the older blocks.

That's really useful! Many thanks, Xiaoxiong. Can the boys have floater weekends and go home on Saturday night occasionally? Are parents welcome to watch their matches? Thanks

And how do you find pastoral care in general, please?

You will rarely hear negative views on MN about Eton @FullofPossibilities. Anyone who’s tried before had been viciously attacked by protective tiger MN mums 😂

Yes parents are very welcome to attend matches - the difficulty mainly seems to be figuring out when and where they're happening but parents and their dogs line the pitches for matches to see their sons.

There are 4 short leaves a year where the school closes completely (exeats) and also B weekends where boys can come home on Saturday night, need to be back at 6.15pm on Sunday for absence. Senior boys get more of these I think and of course you can always ask housemasters if there's any flexibility for special arrangements for eg. a family event, a landmark birthday etc.

Pastoral care - I have always found it to be excellent given the fact that it is a very big full boarding school that expects a high level of independence and get up and go from the boys, and that everyone is madly busy at all times eg. the housemaster or dame is not going to be able to respond to my every email or pick up the phone at all times, or tell me down to the minute how much GCSE revision my son has been doing, the HM has 50 other boys to look after and is teaching a 50% timetable as well. However, I do like the way they take a huge school and break it down into smaller groups, 50 boys in a house, 10 boys in a block, 6 boys in a tutor group etc. plus co-curricular points of contact, theatre, music, sport etc who see boys in other settings or contexts to see how he is. So a boy has multiple points of pastoral contact daily and the Stephenson Centre is absolutely invaluable as a resource. (I have a friend who is on an 8+ month waiting list for multiple private therapists for her daughter, whereas boys can be seen pretty much immediately through school with or without a referral).

I know some parents are driven crazy by the fact that it is full boarding and they are giving up control or they don't have as much daily communication as they would have if he was at a day school and they see him every evening. But if you choose a full boarding school that's what you're going to get and I don't understand parents who choose Eton and then get angry about their son not calling them every night, or trying to micromanage their academics from afar. Eton is not for everyone, other schools are available and full boarding will definitely not suit every family. And most parents seem to be at school every 5 minutes anyway with plays, concerts, sports, dropping off or picking up for weekends, etc.

@Nowand4ever What is a negative for some is a positive for others and that's why it's good to have choices. It's the right school for my son at the moment and for him, it's streets ahead of any alternative by a mile. That's not to say I wouldn't pull him out if that changes in future. I went to a top Ivy League university that wasn't all it was cracked up to be and I wouldn't lose any sleep if my kids didn't go to the same one for undergrad, I feel the same way about Eton or any school for that matter. The only poster on here I know who fits your description is peteneras and I don't agree with her on many things...

Ah no one mentioned the sweets and fizzy drinks mass shop from Budgens and the cheeky smoke in the church graveyard?!!

One benefit of all the independent study detailed above@FullofPossibilities , is that once they get to university they find managing their work a breeze - in contrast to fellow students flailing about in despair because they’re not used to being expected to get on with things by themselves.

It’s really interesting to watch ex pupils develop the skills that were nurtured at school.

I wouldn’t worry about their weekends. Between ambling around Windsor, being taken out by their tutors, sports, rehearsals, etc, and the Saturday night pizza delivery, they do manage to have a lot of fun. (And they’re at home so often …)

Great to have two posters specialising in italics and finishing with …. couldn’t resist, now I’m the third …

Also please ignore all the negative boarding comments on AIBU at the moment. Utter hyperbole! A good boarding school where you can participate as a parent is a truly wonderful school. Some DC are just right for boarding. My DDs were utterly self sufficient after boarding. Other parents need to know minutae every evening and think this means they love DC more. Very very odd position to take.

I am a former boarder and I would consider locking up a teenage boy with his parents between the ages 13-18 a torture and a bore for the child😇

It is true that as a parent I would love to have my energetic silly teenager around all the time. I just don’t want to take and monopolise all those crazy and fantastic years of self discovery from him!

Boarding may not be for everyone, but I would argue that in this day and age the majority of teenagers would have a better time boarding with mates, than locking themselves into their rooms in the afternoons with beloved screens.

Eton parents on this board are typically very feisty and protective @Xiaoxiong not just peterneas. Most of the rest of us are not interested in verbal judo and endless repeats of the same so we just yawn.

For example, I have serious doubts about pastoral care or just simple kindness at E mostly due to its set-up: size xxl, singles, central dining, competitive anxiety, etc

I am fairly sure I will be roasted and ridiculed for this before the sun sets as the E crowd gets around yet I am also fairly convinced based on what I am hearing from friends whose boys went there so let’s have it

Still better than sitting at home with two controlling middle aged helicopter parents though!🙃

in contrast to fellow students flailing about in despair because they’re not used to being expected to get on with things by themselves.

if that’s what you want from a school you should have saved your cash and gone state 😂

Can you read, @Ffffruit ?

Yes, and you @CapaciousHag ?

I have three good friends whose sons all suffered vile bullying at Eton in recent years, one left and the other two stayed. Like a lot of boarding schools, the parents do their best to cover it up. I sent my eldest to boarding school aged 13, I bitterly regret it.

Nowand4ever, how completely bizarre that you would see children at day school as being locked up with their parents. My younger children who went to day school had infinitely more freedom than their sibling at a leading boarding school.

OP I gather you don’t have a teen yet?

Even getting them out of bed on a Sunday tends to be a struggle. This lot have Saturday school, afternoon sports, Sunday morning chapel and a lunch put on. Maybe some go back to bed?! Teens also need some down time. Boarding friendships are really important! It is what makes the experience… (hehe)

You missed the point completely, maybe intentionally. Bye 🙋

Well, I won't discuss any further @Nowand4ever as I don't want you roasted or ridiculed!

I would just point out for the record if people stumble across this thread in future that your understanding of the set up is not quite right eg. only half the houses have central dining, the other half are eat-in, family style - with other beaks, tutors, chaplains, even the housemaster and dame's families eating together with the boys. And there are pros and cons to both a catering house and a Bekynton house.

@FullofPossibilities you may want to repost on the Boarding Schools board if you don't want the rights and wrongs of boarding as a concept to derail your thread asking about weekend activities.

Posters won’t leave boarding threads, of any type alone. They will accuse posters of child abuse. It makes no difference where you post. Boarding parents are not supported! When my DDs boarded they got down time and lots of activities too. DD1 did do many (12) her HM suggested she reduced the number at y11. She did. To 10 - after much angst! A busy interested child likes variety. I do agree being busy is better than never getting away from gaming in their rooms all night as DN does.

That’s true @TizerorFizz have you thought about where that comes from or why that may be?

@Nowand4ever I guess some people don’t like the idea of boarding schools! What do you think?

Mostly rubbish is posted about DC being abandoned for months on end. Then the idea that they leave school as babied toffs. Then the argument that you only love DC if you demonstrate it every day by chatting to them, cooking them tea and doing their washing and their homework. You must also travel miles to take Dc to every out of school activity snd tutoring or Dc misses out. Plus, of course, non boarding Dc are universally loving, let their feelings be known at all times (well into adulthood) whilst boarding Dc are buttoned up stiffs. Non boarding DC are always well adjusted, and can cook dinner for all at 12 whilst the Molly-coddled unloved boarder is only able to order a delivered pizza. Therefore incapable at university. Plus a day parent is fully invested in choosing every university course their DC should look at and then take them to 10 open days. Boarding parents are therefore negligent if they don’t do this. Plus data showing boarding pupils are all damaged in adult life. So, basically, it’s just putting down boarding parents and boarder because they come out incapable of loving anyone. Some of the things said though are unbelievable! Plus untrue. But don’t let that stop the rhetoric! I just don’t see why folk cannot make choices that suit their families.