First parents’ evening - and it’s virtual

[OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide]

First parents’ evening for year 7 DD. We get 2 minutes per teacher. DD going though ADHD assessment currently and transition hasn’t been smooth. Have not had any meetings with school, just a couple of phone calls with tutor and SENCO. Haven’t met any of her subject teachers.

So I’m wondering what questions we should prioritise in these 2 minutes.

Don't use parents evening for these issues. It isn't long enough. Ring or email and ask if you can come in and meet with SENCO.

They probably won't give you a chance to talk, it'll be a quick run down on behaviour, something positive and something to improve on.

A standard parents' evening isn't the right time to have a detailed discussion about ongoing large issues. One benefit of virtual evenings is not watching a queue of parents back up as one parent is almost 10 minutes into a long explanation about something that's too big for one subject teacher to deal with.

You want to speak to the SENCO and have a proper meeting or call booked to discuss the ADHD assessment and transition.

Use the parents' evening to hear a quick update and some targets from the subject teachers.

We have online parents evenings too and they’re brilliant in comparison to the chaos of the past face to face ones - but we get 5 minutes. I don’t think you’ll be able to ask anything in that time, it will just be a case of listening. As a pp said I’d suggest making a separate appointment with SENCO to discuss things in more detail.

I don’t expect a discussion about the ADHD.

My concerns are predominantly around her being in a very mixed ability class with no setting. She left primary doing basic GCSE maths - she doesn’t seem to be challenged by what they’re doing in class and says she often finishes the work early and then helps other people with it. I didn’t expect them to keep up the pace of primary school but this would appear to be basically parking her until everyone else catches up?

She’s very affected by the teachers shouting at the disruptive pupils in the class. It seems not to be working so I’m not sure how to address that.

She has her (private) ADHD assessments this month (is in the 4 year queue for NHS assessment but that is too long to wait if she needs help now).

Once that has concluded I will of course contact the SENCO, who did the NHS referral and is waiting for the outcome of the private one.

For those sorts of talks u need to book a separate appointment, parents evening is just a quick chat, hence y they do it online do people don’t take over their time.

Sounds utterly pointless.

I'm a fan of online parents' evening, as the face to face ones used to be chaos with so many parents and teachers. But 2 mins seems very short! Ours are 5 mins (which is the same as the F2F ones used to be).

We had a 5 min video call with her class tutor in October, and that felt very hurried.

2 mins feels like a token effort rather than anything meaningful. The school’s comms have been completely lacking. I can only hope that they raise any significant issues because there is absolutely no way we could know if anything was going on otherwise.

It’s much better than in person and you see more people. You can’t ask your type of questions of every teacher you see and if you were the parent in the queue speaking to the maths teacher (who for one of mine had given all the appointments out one year in an in-person event, so we never saw them anyway ), you’ll be taking up 2-3 appointment slots and holding everyone up. Much better to contact the head of house/year - whatever the school have and have a separate conversation . They are usually excellent, listen, speak to your child if necessary , arrange for the pastoral team to pick them up and liaise with the right teachers. Much more joined up than you speaking to 7 subject teachers on a busy evening.

2 minutes is ridiculous. We have 5 and that is about right.

I echo the other comments. Parents Evening is not the time for discussing these issues. You need to contact the SENCO for a meeting, and specific teachers or department heads for more detail. The tutor is a useful first point of contact.

Ours are 5 minutes - it’s useful to touch base with parents and to let them know the basics of where their kid is at. It is not enough time to discuss issues or problems - these are either raised at Parents Evening and followed up later or (ideally) raised before Parents Evening so that you can discuss how these things are going at the event itself.

A general rule is that nothing discussed at Parents Evening should be a surprise (or shock!) for either party.

To be clear, I mentioned the ADHD thing for context. I’m not proposing to have conversations about that. We’re weeks away from the assessment being complete and I already have connection with the SENCO.

2 minutes seems very short. 5 minutes would be standard ime.

Virtual for secondary should work well. Even in person it needs to stick to timings - DD's secondary had a bell ring after 4 min yes to remind you to wind up, then at 5 minutes to signal time to move on. No one could linger linger. Least virtual means it's easier to sort!

However, if you need to discuss further issues beyond listening to the teacher give a view of their current learning and progress you really need to book additional time, normally on a different date. It's really can't be covered in a general parents evening session. You'd be better speaking with the SENCo or year group lead I think.

They won't change whether they set or jot because you ask them to. But you can ask for and expect extension work. She finishes quickly - does she also finish in a rush, possibly needing to to back and look over her answers? (Tricky with ADHD). Some schools will set after the first year.
They are also not going to not raise their voices with disruptive pupils because you ask.

Ive done face to face, pre covid, and online parents evenings for ds and the virtual ones were worse than useless. A massive waste of everyones time. The face to face ones were much better, very helpful and informative.

Ours online were 4 mins and they were ridiculously short and we were abruptly cut off mid sentence in each one, 2 minute sessions are a piss take, the school should just email the parents and say we have no interest in talking to you all so we are not going to bother.

Our school gave these annual parents information evenings where they emphasised how important it is for parents to take an active interest in and support their childs education and how it benefits the child and the school blah blah blah. Then essentially remove the one single day a year you get to actually discuss your childs progress with their teachers and ask for advice. Ridiculous and there is no excuse for schools doing this. Rant over.

In your situation though I would contact the school and ask for the appointment(s) you need.

I would email the teacher separately, either asking your question or asking for a phone call if you feel that’s needed. Most teachers are happy to give you ten minutes, and welcome engaged parents, but a parents evening slot isn’t the right time.

The virtual system is so much better than the old waiting in line for the teacher days. Don’t use it to raise anything outside the remit though, ask for sep meeting/teacher email

I think 2 mins will be tight...

However I would think about your priorities... so you seem to suggest maths is an issue... email the maths teacher - school with have a generic address and your daughter will be abke to provide teachers name - outline that you are concerned she's not being pushed and could they address that with you at parents evening. Keep it brief.

If you have similar concerns in English do the same there. Beyond that I woukd sit back and listen very carefully to what is said. By now these teachers should know your child and what their strengths/weaknesses are. Certainly in key subjects. (Perhaps not in subjects under rotation - design areas perhaps?).

Use that as a starting point to book an appointment with her tutor. They are the pastoral starting point at secondary - they should be able to address wider concerns beyond the 2 minute update and be part of the ongoing conversation.

The SENDCO is also a good resource. Clearly they already have a measure of your child by making these referrals. They are your key point of contact going forward... bit I'd hang off until you have the specialists report as that will open doors.

I know it's frustrating... and feels like your daughter has lost the year. But she will shine.

We get 4 min. Plenty.
Don't ask questions.
Just listen carefully to the two mins.
Note key comments re 'Focus' and progress.
Then use this to book a mtg re ADHD and support.
Our DD has ADHD

@OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide virtual parents evenings are very normal. Two minutes is unusually short, but better than nothing. If you want a detailed chat, ask for it at another time. But when you write to the school, be polite and thankful, even if you don't feel it - teachers are up against it at the moment and sensitive to rude, demanding or over-entitled parents expecting more than teachers are reasonably able to give. Try to stay in their good books by offering praise as well as constructive feedback.

2 minutes sounds ridiculous.
We have ten minutes which is long enough if there is an issue and if everything is great you can finish a bit earlier.

I’m never rude or over-entitled. It’s my responsibility to ensure that DD gets a good education. Going from small, community school with open door policy to comp has been an adjustment for most of the other parents in her cohort - school tell us nothing.

Her best friend goes to a different school which appears to be much more on the ball with parent comms.

DD’s school isn’t English medium. I can’t speak the language well enough to always gauge from her books how she’s doing. This is the case for more than 80% of parents at the school so the apparent lack of comms around progress is probably more concerning than in other schools.

I will say that their pastoral care has been excellent. I have a good relationship with the SENCO after 2 phone calls and a couple of emails and think that they will be keen to support DD with whatever the ADHD assessment throws out. DD is incredibly bright but needs her interest kept. Discussions with her don’t indicate any stretching work is being given.

I’ve been told they don’t set until year 9…….. no idea if that is true or not so was going to ask tonight. That’s not unreasonable, is it?

No evidence in her books of rushing and making mistakes. She says there are children that really struggle with the maths so she ends up helping
them because she finds it so easy. She was considered G+T at primary in maths and science which is why it worries me that she may end up with 2 years of lower level work and completely losing interest. (I won’t let that happen and will get her tutoring if needed.)