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Secondary education

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Should i change from a all girl school to coed school in mid year 10?

8 replies

ChrunchieMunchie · 02/05/2023 01:32

Should I change from an all girl school to co ed school? I’m currently in year 10 and would be moving next term (term 3 mid year 10), i feel i don’t really belong at my school, i get along with lots of people but i don’t really have a friendship group and no best best friend, i play a lot of sports for school like AFL, cross country, Touch football and i'm always the loner with no friends in those teams and i thought maybe it could be different at this new school. I feel I'm missing out on the normal high school experience (crushes, guyfriends etc), which i really want. I really want to change schools but I’m a bit introverted and because I've been at an all girl school so long I lack the skills to talk to boys and am scared i might not fit in at a new school because everyone will already know eachother well. I think going to a coed school will help my social skills like with boys but i don't know what if it doesn't work and i'm even more alone. I do a lot of 'boyish things like cadets, i play afl (Australian football league) and i ride a dirtbike which could help me get friends but im introverted and what if i don't fit in there as well? This new school offers lots of sports just not as much and a all year round running club which looks good to join and it's much closer to home, i live very far away from my current all girl school. My academic marks might drop as well because different school different systems but I think I'll mange with that it's mainly just the friends and people I'm worried about. What should i do? Any advice?

OP posts:
Lillith111 · 02/05/2023 02:52

I know a lot of girls who have been to single sex schools and still come out with great social skills with boys. What’s the context here? Had a space suddenly become available at a co-Ed or do your parents want you to move for academics? I don’t think this is maybe the website for you to ask. You could try the student room? I think without knowing other factors it’s hard to answer. There’s a lot of things that can cause one to struggle or flourish at a school single sex or no. I think some girls perform better in that environment whereas others do better in coed

DPotter · 02/05/2023 03:06

I'm sorry you feel very alone in your current school.

I'm not sure of the Australian school system so I don't know roughly how old you are, when you might be having major exams etc - so my advice is pretty general. However moving mid year is never a good idea unless absolutely necessary, eg parents moving work 100s of miles, bullying. Changing courses & curriculum is always trickier than you think - if nothing else you'll be busy catching up with the school work rather than have time for making new friends.

Breaking into friendships groups will be tricky too mid year - so again I wouldn't recommend it, unless you're being bullied.

You seem to be quite conflicted about a move - understandably so. Is there any one you can talk too - head of year, school counsellor, your parents, a favourite aunt ? You'll need to talk to your parents at some point - so earlier is better than later. It is possible you don't have the freedom to move schools even if you wanted to - just to warn you.

Making friends comes easier to some people and it can be difficult if you're a quiet one. Have you noticed how little kids play together - they will either play alongside and just plain join in or they will say can I play with you ? You say you get along with people which is great so ask one or two girls to join you in going for a coffee (others drinks are acceptable) after school, and take it from there. Approach other quiet people to start with - they may well be feeling just like you and waiting for someone else to move the first move

Not being a sporty one myself, I don't know the dynamics of sports teams. I joined the drama club at school, which is a great way to work on being shy about approaching people, because you're pretending to be someone else. I also sang in the choir. I get these may not be things you're interested in, but to take your acquaintances further you'll need to take a deep breath and step forward and make the contact - just like 3-4 yr old asking to play

By the way - you talk to boys the same way as you talk to girls and if you're feeling uncomfortable talking to the girls at your current school, it could be just the same in a new school, trying to talk to the boys. Basically don't change schools just to get to talk to boys! I know you want to meet boys and that's fine but it's really not worth throwing away your current school work and the loose friendships you actually have for the possibility of chatting to a few boys and then having loads of catch up work to do.

There's lots of research that shows girls do much better in single sex schools - for all sorts of reasons. It sounds from what you've said in your OP that you are having the "normal high school experience" - being a teenager is a time of change and finding your own feet, you own path and it can be really unsettling. You want to meet up with boys, don't want your parents to control you so much and you would like close BFF relationships, but it's difficult to navigate. This is absolutely normal!!!

Don't believe people who says your school days are the best days of your life - load of tosh.

I'm in the UK so I'm off to bed now, but I hope I've reassured you a bit. Please talk with a parent or teacher about how you're feeling

Zuyi · 02/05/2023 03:49

Could you try more community sports? Join your local football club, for example, or even a new sport. Then you get a chance to meet people who live near you without the drastic school change.

I agree with the previous poster, better to change at the start of year 11 if possible. There will be other new people, it'll be easier then.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 02/05/2023 03:58

if you are not happy move as long as it doesn’t affect your exams. I had friends who went to an all girls school and think it really affected their ability to interact properly with boys. They felt isolated from other girls as didn’t quite fit the mould. There are different pressures in a mixed sex school but I had loads of lovely friends that were boys who made me laugh, it’s a different dynamic. Still don’t like all female groups in middle age.

bd67thSaysReinstateLangCleg · 02/05/2023 04:35

Do not change to a coed school. Two words: sexual assault. Enough school boys are shit to girls to make your life a misery.

TeenDivided · 02/05/2023 07:16

If you were in England I'd say definitely don't move mid y10 as you'd be well into the 2 year GCSE exam period. I'd say move for '6th form' which is y12&y13.

Without understanding the Aus exam system I can't say for you.

ChrunchieMunchie · 02/05/2023 23:18

thank you all for the responses!!
just to give a bit of a run down of the austrlian system, i'm in year 10 now my 3rd last year of school before university. Year 11 and 12 is the where it really counts and where i start getting ATAR points (basically the higher you get the higher chance you have of getting what you what in uni). so by moving mid year 10 i would getting used to the school system, how exams and things work where everything is and i would hopefully know many people which could all be distracting in year 11 where it really counts for the ATAR points

OP posts:
DPotter · 03/05/2023 03:18

Still not the best idea to change schools so you can talk to boys. Sorry if that's seems boring.

There are valid reasons for wanting to change schools - parents moving house, bullying, new school does the subjects you want, but just to talk to boys - not even on the list.

If you want male company - find it outside of school - drama clubs, mixed sport clubs.

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