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Secondary education

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Original poster

Anyone else's dc year 11 have the added stress of a mental health disorder?

11 replies

Fineanddandy8 · 29/04/2023 19:36

My ds has a diagnosis of ocd. It was very severe and now sometimes manageable but very very hard sometimes to concentrate at school and my ds can't keep up with homework, sometimes we manage some revision if its a good day. He's under camhs and having weekly erp therapy which is tough. The psycplogist says his stress levels must be kept as minimal as possible as it will cause the ocd to go in overdrive. She's rang the school and told them it's not fair to punish for lack of homework.
I guess we will just have to hope he gets what he needs to go to college to do what he wants.
Without ocd he would do really well, it sometimes completely takes over his mind.
Sending love to all the dc who have this added stress.

OP posts:
TeenDivided · 30/04/2023 08:05

Hi. Mine (DD2) isn't y11, and in fact missed all y11 2 years ago due to MH.

I think you are right to be concerned.
How close to the line are they on grades needed for college?

How would the school react if as soon as exams start you pull your DS out and he only attends for exams? Would that help or hinder him?
Are there any subjects you could 'down tools' on because they either are already confident passes or they are failures anyway? Would that help or hinder?
Is the timetable spread out, or are there specific pinch points?

Can you build a structure around the remaining time with bursts of revision coupled with clear time for fresh air and relaxation? For DD1 quite a few years ago now she did revision in the mornings, took every afternoon off for a walk, then 90mins before our evening meal.

Is he on any meds such as a beta blocker? Would that help just for the next few weeks if not?

TeenDivided · 30/04/2023 08:06

Also, if aiming for a L3 BTEC, then actually consider starting at L2 and taking the extra year. That would give a year of 'easier' work which would allow more breathing space for therapy.

Original poster
Fineanddandy8 · 30/04/2023 09:15

TeenDivided · 30/04/2023 08:05

Hi. Mine (DD2) isn't y11, and in fact missed all y11 2 years ago due to MH.

I think you are right to be concerned.
How close to the line are they on grades needed for college?

How would the school react if as soon as exams start you pull your DS out and he only attends for exams? Would that help or hinder him?
Are there any subjects you could 'down tools' on because they either are already confident passes or they are failures anyway? Would that help or hinder?
Is the timetable spread out, or are there specific pinch points?

Can you build a structure around the remaining time with bursts of revision coupled with clear time for fresh air and relaxation? For DD1 quite a few years ago now she did revision in the mornings, took every afternoon off for a walk, then 90mins before our evening meal.

Is he on any meds such as a beta blocker? Would that help just for the next few weeks if not?

Thanks for your reply.
Yes my son has already decided that some subjects have to take a back seat at the moment. He wants to concentrate on Maths, English and the Sciences. The Geography teacher keeps giving him more time to hand it all these booklets he has to hand it but my son thinks it's a waste of his time.
He can revise in small bursts and I think that's what we will do.
My son is on Sertraline.
How is your son now?

OP posts:
Original poster
Fineanddandy8 · 30/04/2023 09:17

TeenDivided · 30/04/2023 08:06

Also, if aiming for a L3 BTEC, then actually consider starting at L2 and taking the extra year. That would give a year of 'easier' work which would allow more breathing space for therapy.

He's applied for A levels...that's the only thing he wants to do. He would be very capable if it wasn't for the ocd taking over. It could do it but he's borderline for Maths.

OP posts:
TeenDivided · 30/04/2023 09:21

My DD is y13 and doing a lot better than she was but a long way off where an 18yo should be. She is staying at college for a 3rd year to give her more recovery time.

I think you need to approach the next few weeks as you see fit, and if that means not doing revision work set by teachers then so be it.

Original poster
Fineanddandy8 · 30/04/2023 09:40

TeenDivided · 30/04/2023 09:21

My DD is y13 and doing a lot better than she was but a long way off where an 18yo should be. She is staying at college for a 3rd year to give her more recovery time.

I think you need to approach the next few weeks as you see fit, and if that means not doing revision work set by teachers then so be it.

Thank you and that's exactly what camhs have said and that's now my ds wants to approach it too. He said he can't deal with all the subjects so wants to prioritise.

OP posts:
Piony · 30/04/2023 11:36

Wishing you and your son well for the next few weeks. My anxious DD seems to be doing OK at the moment but she has friends who've been out of school for months.

I can't even compute all this revision guidance, the sheer volume seems light years away from what feels possible here. I just can't imagine how hard it must be for kids who have more, and bigger, barriers.

Postapocalypticcowgirl · 01/05/2023 11:24

This might be a bit of a nuclear option, and not what you want to go for, but if he just needs the best 5/6 subjects for college, if you have CAMHS support, the school could agree to withdraw him from the other exams, and to a part time timetable. This could allow him just to focus on English, Maths, and Science, and get the grades he needs for college.

What are his college asking for, for maths? Which other A-levels does he want to do? Could there be a back up plan to maths, if he doesn't make the grade- usually it's the subject that wants the highest grades?

If you speak to the college, you may also be able to gauge how flexible they are likely to be on results day.

HairyMaclary · 01/05/2023 11:33

I have a Y13, theoretically he’s academically very capable but totally overwhelmed (multiple diagnoses). He is doing what he can, most days that’s none, sometimes that’s 30 mins. Stress from school is not helping!

Original poster
Fineanddandy8 · 01/05/2023 11:43

Postapocalypticcowgirl · 01/05/2023 11:24

This might be a bit of a nuclear option, and not what you want to go for, but if he just needs the best 5/6 subjects for college, if you have CAMHS support, the school could agree to withdraw him from the other exams, and to a part time timetable. This could allow him just to focus on English, Maths, and Science, and get the grades he needs for college.

What are his college asking for, for maths? Which other A-levels does he want to do? Could there be a back up plan to maths, if he doesn't make the grade- usually it's the subject that wants the highest grades?

If you speak to the college, you may also be able to gauge how flexible they are likely to be on results day.

I think now he's so close, he will do them all bur as far as homework/revision goes some subjects will have to take a backseat for a while.
Camhs have emailed to say to back off and don't push for homework.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fineanddandy8 · 01/05/2023 11:44

Piony · 30/04/2023 11:36

Wishing you and your son well for the next few weeks. My anxious DD seems to be doing OK at the moment but she has friends who've been out of school for months.

I can't even compute all this revision guidance, the sheer volume seems light years away from what feels possible here. I just can't imagine how hard it must be for kids who have more, and bigger, barriers.

Good Luck to your DD!
I'm just going to be so proud for him to get through them.

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