Helping a child with homework and organisation

[LolaBaby75]

I have a year 7 boy with adhd. Looking for advice regarding homework as I'm spending a lot of time helping my son with organising, nagging him to do the work, etc. Am I doing him a disfavour for later? Does it get any easier?

Left to his own devices, He doesn't do any revision homework at all even though he stresses about repeating tests or getting a bad mark. He leaves four week projects all to the last minute. He doesnt read the task or open the attachments so he frequently rushes off doing the wrong thing. It feels like he manages only five minutes at a time/ a day before getting distracted.

He is predicted 9 grades but because he does the minimum he is not getting those grades in his reports. I don't mind if he just achieves passes in the end but I'm just worried about his stress levels.

With my other neurotypical child I wouldn't dream of interferring or helping in any way with their homework!

you are doing the right thing keep going, it will be worth it in the end. Try to avoid a tone of voice that you yourself are interpreting as a "nag" - just be calm and factual - you need to open this,- read your instructions out to me- what is the first/second/third step to completing this work, etc

with adhd he is going to need a lot of support to acheive his potential at school.

Dont punish him for having adhd, but try tracking his behaviour - today your concentration was 5/10, 8/10 etc. It helps with brain training, but it is unfair to punish. obviously, keep an eye on this, as you don't want him to get discouraged, but you do want him to feel proud of himself if he gets 8/10. 9/10 etc

Tracking behaviour is an interesting idea. Thanks

We have set up a desk without distractions but it is amazing what distractions can still be found! Getting him to said desk can also be difficult but we are trying to get into a routine of going there every day. The routine is not exactly established yet!

It does feels like the right thing to provide support for him but I haven't seen any signs of my strategies of how to approach homework / time management / revision - sinking in at all. Maybe it is early days?

You are right I need to watch my tone as sometimes my frustration does show....

My DD1 has dyspraxia and with it came distractability and inability to organise.

She needed way more scaffolding than others of a similar age, and I helped her all the way through secondary. Revision for GCSEs I helped her timetable and I did a lot of it 1-1 with her too.

When new homework comes in if it isn't 'do it in one go' then help him break it into parts with sub goals and to schedule when he will do it. He can decide the when but then has to stick with it.

He may be better with you beside him or near him when doing homework.

We have a similar issue. I help to schedule time for homework, break it down, talk it through if needed.

I suggest ways to revise, including use of specialist apps, bbc bite size, going over work, homework & revision guides - in theory to stop it getting boring.

My theory is that I get him to think about it and he will eventually be able to do this without my input, but we're a long way off.

Interestingly it got easier in y10 when they stopped having project homeworks and started having more straightforward tasks.

He has got the best possible advantage in having such a committed mum. He is very lucky. I am sure he will do well in the end. It s a long hard slog for you both though

Until she got into the habit herself, I would remind my DD every day to study and do homework. A bit of nagging early on helped her to get into good habits and now she doesn't need to be nagged.

My partner has ADHD and went back to college last year. What worked for him was lists, lots of lists to tell him what he needed to do and when. And playing classical music while he did homework/studied helped limit other distractions. And being in the basement where no one else was around to distract him - does your son have a peaceful place to study?

I'm reading through all threse replies and they are so helpful - thank you! They also make me feel less alone!

We have set up a desk away from distractions but I have difficulty convincing him to go there - tearing him away from the telly or a comic. And once there, he still gets distracted- eg by changing settings on the computer, changing font colours, zooming in and out of the document he's working on etc.

We give him snacks and he can listen to music which seem to help a little but still hard work!

I guess there are two issues - convincing him to work and then starting on task. I guess I struggle the most with convincing him to do the work now and not 'later'. The times I back off - he simply doesnt get around to doing the work. His time management is poor in other areas of his life too.

This gives me hope! It is the open ended projects that require a bit of planning and time management that are the problem. A maths homework with a set of questions gets done no problem.

Definitely lists are a good idea. What also helps my DS (now yr 8) is if I can be nearby doing something else. I can (sometimes) get my own work done but just the fact that he can see me working/ keeping a eye on him seems to help him notice and refocus when he gets distracted. Whereas if I leave the room, practically no chance! He has also improved a lot in the past year so hopefully your DS will get there too, hang on in there.

This is a really useful and interesting thread!

I know! I am so glad I started the thread - I don't know what I expected but it has been really helpful to me!