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Secondary education

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Original poster

I KNOW I am being unreasonable but it still stinks

56 replies

TheOrigRights · 21/04/2023 14:44

My son (like most) will be on strike day 5 come the end of April.
I fully support the teachers.
He has had 4 days off sick since September.

My request to take him out of school one day next week to attend a wedding has been declined. I understand that attendance and strike action are completely unrelated, but it does leave me with a slight bitter taste in my mouth to have the importance of attendance explained to me and the impact on his education.

I think they could have just refused the application according to rule bla bla without giving me a lecture.

Just needed to get that off my chest.

OP posts:
Testina · 22/04/2023 21:15

Your complaint makes no sense to me because the missed strike days just make it all the more important that he doesn’t miss more school.

I don’t understand why people on MN get so het up taking standard letters personally.

Twiglets1 · 22/04/2023 21:20

Next time call in sickness and then it is authorised absence.
Easier for everyone tbh.

Lunaloonytunes · 22/04/2023 21:29

LucifersLight · 22/04/2023 13:46

YANBU they are hypocrites.

Teachers who strike should be fined just as parents are fined. Or neither should be fined.

You’re not paid for a strike day so you are fined.

Original poster
TheOrigRights · 22/04/2023 21:44

Testina · 22/04/2023 21:15

Your complaint makes no sense to me because the missed strike days just make it all the more important that he doesn’t miss more school.

I don’t understand why people on MN get so het up taking standard letters personally.

I didn't take it personally. I know that someone didn't sit down and write a specific response just to me. I am just venting.

I do value my son's educated. He is taking one unauthorised day off. There will have been 6 or so strike days come the end of this academic year.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheOrigRights · 22/04/2023 21:45

Twiglets1 · 22/04/2023 21:20

Next time call in sickness and then it is authorised absence.
Easier for everyone tbh.

I don't want to lie. The school were very supportive when my son struggled both during and after lockdown.
I definitely don't want to lie in this instance (strike, "sick", w/e, w/e, BH, strike).
It looks suspicious.

OP posts:
Twiglets1 · 22/04/2023 21:48

TheOrigRights · 22/04/2023 21:45

I don't want to lie. The school were very supportive when my son struggled both during and after lockdown.
I definitely don't want to lie in this instance (strike, "sick", w/e, w/e, BH, strike).
It looks suspicious.

Show quote history

It's easier for the school too if you lie since too many unauthorised absences makes them look bad to Ofsted etc.

And it really doesn't matter if things look suspicious, no one is going to accuse you of lying.

Testina · 22/04/2023 21:50

“I didn't take it personally. I know that someone didn't sit down and write a specific response just to me. I am just venting.”

But that’s what I don’t get… why would you feel the need to vent, unless you’ve taken it personally?

Original poster
TheOrigRights · 22/04/2023 21:54

Testina · 22/04/2023 21:50

“I didn't take it personally. I know that someone didn't sit down and write a specific response just to me. I am just venting.”

But that’s what I don’t get… why would you feel the need to vent, unless you’ve taken it personally?

Err, maybe it's semantics...I know the letter was not penned to me personally, it's a stock letter.
I am taking it personally in that it was sent to me.
Ok - yes I am making no sense. I guess anything that happens to me is personal so yes I did take it personally.
Is that an unusual reaction - to acknowledge that I know I'm being unreasonable but to still have feelings?

OP posts:
Maximo2 · 22/04/2023 21:54

LucifersLight · 22/04/2023 13:46

YANBU they are hypocrites.

Teachers who strike should be fined just as parents are fined. Or neither should be fined.

They are fined a day’s pay! How do you not know this?!

Original poster
TheOrigRights · 22/04/2023 21:56

Twiglets1 · 22/04/2023 21:48

It's easier for the school too if you lie since too many unauthorised absences makes them look bad to Ofsted etc.

And it really doesn't matter if things look suspicious, no one is going to accuse you of lying.

Show quote history

Maybe. It also doesn't sit well with how I want my son to see me behave. I don't want to tell him not to tell people 'he pulled a sickie', neither do I want him to tell others.
I won't get fined.

OP posts:
Twiglets1 · 22/04/2023 22:03

TheOrigRights · 22/04/2023 21:56

Maybe. It also doesn't sit well with how I want my son to see me behave. I don't want to tell him not to tell people 'he pulled a sickie', neither do I want him to tell others.
I won't get fined.

Show quote history

Fair enough.

Loads of parents lie at the school I work at re sickies but we normally find out because the kids tell us anyway all innocent about the wedding they attended or holiday they went on when they were supposed to be ill.

No one really cares, it's just school rules the school has to be seen to be refusing days off in term time.

LondonHOPDad · 22/04/2023 22:34

TheOrigRights · 22/04/2023 21:54

Err, maybe it's semantics...I know the letter was not penned to me personally, it's a stock letter.
I am taking it personally in that it was sent to me.
Ok - yes I am making no sense. I guess anything that happens to me is personal so yes I did take it personally.
Is that an unusual reaction - to acknowledge that I know I'm being unreasonable but to still have feelings?

Show quote history

Don't worry, most people will understand why you find it annoying!

Vent away, we all need to sometimes!

Fireyflies · 22/04/2023 22:46

I think you're confusing. "The leave cannot be authorised" with "You cannot take him to the wedding," You can take him. The worst they can do is a small fine. It's not a criminal record, and your son needn't even know about it. It won't be brought up in class. You can be honest with the school and with him that you're taking a single day out because it's important.

Rant46892 · 22/04/2023 23:00

The purpose is those parents who don’t care about their children’s education. As a solicitor I was involved in prosecuting for non school attendance.

Most parents see education as a good thing. Or if not good then school attendance just what you have to do. Lots of parents with children who are refusing to attend and parents working hard with the school to work out reasons. Illness of children can mean very low attendance- i never saw those parents on the legal side.

There were and I presume are parents who aren’t bothered.

I was prosecuting a parent who said she couldn’t persuade her 7 year old (no SEN) to attend. That they were never told the importance. That’s the point when I listed the 15 letters they had received from the school. Most had attended of between 40-60%.

Original poster
TheOrigRights · 23/04/2023 00:47

Fireyflies · 22/04/2023 22:46

I think you're confusing. "The leave cannot be authorised" with "You cannot take him to the wedding," You can take him. The worst they can do is a small fine. It's not a criminal record, and your son needn't even know about it. It won't be brought up in class. You can be honest with the school and with him that you're taking a single day out because it's important.

Yes, I acknowledged up thread that I could have just informed them I was taking him out, told them I knew it would be unauthorised and promised to send them a lovely photo of DS looking super smart in a suit left it at that.

They won't fine me (that's kicks in after 4 days of unauthorised absence).

OP posts:
Iamnotanugget · 23/04/2023 09:21

Imagine the teacher is covering numbers this week and plans like this

Monday 1 2 3 4
Tuesday 5 6 7 8
Wednesday 9 10 11 12
Thursday 13 14 15 16
Friday 17 18 19 20

Then they get told there will be a strike on Tuesday so they rearrange like this

Monday 1 2 3 4 5
Tuesday
Wednesday 6 7 8 9 10
Thursday 11 12 13 14 15
Friday 16 17 18 19 20

If you're child goes sick one day they will miss education, they will not through a strike day. What they will miss out on is some of the fun, extra curricular stuff that teachers do so they can fit all it all in.

I do take my DC out when I think it's right to, and others don't agree as I've taken them out for holidays etc so I'm not suggesting you don't, just that you doing it has nothing to do with the strikes, that I fully support

I'm not a teacher btw

Twiglets1 · 23/04/2023 09:32

Iamnotanugget · 23/04/2023 09:21

Imagine the teacher is covering numbers this week and plans like this

Monday 1 2 3 4
Tuesday 5 6 7 8
Wednesday 9 10 11 12
Thursday 13 14 15 16
Friday 17 18 19 20

Then they get told there will be a strike on Tuesday so they rearrange like this

Monday 1 2 3 4 5
Tuesday
Wednesday 6 7 8 9 10
Thursday 11 12 13 14 15
Friday 16 17 18 19 20

If you're child goes sick one day they will miss education, they will not through a strike day. What they will miss out on is some of the fun, extra curricular stuff that teachers do so they can fit all it all in.

I do take my DC out when I think it's right to, and others don't agree as I've taken them out for holidays etc so I'm not suggesting you don't, just that you doing it has nothing to do with the strikes, that I fully support

I'm not a teacher btw

Exactly...as a parent you just have to use your common sense. Don't take them out of school very often because they may miss something that day which will take them a while to catch up on.
But they can miss the occasional day if it's for a very good reason.
Nothing to do with the strikes, they won't miss anything on strike days.

Original poster
TheOrigRights · 23/04/2023 10:54

I do take my DC out when I think it's right to, and others don't agree as I've taken them out for holidays etc so I'm not suggesting you don't, just that you doing it has nothing to do with the strikes, that I fully support

I've said right from from the start that I know attendance policy and strike policy are entirely separate and that I support the strikes. I'm not sure what you are trying to explain to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheOrigRights · 23/04/2023 10:55

The whole cohort misses out on strike days. They do impact education. The curriculum still has to be covered.

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 23/04/2023 11:03

Please email your MP asking that they forward your request to Gillian Keegan, Secretary of State for Education, that she pull her finger out and get back round the negotiating table with teachers and come up with an offer that
a) isn't an insult
b) doesn't take funding away from resources for kids.

Not striking will impact education if the government continue to take money from school budgets to give teachers any pay rise.

Original poster
TheOrigRights · 23/04/2023 11:33

noblegiraffe · 23/04/2023 11:03

Please email your MP asking that they forward your request to Gillian Keegan, Secretary of State for Education, that she pull her finger out and get back round the negotiating table with teachers and come up with an offer that
a) isn't an insult
b) doesn't take funding away from resources for kids.

Not striking will impact education if the government continue to take money from school budgets to give teachers any pay rise.

I support the strikes, I was only pointing out that absences and strikes impact education because a poster had compared these situations.

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 23/04/2023 11:35

Yes, and I'm making the point that if you care about the impact on education of the strikes, you may also care about the impact on education of the current government offer and may wish to email Gillian Keegan about this.

Original poster
TheOrigRights · 23/04/2023 11:38

noblegiraffe · 23/04/2023 11:35

Yes, and I'm making the point that if you care about the impact on education of the strikes, you may also care about the impact on education of the current government offer and may wish to email Gillian Keegan about this.

Already done. I email my MP quite frequently about different issues. It tends to make me even more full of rage but at least I feel I'm being proactive.

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 23/04/2023 12:15

Thank you.

If you ask for your email to be forwarded to Gillian Keegan, you should get a response from the DfE.

miniegg3 · 23/04/2023 12:24

I would just go anyway and take it as an unauthorised absence