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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Missing secondary school induction day

22 replies

Dumbphone · 23/03/2023 10:10

My child is very nervous about his new secondary school starting sep 23. His anxiety is that the children are all much smarter than him.

He has an induction evening and then day (consecutive days) at his new school in June, but this is the last day of his residential trip with his current school - i.e. the Thursday evening and Friday daytime. I've looked at different ways to get him back but it's a 5 hour drive from residential to new school.

One way to do it would be I drive up on the Thursday to get him back for the Thursday eve, meaning 10 hours driving for me, a day off work and organising my younger child pickups etc. This means he would miss the last full day and night (he would be really upset about this). The other way is I drive up late on the Thursday - wouldn't arrive until very late, (stay up there) and leave very early - don't think this is feasible given distance.

I am really worried about him not going on the induction day though - it might help with his anxiety about the other children.

Can anyone give advice? Would he be missing lots if he missed the induction? Is it essential? Will he be at a disadvantage if he misses it? Would the new school look badly on us if he didn't go?

OP posts:

Comedycook · 23/03/2023 10:20

Does his new school do anything during the summer holidays...my dds school did a week long holiday camp type thing where the new year 7 came in every day for a few hours for a week during the summer hols...I think quite a few schools do that.

If it was me I probably would let him miss the induction day...it's far from ideal but cutting short the residential trip sounds really difficult and impractical.

redskylight · 23/03/2023 10:23

My DC's school don't even have an induction day.

I would not think missing a day in June would have that much impact - a lot of students will miss it for one reason or another, so the school will start afresh from September. Presumably your DC is not the only one in this position regarding the residential trip clash?

Agree with PP about seeing if there is a summer school.

I suspect the issue with anxiety could work either way - if he attends and finds it a difficult day it's then a long time to worry until September.

Teatime55 · 23/03/2023 10:25

he won’t be the only one. Some children move in the holidays, some only get places sorted last minute or they change their choices.
I’d just ring and let them know.

Pascha · 23/03/2023 10:27

Honestly I'd inform the secondary school he's on residential and leave it at that. The induction days are useful for introducing the school surroundings to new starters but not to the extent of missing part of an integral Yr 6 experience with classmates he will soon not see again.

In 10 years time he'd much rather have the excellent memories of Residential with his friends doing stuff that they may never try otherwise and generally having a whale of a time.

You can't get that experience back. There will always be more school though.

Skiphopbump · 23/03/2023 10:29

I would prioritise the residential trip. Are others from his primary going to the same school? The school may be able to organise another day to look around during the school day.

PuttingDownRoots · 23/03/2023 10:31

My DDs whole primary class (59/60 children went to same secondary) missed a day of induction as the Primary school had booked something else that day!

As it turned out, the secondary school hadn't done the class lists etc so they were grouped by primary school anyway. They also hadn't run induction the previous 2 years due to Covid.

AmyandPhilipfan · 23/03/2023 10:36

Is the primary the feeder for the secondary, so most kids will be going there? If so, the secondary might be able to offer another day for that school if lots are going to miss it.

Otherwise, ask if there's any extra days being planned for children who might need it? My now Year 10 was offered an extra week at his new secondary due to some SEN/vulnerabilities. The primaries identified the children who might need a bit of extra time and gave a list to the secondary and those, perhaps, 10%, got an extra week at the school in July. It really helped my son and the struggles that I thought he would have starting never happened.

Hoppinggreen · 23/03/2023 10:39

Just let him do The Residential.
DD is 18 and still talks about her Y7 one fondly. DS started Secondary in Covid and so didn’t really have much of an Induction and he was going from State to Private knowing 1 other boy there. Your son should be ok

EpicBanana · 23/03/2023 11:00

Just do the residential. My anxious DC got a waiting list place and missed induction and summer school. It wasn't a problem, loads of kids in a similar boat and all the real bonding stuff happens in September anyway.

TeenDivided · 23/03/2023 11:24

Why would he think they will all be smarter than him?

If it is a selective school then he has passed the entrance test.
If it is non selective then it will have a cross section, just like his primary school.

It doesn't sound practical to bring him back early, but it seems as if something needs to happen to allay his fears.

FanSpamTastic · 23/03/2023 11:29

One thing to check with the new school is whether they do any admin things on induction day eg at ds school they took photos for their passes - he might be able to go in and do that the following week. Not worth missing the residential for but good to sort out before the new term.

Jules912 · 23/03/2023 11:38

I wouldn't miss the residential for this, he won't be the only one to miss it. In my borough all the high schools do their induction on the same day and all the primaries know about it to avoid this issue, but there's still the odd child going cross-borough or private that has a clash.

Kazzyhoward · 23/03/2023 11:46

My DS went to an induction half-day and didn't really benefit from it. He's a quiet child so didn't strike up any friendships, and couldn't really remember any of the other children there. They didn't do any tours, it was basically just a few short talks from the Head of school, head of year 7, and the form tutors, all in the school hall. In the middle of the afternoon, they were taken to a sports pitch for a kick around with a ball as a kind of break. Totally pointless really. No admin was done (other than signing in and getting a name sticker).

Original poster

Dumbphone · 23/03/2023 16:18

Thank you so much for all of your input, extremely helpful. I will prioritise the residential, to avoid the massive faff and disruption to him.

The anxiety is because he's moving from SEN provision to mainstream (majority of the other children in his SEN school are staying on for secondary). We are working on it feeling less worrying, but it may take some time, and I wanted to show him there's nothing to worry about, but maybe he will feel even more stressed with all the rushing about and travelling.

Thanks again all

OP posts:

TeenDivided · 23/03/2023 16:25

If he is moving from SEN provision, does he have an ehcp? They may be willing to do a tailored transition for him such as getting him to visit for an hour or two a few times, meet pastoral and SEN staff, meet his tutor etc.

Is he likely to be one of the weakest academically? Do they set for maths early on so he will have smaller classes / extra support?

Original poster

Dumbphone · 23/03/2023 16:39

No EHCP as very specific need, and largely addressed by current school. Remaining confidence issues from early on though, and some things will never be resolved i think; spelling, handwriting, spatial awareness, sensory needs etc will always be there, but good tools in place to cope.

I haven't had the opportunity to ask about sets, though I know they do CATs and will speak with his current school to prepare, so feel they will have a good idea of what is needed for him.

OP posts:

TeenDivided · 23/03/2023 16:46

If you haven't already I would email the new SENCO directly (maybe at the start of next term) asking them about a) transition and b) to contact current school re support needs. As he doesn't have an EHCP his needs may get 'lost'. It is much better to be proactive on these things - better to duplicate info than have it missing.

At the start of September I would also email his new form tutor telling him any necessary information.

Skiphopbump · 23/03/2023 18:38

Definitely email the SENCO and head of year, they will probably arrange a meeting with you to look at how they can address his needs and may meet him too. My DS has a tour of the school too.

AuditAngel · 06/04/2023 21:55

My middle child has a learning difficulty that wasn’t diagnosed until year 9, she had managed to find her own coping strategies and worked hard to cover it, I noticed over covid that she was reading slower than her sister 3.5 years yo7 ver.

she uses a chrome book for almost everything now in school, might this be an option for your son?

Tallulasdancingshoes · 06/04/2023 22:00

We’ve had children come on separate tours at a time convenient if they can’t do taster day. We’ve also had SEND children come on multiple tours to help them feel more at ease. Contact the school, I’m sure they’ll be able to organise something for you. Definitely don’t leave the trip early.

abignael · 07/04/2023 01:32

I’m not sure how feasible this is but when my DD missed her induction day because she was on a residential - they offered a make up day with about 10/15 other children. You could also see if you could organise a day at the park for him and another child in his class if you know any of the parents. It might even be worth extending a class wide invitation - although I only ever heard this happen once it would be a good way to meet parents as well. My DD’s school was also really good at giving each child a buddy in their year group who was in a different class and they messaged all summer - but this was a smallish indie school.

Stopsnowing · 07/04/2023 01:50

June to September is quite a long time and I am sure there will be lots of induction type things at the start of term. Really not worth missing the residential.

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