Am I weird to ask about the screen time setting of the school iPad?

[CCCT]

Hi all,

Re: the screen time function was being deactivated in the school iPad.

At the beginning of the school year, I am sure this function could be turned on and I set the downtime from 10pm.

Recently my daughter told me that she can access the iPad after 10pm. Therefore, yesterday night, I asked in the parent group for the settings of their daughters'.

Today, my daughter came home and she told me that, all her classmates said I am a weirdo?!

I do not understand... why asking the settings of the screen time of a school iPad is weird?

For year 7 students, is it unreasonable to check her screen time?

Please let me know if I shouldn't ask this.

Thanks
CCCT

We are obviously much stricter than many. Screens are downstairs before 10 in this house! But judging from the amount of beeping, many kids are still messaging way past 10pm.
It's not something I'd ask other parents about tho - it's our rules, rather than a law, so we stick with what works for us.

What else have you asked about in the group?

@CatJumperTwat I think the problem is it seemed something on the iPad had changed, so OP wanted to ask the other parents about their settings, in case her daughter had broken or unlocked something. I don't think the OP goes ok the parent chat to ask what their kids time limits are.

Dodgeitornot You might be right! Either way these other parents clearly can't be trusted to keep group stuff in the group.

"Can't be trusted?"
Anything divulged via a parents' group is hardly top secret information.

I mention things raised in my parents' group to my DD all the time. Generally because I want to see if it's a thing she knew or that had affected her. Didn't occur to me that I should be keeping it solely in the group.

Can't be trusted?"
Anything divulged via a parents' group is hardly top secret information.
It's not top secret and I doubt anyone thinks it is, but unfortunately always a couple of parents who feel the need to tell their DC anything and everything about their peers.
Apparently these parents aren't capable of applying common sense.

There's an obvious difference between:
"DC, one of the parents has asked about something that happened in maths. Do you know what happened?"
And
"Tommy's mummy is asking about parental controls on technology".

The child doesn't need to know the second. If the parent had a technical question it could be asked without naming the child concerned. But some parents like to be the bitchy ones so it's no surprise if their children end up being unkind.

Yh parents can be strange and tbh it sounds like you've been unlucky. If the kids are ok to go up to your child and call you weird than they're bringing that from home. We've never had anything like this and I, alongside other parents, have asked far more intrusive things than checking if an iPad setting is broken or hacked.

My husband said maybe the word “weird” was come from those 11-12 years old kids, not from their parents. He asked me to relax, easy easy…..

he guess, these pre-teens, will become very sensitive, when their iPads were checked by their parents. then it may cause the unhappy feelings ….

@CCCT Sure but the kids shouldn't know why their parents are checking their iPads.

I guess you won't know for sure, there's so many variables that could've caused this. It could've been bitchy parents or one kid who told all the others and they all said you're weird. It's hard to know but please know you did nothing wrong.

And yes, I can understand , even when I go and pick up my 11 years old daughter’s iPad, she becomes nervous.
She needs to stand right next to me to keep an eye on every button I press/touch.

Dodgeitornot

Thanks so much for your support.

This was my first assumption too.

Dodgeitornot
Agree with you. What another parent has or hasn't said about their child shouldn't come into it.
There's absolutely no reason for another parent to share what OP has done with OP's child.