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Secondary education

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Original poster

Not selected for P.E team

41 replies

TenacityWins · 09/03/2023 18:29

DD plays a niche sport out of school, which the school is aware of...however, the sporty girls good at all sports get picked to represent the school in that niche sport even though my daughter has beaten them in in-school events.

Is P.E the least inclusive subject ever??? The sporty girls seem to be favoured and asked to take part in lots of events and DD feels invisible.

AIBU to ask the school what their policy is for selecting players to represent the school?

OP posts:
Ohyouareawful · 09/03/2023 18:33

I am in the USA so they have public tryouts for every sport so it’s almost always obvious who is the best and they have different levels such as Varsity, Junior Varsity etc. How old is your child and is there a process for choosing who represents the school? Is there a coach/teacher specific to that sport that you could approac?

Swansong124 · 09/03/2023 18:58

That doesn’t sound fair. What’s the sport?

Floralnomad · 09/03/2023 19:02

How is it a niche sport if it’s played in school

Ohyouareawful · 09/03/2023 19:49

Some sports like rowing/crew and lacrosse are only played at some schools and so in some regions would be relatively unusual.

snowtrees · 09/03/2023 21:45

I had that at primary with DD. My child was the only one who played that sport & to a high level. Not picked.
I am pretty sure DS about to have the same. Disgrace

Snoopystick · 09/03/2023 21:48

There’s no harm in asking. Sounds a bit like when I was at School - favoured ‘sporty’ ones got picked for all sports even if others were better in specific ones.

CMOTDibbler · 09/03/2023 21:50

Some schools are funny about those who compete for a club outside school representing the school. I know that one of the boys in Ds's rowing club doesn't get picked for competition crews at school because of that

Bringonsummer19 · 09/03/2023 22:01

Oh yes we have this. Always picking favourites

drpet49 · 09/03/2023 22:02

Can’t be that niche if the sport is played in school.

DelurkingAJ · 09/03/2023 22:04

I confess I laughed a great deal when the PE teacher at DS1’s school (who had never selected him for anything, including cricket) had to congratulate him for making the county squad. DS1 had been quite confused as to why he was never once selected…turns out our experience is not unique and this chap likes to select the children of people he knows from the football team he runs in the village. Grrrrr…

42isthemeaning · 09/03/2023 22:10

Nothing worse than your dc being the only one left behind at school whilst the others all go on a fixture.
So they couldn't even take them as a sub?
All it did was instil a lifelong hatred of PE and sport. I did complain at the time.
Another dc tries very hard in sports even though they don't find it easy. They are confused as to why some
badly behaved dc are always picked for the sports teams...
In your case op that is even more ridiculous- why would you take someone who plays the sport to a high level outside of school?!

pinkypancakes · 09/03/2023 22:12

Our school does this. Very annoying. Same old girls picked for all things sporty despite my dc having official recorded times as faster than the others in certain teams for their sport.
Happened when I went to school. For our tennis lessons if we weren't good enough we had to sit at the side of the court and watch and only those on the tennis team were picked to go on an annual trip to Wimbledon. If schools can do anything to put dc off sport this is the kind of thing that works. I thought myself useless at sport as a result.

Hellocatshome · 09/03/2023 22:22

DS competes in his sport at national level (its a sport that requires a high level of athletic ability not a sport like bowls etc), he wasn't even allowed to be involved in Sports Day because he "wasn't sporty".

CeliaNorth · 09/03/2023 22:24

Some schools are funny about those who compete for a club outside school representing the school. I know that one of the boys in Ds's rowing club doesn't get picked for competition crews at school because of that.

Could they be concerned that school training and matches or competitions could conflict with club commitments? The boy (or girl) can't be in two places at once.

snowtrees · 09/03/2023 22:50

I think picking the same favourite kids is common. My DS plays sport at least 1-2 hours a day. But never gets picked for teams as a rule

Dodgeitornot · 09/03/2023 23:38

This has happened to my DD. She's in a competitive swim squad, has lots of galas under her belt and is very fit. Still in the lowest PE set despite taking part in London Youth Games with her club, but was not chosen to represent the school in a once in a blue moon swimming fixture. The teachers beloved group of 4 went who could barely swim. Only my DD and one other girl in her year are on a swimming team. Go figure.

Dodgeitornot · 09/03/2023 23:41

@CMOTDibbler Schools aren't allowed to do this for one, and two it's mostly clubs that don't like their players competing for their schools as risk of injury is high when playing with less able players.
However, picking favourites is a very common thing with PE teachers. In my DDs case, the swimming situation I mentioned above, the girls who were chosen do compete nationally.. in dance. They've also represented the school in dance... and pretty much every other sport.

Netaporter · 10/03/2023 05:17

I had this at DD’s prep school. Literally the only one not to be picked in a very small year group, even as a reserve, choosing kids from a lower year group instead . “Sorry mininetaporter I can’t pick everyone” And it was very petty with the PE teacher, who seemed to have taken a dislike to her and as a grown woman of 50+years should have really known better to try and undermine a child’s self-esteem. DD was devastated. One summer she trained very hard to get onto the x-country team as the first 10 in tryouts would get picked. She finished 8th and still didn’t get picked. I asked the school to justify that and got absolutely nowhere. Then the PE teacher one Easter had chocolate to give out ‘only for the team’ and DD was the only child not to get any. So I did two things, first, I wrote to the school to say DD ‘sorry, but she is not available’ on the days where there was a tournament/event so the teacher had no power to exclude her and then ensured she had success outside of school in other non-sporting activities which meant she was celebrated elsewhere and the school couldn’t claim credit. Secondly, I used to buy her teachers and support staff a nice bottle of wine/fizz at Xmas/end of year. After this all started, I excluded the PE teacher as the only staff member involved with DD not to get a bottle. She happened to be in the school office when I dropped the presents off and I explained to her “sorry, I could only pick x number of people to buy for but I’m sure you understand”. Obviously incredibly petty. And funnily enough, the exclusion stopped straight after..

On the upside, DD learned two things, not all adults are fair, and secondly when you get to the next school, the kids used to always being picked without having to try are devastated at no longer being ‘special’. DD is a well rounded individual and we still laugh at the madness of it all back then. Anything that is a bit shit we refer to as ‘very Mrs X’ 😉

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 10/03/2023 05:26

@Netaporter I salute you!

ProposedWarning · 10/03/2023 08:25

Sports teachers seem to have favourites more than other teachers. It’s strange. Not my kids as they are shit at all sport. But I could see other enthusiastic and talented children being looked over for the more alpha kids of alpha parents. A real shame. Maybe a power thing for PE teachers, who knows.

Changingdetailasthisisawkward · 10/03/2023 08:40

My old school was appalling for this. The sports teacher clearly had favourites - two girls whose parents taught at the school, sons of parents involved in the football club. Made no effort to teach skills to others (myself included, I competed at a national level in a sport, but was made to feel useless in multiple ways - put on the spot with a new sport, etc.). It made PE a waste of time and fostered some very poor lessons and behaviour.

elvisforever · 10/03/2023 08:45

Wow, this seems to happen so frequently and, as several have said, seems rife amongst sports teachers. I honestly think some of them (no offence intended) are not the brightest and tend to choose kids who remind them of themselves or are the vision of being 'sporty', if you know what I mean? For boys, that means those who are all rounder, more 'macho' boys who are strong and quick. It also often means those boys (and I guess girls) who are taller, bigger, stronger, even though they miss out on those who develop physically a bit later. Huge loss of talent!

It's the same with sports scholarships - most schools seem to select on fitness, size and speed which, tbh, for some sports is ridiculous as the technique or knowledge of the sports is harder to attain than building up someone's fitness levels!

The issue then is that those with scholarships or perceived as high performance level, seem to get on a list and then get picked for everything.

I honestly think sports management at school is one area that really needs to move with the times.

Hoppinggreen · 10/03/2023 08:49

We had this at Primary. DD was good at most sports but hated netball, which was the PE teacher’s favourite sport. Because she didn’t want to be in the netball team she was never in any other sports teams, despite being very good.
The Netball team was basically the team for every other sport.

IncessantNameChanger · 10/03/2023 08:51

**@Netaporter 😄

IncessantNameChanger · 10/03/2023 08:53

My son goes to a specialist school and has dyspraxia but he is still never chosen. So even in a school where they 'celebrate differences' its reinforced he is shit at PE. He also hates PE now.

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