London Indy Choice - How to Decide?

[user0192837465]

Long time lurker on the SW London 2023 secondary school threads, first time posting.

How did you decide which independent secondary for your DS or DD? We chose on gut feeling. But now questioning that decision.... and the cost (DC is in state primary). Are we crazy to go by gut and choose School 2?

School 1 - 15min travel, fees 4.5k less than School 2 per term (with scholarship). Good school, nice facilties, but always felt disappointed after visiting. Great academic results last year.

School 2 - 50min travel, 4.5k more per term than School 1. Lovely ethos, strong pastoral care, and DC can see themselves there. A top London school with excellent results.

why would you pay 100s of thousands of pounds for somewhere that felt disappointing?

I would go with school 2 or state option based on the above

Paying thousands because it's fewer thousands than another school makes sense unless you find the cheaper school disappointing. Which you do. So why are you even questioning this. Unless there are financial difficulties with paying full whack you'd be mad to choose a school you didn't like.

School 2 definitely.

A 50 min commute is draining imho

Is the fee difference only due to the scholarship?
Some schools the fees jump in Y9

Any other differences?
Languages/sports offered?
Coed/single sex?

What was disappointing about it? Is it that you don't feel is as impressive?
I personally think school 1 makes the most sense. Even if the money was a drop in the ocean, 50mins is far if you have something good much closer.

Thanks ModeWeasel and journeyofinsanity! This was my thinking exactly. Why pay lots of money (even if less 'lots of money') for something that doesn't feel right?

Agree that 50min may be draining. To be honest, I wouldn't necessarily want to do it myself, which makes me uneasy making that decision for my DC. But they are happy to do the extra 35min for School 2.

(Sorry, haven't figure out how to reply to individual messages!)

As to what is disappointing, it may be that I had high expectations for School 1, and thus when I wasn't wowed by it, felt disappointed. It's hard to articulate. There are definitely differences between the schools, e.g. one is coed the other isnt, but nothing that we feel strongly about.

Also, coming from state primary, the idea of being tied into fees, possibly increasing 5-10% each year is frightening. Affordable, but still... so much money.

50 minutes is pretty standard (is it door to door?)
I did go for school 2 in your situation & feel grateful I made that choice on a regular basis. There's nothing better than feeling your child is in the right place for them.
I don't think you can go wrong by relying on gut reaction

@user0192837465 Personally I wouldn’t go for 50 mins one
Doing this now for DS2 (amazing school but far) and will be taking him out end of the year
2 hours commute is long for a some kids they could do so many other things

perhaps revisit School 1? Perhaps you’re just comparing hence the disappointment…

Not sure of your deadlines for accepting offers (quite a few schools have deadlines of today) so do not know how much scope is there for sound off about the schools in question.

Rather difficult to provide views without knowing which schools you are referring to and testing the 'disappointment' you might have felt and map agains the experience of others (also, has your DC and/or others also felt that?). Also, you refer to 'great results' for one and 'top school' for the other - how do they compare? Are both of the them co-ed / single sex? What is the ethos? What about curricular and extra-curricular activities?
As for the money, you are best aware of your personal circumstances and what the difference in fees will make to your day-to-day life.
As others have said 50 minutes is not uncommon as long as it is door-to-door and at the same time / circumstances as DC will face when travelling to and from schools.

Apologies for the generic comments but, as said above, difficult without knowing which schools you are referring to (if time allows, you might want to provide the names, use the SW Thread and/or open your own one stating the names of the schools in the title to generate more traffic of people with experience and/or interest in them

We faced similar choices last year, except with few more schools in the mix. Also coming from state primary.

We chose school 2 because I felt it was a better fit for DD, better pastoral care, and we liked its ethos.

It's been less than a year, so maybe not the final word, but things have gone well so far and DD is thriving.

And yet, if I could make the same choice again, I would probably go for school 1.

The extra commute has made a big negative difference in DD's life - bit less sleep, less free time, less time to do homework and other things, friends far away etc add up.

Also 50 minutes in Google map frequently turned out to be one hour or more at peak time London rush hour. Tube disruptions, strikes etc add to further stress.

So purely based on travel time alone I would choose school 1 if I could do it again. Also reading about 10% fees hike here, am thinking the 25% scholarship from school 1 would have been handy.

Thanks all for sharing your thoughts and experiences! I didn't want to name the schools as I thought that the focus would then become about the school and reputation rather than about whether to go for head or heart decision making.

In the end we chose School 2. Whether it is the right decision, we will have to wait and see. For now it feels right. And there may be the possibility to move schools or home (planning to move some time anyway) if commute is too tricky.