Bursary Question

SteveBuscemisRheumyEye · 2023-03-01T11:40:47+00:00

I will approach schools individually, of course but I just wondered if anyone had an idea of the answer. DD's father and I are divorced. I am remarried. Obviously school fees would be the responsibility of EXH and me, but I'm wondering if they will take my DH's salary into account? (DH won't be contributing at all).

twistyizzy · 01/03/2023 11:58

Yes they will delve into all your finances and the main one being is household income ie joint income irrelevant of who is paying the fees.

CrkdLttrCrkdLttr · 01/03/2023 11:58

It’s obviously case by case but frankly, they would be mad not to take your husband’s salary into account. You’re married, you’re a household like any other. Why on earth should your household have the right to withhold a portion of income - purely by choice - and then ask a school to make up the difference?

Lavender2021 · 01/03/2023 12:00

They will want to see everything. Bank statements, about any cars you have, how many kids, what you spend on the food shop, holidays, savings.

Original poster

SteveBuscemisRheumyEye · 01/03/2023 12:10

That's fine! DH has four kids of his own so our outgoings are pretty high, just for essentials

OP posts:

CrkdLttrCrkdLttr · 01/03/2023 12:27

I would have said the number of children in your combined household is relevant …

A bursar might feel that having made the entirely voluntary choice to marry a man with four children you will not be in a position to prioritise school fees for another child.

I have, btw, known situations where a non-resident parent’s income was not included in any bursary assessment. But as above it will depend on the specific circumstances.

Original poster

SteveBuscemisRheumyEye · 01/03/2023 12:34

@CrkdLttrCrkdLttr and that's absolutely fine! It was more seeing it's worth going for or not.

OP posts:

CrkdLttrCrkdLttr · 01/03/2023 12:49

Schools can make it possible for any child to attend if they really want them to. So it’s always worth enquiring if you have a strong feeling that a bursary place would be transformative for your child. Every applicant is different - you won’t know until you try.

Sunandstars123 · 02/03/2023 07:52

I'm sadly in a very similar position with exh not contributing towards childcare and new husband is reasonably supportive but not contributing towards private education. I'm sadly in the position to release place to a loved school as I'm not able to cover for rising school fees and costs while on maternity.

CrkdLttrCrkdLttr · 02/03/2023 08:32

Not to sound harsh, but realistically, @Sunandstars123 , if independent schooling had been your absolute priority in life, I guess you would have chosen to marry someone who wanted to share in paying for it? (Or not married at all?)

It would obviously be a different situation if one’s partner-in-fee-paying, or you, became incapacitated or otherwise unable to earn money. Those are situations bursaries are designed to address - since the people involved have little choice in the matter and can’t magic the situation away.

Very stressful though. I hope you find an acceptable solution or alternative.

CrkdLttrCrkdLttr · 02/03/2023 08:47

(Obviously independent schooling for their child isn’t most people’s absolute priority in life! I’m not suggesting it should be.)

twistyizzy · 02/03/2023 10:44

CrkdLttrCrkdLttr · 02/03/2023 08:47

(Obviously independent schooling for their child isn’t most people’s absolute priority in life! I’m not suggesting it should be.)

No it isn't but I 100% agree that if you are wanting that route you plan for it ahead of time. We've been planning for it for 5 years and saving accordingly. It isn't just something most people can afford to think about on the spur of the moment.

CrkdLttrCrkdLttr · 02/03/2023 10:55

I’d go a bit further than that …

Lots of people who’ve maybe never considered independent schooling might find themselves with a much cleverer, or more talented / sensitive / shy / whatever child than they anticipated, whose needs are not being met - and someone might say “Have you thought of trying the private school in the next town?” So they won’t have prepared for it. And they must take their chances with the financial situation they’re already in.

It would be interesting to know whether planners or impromptus form the majority of independent school applications!

twistyizzy · 02/03/2023 10:59

@CrkdLttrCrkdLttr everyone I know who is choosing the private option have planned since primary but this is for secondary school ie state primary + private secondary. Again those who chose private primary had planned private route from birth but this is obviously all just anecdotal from our experience. Most people have to sacrifice to afford private therefore a large amount of planning + saving goes into the decision. I don't know anyone who hasn't saved at least 2 years' fees as a safety net prior to sending their DC.

gogohmm · 02/03/2023 11:27

Yes generally. We had to state all our incomes and all our essential expenses ie two lots of housing. We had to list vehicles worth more than £10k, other children and their schooling costs if applicable (mine was at state) and both biological parents plus step parents had to sign. It was very thorough, far more than university loan information which is just your household and non resident parents are disregarded

Original poster

SteveBuscemisRheumyEye · 02/03/2023 16:02

CrkdLttrCrkdLttr · 02/03/2023 10:55

I’d go a bit further than that …

Lots of people who’ve maybe never considered independent schooling might find themselves with a much cleverer, or more talented / sensitive / shy / whatever child than they anticipated, whose needs are not being met - and someone might say “Have you thought of trying the private school in the next town?” So they won’t have prepared for it. And they must take their chances with the financial situation they’re already in.

It would be interesting to know whether planners or impromptus form the majority of independent school applications!

This is us entirely. DD is exceptionally bright and has ASD. There is a small, nurturing private school locally. All the other schools are huge (she already has incredible anxiety at primary).

Essentially I will sacrifice everything, including paying into a pension so she can attend the right school for her.

OP posts:

Hellenabe · 11/03/2023 07:41

gogohmm · 02/03/2023 11:27

Yes generally. We had to state all our incomes and all our essential expenses ie two lots of housing. We had to list vehicles worth more than £10k, other children and their schooling costs if applicable (mine was at state) and both biological parents plus step parents had to sign. It was very thorough, far more than university loan information which is just your household and non resident parents are disregarded

@gogohmm with the forms, my children's dad doesn't contribute to fees. I'm wondering if he still has to sign. I'm sure he would sign and say he didn't have the disposable income to do that but do these papers go into that much detail?

lolo99 · 08/04/2023 17:54

gogohmm · 02/03/2023 11:27

Yes generally. We had to state all our incomes and all our essential expenses ie two lots of housing. We had to list vehicles worth more than £10k, other children and their schooling costs if applicable (mine was at state) and both biological parents plus step parents had to sign. It was very thorough, far more than university loan information which is just your household and non resident parents are disregarded

Did you secure a bursary? I'm going to be applying and so worried about it. We desperately need it. Do they mind if you own a home? (mortgaged)

Hellenabe · 08/04/2023 19:25

We didn't get ours. The gist of it was the assets I had despite not likely to have any income soon. I have some savings plus I'm mortgage free. The bursar explained that those with big mortgages or renting, and with no savings took priority.

I'd completely warn others taking on a bursary to bear in mind how you'd cover the costs if its reviewed. I never thought it would come to this but I have the assets to liquidate luckily. Others may need to pull their children out.

Hellenabe · 08/04/2023 19:28

I'd add I had a bursary, then it was reduced significantly.

Cyclingmummy1 · 09/04/2023 08:48

In our area bursaries are limited to those on less than £60k-ish. I think finding £1k a month out of that is a huge commitment.

We're a friend who worked in a burser's office and some of the outgoings people think are essential are hilarious - a horse, a maserati.

In addition, many smaller schools fund bursaries out of donations, they don't have massive funds or endowments, which may decrease as people tighten their belts. For example, we are asked to donate our deposit and were asked to consider donating our covid refund.