Single vs co-ed

[AlwaysMoreThanMeetsTheEye]

My DD has got offers from 2 secondary private schools. Both have much going for them. The biggest difference is the single sex (girls) vs co-ed.
Our DD is an only child and, although has enjoyed co-ed education so far, most of her friends at school are girls and she does not interact much with boys in her extra-curricular activities.
Instinctively, I feel that co-ed might prepare her better socially for the world she would face at university and beyond. But would really welcome views of others with girls (either only children or in with only sisters in the household) in a similar situation that have gone to single sex schools and can comment on their experience.

Studied a Masters where 20% females and the ones that went to girls only school seems to find interdisciplinary group work with Maths, Sciences etc thrown in with both sexes represented rather challenging with interpersonal skills. I think this is due to the era and not current reflection, so do ask for current coed and single sex school experiences within 5 years to make it count. I really think it is about the school and their ethos and fit. Good luck and enjoy the offers day.

I think it depends on which schools as well. I have a DS at a co- Ed and a DD at single sex. Just the way it worked out and could easily have worked the other way round. I'm not sure it makes a whole lot of difference to be honest.

Presumably that was directed at me?

Between two academically similar schools it was a distinguishing factor given our DD.
It wasn’t the only part of our choice, on the basis we’re rather more thoughtful than you credit.

My daughter went to a mixed school but wanted to go all girls for sixth form. She found the boys disruptive and loud. It was better in the top sets but she said ' I want to learn, not listen to a bunch of boys'. We had to move for this and she is now in a selective school in central London and while that was a huge adjustment (going from a five minute walk to an hour commute with tube), she is as happy as she would be at any school. And she has done a few things (like start up a club) which I don't think she would have at her old school.
I'm not at all concerned about it not being like the 'real world'. That might be a concern if at a boarding school, but she has enough contact with the real world commuting!
My son however only benefited from being in a mixed school. I would not have sent him to an all boys one. Pick the school you think would benefit YOUR child.

I asked to move from all girls to co-ed as I found it cliquey, bitchy, and just a bit....odd. Co-ed has different issues, but for me it worked much better and I think I adapted to university life better than my friend's from all girls. I have chosen co-ed for my girls and they have really flourished and have great male friends.

I went to an all girls state school, my only child DD is at a private all girls secondary.

I would say it depends what kind of girls school, and what kind of girl. DD's school is relatively mixed ability, small, and not overly results focused. We have found the girls to be generally lovely with occasional minor hiccups, but have heard that in some of the more competitive girls schools the culture of superiority can drive more bitchy behaviour. But the same might be true for any of the very competitive schools, whether girls or co-ed.

My own experience of single sex education as a girl who was very academic and introverted was that some girls could be mean. I cannot think however how boys being there would have helped, it would just have increased my sense of difference.

@AlwaysMoreThanMeetsTheEye this tends to be a divisive topic because we're all influenced by our personal experiences. I agree with PPs that it depends on the child, and also on the specific school in question. It sounds from your posts like you are well aware of that so I'm sure between you, you will make the right decision for your DD.

FWIW DS went to an all-boys and DD went to a mixed – this goes totally against what the research shows is best (and at the time I worked in educational research so was well aware of it), but it worked for them. Both enjoyed their schools and chose not to move for Sixth Form.

Was in a similar place two years ago, DD an only child from a mixed primary, all her friends in primary were girls, and we were applying to a range of selective indies in London.

We eventually went for all girls, partly influenced by various statistics on low take up of STEM subjects by girls in mixed schools. We had no idea (and still don't) whether DD will like maths, physics etc at A level, but wanted to remove at least one factor that is shown to influence subject choices adversely.

It was also the year when Everyone's Invited started and going through some of the testimonies from girls in London mixed indies was gut wrenching. To be honest, till then we were toying with the idea of applying to one or two good mixed schools, but after that I just lost all enthusiasm for mixed.

I much prefer co-ed, but really that’s just a hunch based on my own co-ed experience and the uni students and subsequently men and women I’ve met since then, I’d never pretend to know that co-ed is objectively better or anything like that.