Habs or John Lyon for DD?

[miradera]

Hi, my first post here! DD has been offered a place in Habs Girls and John Lyon.
I'm in agony!
DD likes Habs but I've read so many negative posts about toxic environment and poor pastoral care.
John Lyon, on the other hand, is closed to us but it's still mainly boys school with only few girls on the classes from what I've heard.
I don't want DD to end up unhappy on super selective school. She is highly academic but so sensitive.
Please, share your opinion if you know both schools. Thank you!

Quite limited experience but a friend’s son is at John Lyons and wants to leave. I wouldn’t send a sensitive girl to a mainly boys’ school. I’ve had friends with children who have been at Habs girls who have done really well. Children do move around later if she really doesn’t get on there ..

Thank you so much for your reply! May I ask why does your friend's son want to leave JL? What is the problem?

I don’t really know, he says he doesn’t like it! Sorry not to be more helpful.

I will preface this by saying this information is 10+ yrs old. But professionally I had so many patients from this school with eating disorders and self harm which suggested something awry. Eating disorders are not catching as such but there were just so many girls we saw from this school that it was certainly of note at the time. Maybe Google will tell you if this is still the case.

I forgot to say I am referring to Habs

Thank you! I guess it's quite common problem for girls in any school, so hard!

Yes. It was massively over the average there though unfortunately

Bumping the topic, hoping for more replies 🫶

I don't know anything about John Lyon but Habs only if your dd is thick skinned, alpha type, either super sporty or musical and obviously 100% academic. I have heard that Habs causes confidence issues for girls (no-one feels EVER good enough), hell would freeze over before I'd sent mine there. I much prefer Abbots Hill, also a girls school but a lot more nurturing. In the end girls learn best if they're are happy and feel secure.

Thank you! Absolutely devastated to hear so much negative comments about Habs. I now feel I let my daughter down targeting Habs and not taking exams for other top schools. Well, probably will turn down Habs and go to the local school. I absolutely hate the idea of ruining my daughter's mental health

Oh don't do that @miradera , these are just random comments from random people on the internet including my post. I was saying that I personally wouldn't send my dd there but I might a.) be wrong in my judgement and b.) your dd and you as a family might be a lot hardier than we are 😃. Habs must be brilliant for lots of girls but with it being such an ambitious environment, even extremely bright and talented girls can end up feeling average and not good enough.

You could contact the school and ask about their pastoral care and there is of course lots you can do at home to prevent any negative impact. If your dd knows that her best effort will be always good enough for you and her family and is prepared that she will be surrounded be many super stellar girls but that it's ok to just be herself whether high achieving or not, will provide lots of protection from unhealthy competition. Ultimately, there will be some lovely down to earth girls there too and maybe it's a good learning experience for your dd to find her way in a highly ambitious environment and remain true to herself rather than being swept away by the pool of highly talented girls with very ambitious parents.

Don't just give up on this school, try to find out more, maybe you could ask to speak to existing parents and there are some podcasts online with former students talking about their time at Habs.

Please take whatever nuggets of info you get on here with a pinch of salt OP and go with your gut and your own personal impressions. The amount of rubbish I've read on MN about schools that I know well and have even had my own DC attending at the time, is ridiculous. You hear ONE person's, often second or third hand, completely out of date, biased opinion. If you want to know which school is right for your DD and you aren't sure, ask to go back and visit again, ask to meet with the pastoral head, etc. Don't let people on the internet, who you know nothing about, sway such an important decision for you.

Behaviour at JL is not great. I wouldn't send a sensitive girl there.

Habs a much better choice from an academic perspective.

Thank you! I really feel gutted because my dd worked so hard on her exams, and 90% of reviews of the school are negative here, which is so worrying.
I value mental health more than any high grades. There are no so much negativity about other highly selective schools, so really worried now

I wouldn’t say all the reviews are negative! Habs girls is in a completely different league to JL. I would think very carefully before turning it down.

Habs is totally joyless.

Are you speaking from the experience of your dd? Can you tell more, please?

Habs is getting a new head in September who I understand will be tasked by the Executive Head (overseeing the new Heads of the boys and girls schools) to improve things at the girls' school in terms of pastoral care and bringing the joy back to learning. I would definitely go with Habs over John Lyons - JL has a poor reputation on behaviour. (The old Head of Habs girls is moving to John Lyons).

I hope it's a good sign for both schools. Although I really liked John Lyon head on the open school event

hi..
I have a lot of experience of The John Lyon School, and I can say that the girls are thriving, having loads of opportunities, and enjoying the selective but inclusive atmosphere. By 2023 there will be three years with girls in. Come and meet them..

DD at Habs, has been there since the junior school, now in year 12. Very happy, lovely friends. Yes there are a lot of very bright girls which creates a competitive environment, but i wouldn't have her anywhere else. It's a great school!

You hear ONE person's, often second or third hand, completely out of date, biased opinion.

Couldn't have put it better than this. A comment such as a school is 'joyless' with no further information is absolutely meaningless and for this reason I would not come to this site for opinions. We all hear lots of rumours about many schools but without being there, cannot validate anything.

As an outsider, I would undoubtedly pick Habs from the 2 - one of the most significant reasons being that girls in JL is not fully established at this point and I wouldn't want my DD who is sensitive to in a school where the older years are predominantly male. As a PP said, Habs is also a completely different league to JL and one of those schools where you will make contacts that could potentially take you very far in the future. I believe they would not have offered her a place if they didn't believe she would enjoy it there.

However, it is not my choice - I recommend you ask the schools to see them again, possibly see if you can speak to any current students and hopefully that will help you make a decision

Disclaimer: I know nothing current about either of these schools (though I do know a fair bit about Habs Boys). But as a general point, one question I would have re JL is whether there are enough girls to form all-girl groups, such as sports teams and other extra-curricular activities. Also are there plenty of female teachers – for example you may not want your DD to be put off STEM subjects (which can happen at mixed schools – it didn't for mine so no personal axe to grind, but stats indicate it can be a concern).

I have two daughters at Habs currently. Both extremely happy and thriving.
please don’t base a decision based on comments on social media/platforms such as these. Go to the offer holders day, speak to the staff, other parents with offers, current parents.
Neither of my daughters have ever experienced a ‘toxic’ or ‘joyless’ environment - quite the opposite.

So nice to see good reviews about Habs at last! Thank you so much xxx