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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Alleyns vs Dulwich College

20 replies

GardeningMUMsw18 · 12/02/2023 20:47

We are in the incredibly lucky position of having offers for Alleyns and Dulwich College for my DS (how proud are we!!) but we are unsure what is right for him. My son doesn't like rugby or football but he likes other sports but he is definitely not an alpha type . He is academically bright but also has ADHD and am looking for a school that would support him. He is very kind and soft, enthusiastic - quite into the arts, dancing, drama and a little quirky etc. I realise they are both totally amazing schools but want to choose a school where he is happy and he can find his people. He currently attends a coed school but most of his close friends are boys. I went to coed myself so I don't know what a single sex boys school would be like for a small slightly arty boy? Are they both good with SEN? Would love to get some opinions. Thank you.

OP posts:

misslonglegs · 12/02/2023 20:53

Alleyns is excellent and slightly less ‘alpha male rugby’ type from what I’ve seen although saying that, even the rugby type boys that attend DC that we know have really enjoyed acting and drama.

There are groups of boys we have seen from DC that do seem quite ‘laddish’. Then there are the quieter more studious types that stick together.

In your position I’d personally go for Alleyns but I’m sure your boy will do well regardless of where he is between the two.

(No doubt I’ll be corrected on the stereotypes!)

Original poster

GardeningMUMsw18 · 13/02/2023 11:33

Thank you for your reply. That is very helpful!

OP posts:

ModeWeasel · 13/02/2023 11:34

I would also go for Alleyn’s based on that. Which does your son prefer? What is your gut feel?

365sleepstogo · 13/02/2023 11:58

If it comes down to splitting hairs because all else is equal, studies suggest boys do better in co-Ed.
I will caveat that with the obvious that this does not necessarily hold true for the individual child.

Mystery2345 · 13/02/2023 13:16

Alleyn's

Although you should check the ADHD support - assume you've already disclosed he will need it?

365sleepstogo · 13/02/2023 14:02

Mystery2345 · 13/02/2023 13:16

Alleyn's

Although you should check the ADHD support - assume you've already disclosed he will need it?

It should be in the reference from the current HT so hopefully shouldn’t come as a surprise to either school but agree definitely check with both schools whether the support they offer is likely to meet your son’s needs.

Original poster

GardeningMUMsw18 · 13/02/2023 17:30

He seems a little unsure. We are going back for an offer day for Alleyns where I will check on the ADHD provision but DC are not doing an offer day which is a shame!

Thanks all for your advice. Much appreciated

OP posts:

LillyD · 13/02/2023 20:08

Hi, my son has ADHD as well and dyslexia and he will probably be going to Dulwich. His brother is there already, so I am biased! Our experience so far with his older brother is that the learning support at DC is excellent. Obviously both schools are amazing academically. But I just wanted to say that I don’t necessarily think that the stereotype that an all boy school means that it’s more alpha or laddish necessarily holds true. Whilst there are alpha/sporty boys everywhere, DC is huge and your DD will find his tribe. Dulwich has incredibly strong drama and music, its own dance master and there are inter house competitions not just for sport but for poetry, art, photography etc. My son is very artistic and I was quite reassured by Dr Spense when he said that he felt that in an all boys school, boys feel freer to do the more ‘arty’ subjects typically dominated by girls.

London2023 · 14/02/2023 08:24

Hi, We have the same choice to make. I have found your previous replies very helpful. Our son is more sporty than artistic (for now at least) and we have a younger daughter to consider too. Do you know what Alleyn’s position is in relation to sibling policies (I have read that they would give priority to siblings if the sibling successfully passes the exams but I have also been told by Alleyn’s parents that this was not the case). We also really liked Dr Spence at Dulwich but one of the parents there told us that he might be leaving soon (I guess this is only a rumour as I have not found anything official). We are genuinely lost as to what to do. Any advice? Thank you!

ChnandlerBong · 14/02/2023 11:45

We had this choice for a non alpha boy and chose DC. The sport is v inclusive and he enjoyed joining in Saturday fixtures despite himself. The range of sports on offer in the middle and upper school is pretty broad so even now as a determinedly non sporty kid he still does weekly marshal arts and gym sessions.

DC is big enough that any boy will find his own tribe - they're not in the rugby A team after all!

The SEN provision is pretty good I think - I know they screen all the boys for dyslexia in Y7 as a matter of course. And clearly the facilities generally are amazing - drama and art seem really strong and ds enjoyed the choirs in the lower school.

Agree Dr Spence is fab - by far the most inspiring head we met in our journey, and not aware of his intention to leave, although he ahs been there some time now.

Alleyns used to have a strong sibling policy but no more. Think there may be a lower bar to be invited to interview as a sibling but am aware of lots of families where one of the kids hasn't got in.

Original poster

GardeningMUMsw18 · 14/02/2023 15:26

My friend has a daughter at Alleyns and her very clever son did not get in. To be fair the headmaster called her personally to explain but I don't think the sibling policy is a very strong one now.

Glad to read that the SEN support at DC is strong. These responses are very helpful. Thank you :-)

OP posts:

tinatea · 16/02/2023 02:19

There isn't a sibling policy. He or she has to get in on their own merit. It would be unfair to the sibling if they could not keep up with the pace.

MomFromSE · 16/02/2023 10:13

@GardeningMUMsw18 Alleyns SEN support is very strong and the school has a particularly strong reputation for drama and the arts more broadly. I have friends with kids at DC who are very happy but as a local parent I would probably suggest Alleyns based on your son's description.

@London2023 when there is a choice between equally strong candidates being a sibling will be a tie breaker. However, plenty of siblings don't get in so its definitely not a sure thing at all.

Mystery2345 · 16/02/2023 15:40

Just to confirm what others have said - no siblings policy at Alleyn's - this was our experience first hand.

minitino · 18/02/2023 17:07

We are also in the same position. Both schools obviously excellent but one he could walk to in the 10-15 mins, the other being a 35 min bus ride. Wondering if anyone has any experience of the extent to which the easier travelling puts a child at ease. DS has always walked to school and we enjoy the ease of this, but assuming as they get older, a bit of travel wouldn’t bother them? He also has a scholarship at one but not the other and wondering if I should stop overthinking this and just take the scholarship for the reduced fees all other things being pretty equal?!

MrsHGWells · 18/02/2023 23:35

DC are doing private visits - just call registrations and book a tour- far more personal and see the school in operation

MomFromSE · 18/02/2023 23:47

35 min bus ride isn’t too bad really but if you really have no preference then the shorter commute would always win out. It’s and extra 40 minutes a day which can be the difference between having the time to pursue a hobby etc.

Catsandchocolate1980 · 04/09/2024 16:47

@GardeningMUMsw18 hello! What happened with this? I came across your post when googling these schools. I have a very musical son now in Y6, at our local primary state school. He is a chorister so is totally immersed in music and very enthusiastic about it (he's also a composer, can sight read a range of classical piano music etc). He might get a music scholarship but we would need financial support to cover the rest, or face a very tough decision about whether to sacrifice quite a lot to put him through private secondary education (he also has a younger sister). If we're doing that, then we have to know we're getting our money's worth of musical provision! Which school did you go for and how is the experience?

Paoli · 26/02/2026 14:11

@GardeningMUMsw18 which school did you end up choosing? Hope your son is happy wherever he is! We have the same decision to make. Would be great to know your experience.

Onemorebubble · 27/02/2026 10:02

We had the same choice last year and went for Alleyn's and would choose it again if we have the choice for our youngest. DC is super happy and has found a brilliant group of friends. They all are like minded kids. He was in a co ed school for primary but most of his friends were boys. This year he has made some good friends with some girls in his class. They encourage you to try everything and you might find something you really enjoy as there is such a wide range of clubs(sports, stem and drama). My son is not a fan of football but had to play football in games lessons but didn't have to play fixtures on the weekend. If i recall at DC there are team A-F that play on weekends. He has discovered hockey which he has never done before and loves it! good luck with your decision @Paoli

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