School behaviour policy and scope of authority

[Smeeth]

My 15 yr son has just been excluded by his school. He had 5 friends at home on friday night supervised by myself with a few beers, later in evening he was filmed by one of the boys making some slightly slurred insensitive race related comments, all the boys were white. One of the boys shared the video without my sons permission to a snapchat group of 20, one of the non-white boys on group shared with his parents who raised a concern over the offensive language to the school. The school behaviour policy only extends off site to education trips and buses and the home is 14 miles from school and boys not wearing school uniform etc. The school have just sanctioned my son not the boy who posted the video without permission. The school conducted a limited investigation and did not establish context or even speak to myself (despite attempts by me to speak to school staff dealing with incident). They have also refused to share redacted copy of the video (all other copies destroyed) son and I have not seen it and redacted copies of the specific complaints
My son is contrite but I have wider concerns on the schools processes, scope of authority and decision making. It has got to the stage I would rather it was a police complaint as he would be dealt with fairly, proportionally and reasonably.

Sorry for long message but lots of issues to unpick, I have raised my concerns at process already with school, I am giving then another 24 hrs to respond before I submit GDPR request and raise complaint to governors.

Any advice precedent. Son and boys have learned lessons but there are some dangerous and worrying wider issues of principle here.

Any legal precedents/advice - I have government policies etc
Thank you.

one of the non-white boys on group shared with his parents who raised a concern over the offensive language to the school.

Reverse the situation @Smeeth: What if your DS had to go to school, knowing another boy had made offensive racist slurs about him?

It's bullying. Your DS was out of order and YABU. Take the punishment and learn fro. it.

If my DS were making stupid racist slurs (to show off?) I'd be taking a long hard look at myself and my values.

"level of offense caused" is irrelevant, and context is irrelevant.

Racist remarks have been made and offense has been caused, its open and shut

Meanwhile some poor teacher or pastoral member of staff has had to deal with this shit all week. The toing and froing from the OP based on an incident that shouldn't have happened in the first place. Schools aren't the police, but they do have behaviour expectations. They don't have the resources of the police to investigate everything in police terms. You're bloody lucky it didn't go to the police and your son doesn't have a warning for racism.

You sound hard work. Take a step back, accept your son was wrong and crack on with your life.

So your son, whilst sober and supervised by you, made racist remarks in a setting where he can reasonably expect to be filmed, and was likely aware of it (I’m going to assume his mates weren’t secretly recording him with a pen camera), and you think the problem is that the school has dared to sanction him with a bloody light sanction?

Im not racist because my friend is black is a ridiculous defence.

Frankly, whether or not anyone targeted saw it to take offence is irrelevant. Those thoughts crossed his mind, apparently whilst sober, and he thought it acceptable to say.

He was racist, and all you’re doing is showing him that the school is the problem, not him. Stop defending him and start working on his attitudes.

He’s a kid and needs to be modelled appropriate attitudes, and you’re not doing that. Thank god the school has stepped up before the police are involved.

I think you need to stop wasting time questioning school policy and look closer to home. Your son needs to learn from this not have you make excuses.

What has your racist son learned from this?

The school wasn't withholding the footage illegally, they were withholding it as the OP hadn't put in the correct formal request for it.

A school does not have to meet legal requirements for proof or follow due process in order to decide to exclude a pupil. The exclusion panel for PEX or the relevant senior member of staff for fixed term exclusions has to be convinced that the offence happened. I'm assuming the video was shared in school, and most schools will have a cyber bullying policy. Give your son a sanction for being racist and send him back with an apology prepared for the pupil to whom he was despicable.

Sharing the video is not illegal.

It isn't making and distributing indecent images of a minor I assume?

Let's imagine a teacher outside of school posted a video of themselves making racist comments. Would you feel the same? No thought not. I think you need to focus instead on the fact that your ds is pissed and making offensive comments about his peers.

Honestly it sounds like the OP would be fine with a teacher making racist comments. Or anybody, really.

What really saddens me about this post is the complete lack of awareness of the impact of using "offensive race related language" as you call it OP and how it impacts those at the receiving end of it.

So here is a personal experience and hopefully after reading this you will understand why the school took the stance that they did.

A child from my DD's primary school said to her that they didn't want to play with her because she is black In year 1. I will never forget the day because it changed my DD's view of the world. My DD came home and asked me, "Am I black? Aged 6, I had to explain to her that we are all human beings, but with different skin colours. This is a conversation many have never and will never have to have with their DC but unfortunately a regular occurance for others. Her view of the world changed because of a statement from another 6 year old who was most likely repeating something they had heard in private.

Subsequent conversations about school have since been I played with x who looks like me or y who looks like Ms T whilst before this incident it was simply i played with X and Y.

So let's teach our DCs to be mindful of the language they use not because it is illegal but because those at the receiving end feel hurt and pain.

So OP using racist language, whether in private or outside the home, on snapchat or on Twitter is not acceptable. It's not banter or for a laugh with mates. Children display what they see and hear at home and those at the receiving end are human beings who equally deserve respect. Sue the school for not following due process should you wish to, but take the time to educate your son on why such language is unacceptable and reasons why the school took the action that it did.

My school used to define a school event as sanctioned or unsanctioned and where five or more students have gathered. There was a reach into parties and several students did get punished for things that happened at homes on weekends.

Clarification: my school growing up. This was part of the behaviour policy we signed