DS so unmotivated with School and GCSE work

[Pojji]

My son has quite bad dyslexia (I do too but his is most definitely worse) I understand the struggle how hard school is and how it feels like you are putting in so much effort to potentially come out with low or no grades at all.

He is in year 11 and has up coming mocks and lots of coursework due in. Trying to get him to engage with it is like getting blood out of a stone. All electronics have been removed so there is no distraction but he sits there with a face like thunder grunting one word answers.
He has one piece of work due in tomorrow and I offered to type for him (teacher suggested this) if he verbally told me what to write. We thought this might make it less daunting for him. Nope- still sat there. Angry with me that I am making him do his work. He keeps saying what's the point. I am just going to fail.

He wants to do something specific for his Art so I went online to our local free page and asked if anyone has the materials he is looking for. I've spent all afternoon driving round to collect the bits which people locally have kindly given for free. He can't even muster a thank you. Won't actually sit down and get on with it either. Earlier he rolled around on the floor like a toddler basically having a tantrum because he doesn't want to do the work.

Has anyone successfully got their child to engage with their work. I am absolutely exhausted from trying to motivate him and doing things to pick up the slack. He literally doesn't seem to care. DP says let him fail but I don't think that's the solution and its just storing up problems for later. I am just trying to help so he gets enough grades to get into college but it feels very futile at the moment and the stress is really getting to me.

He probably does care, just feeling overwhelmed and thinks he is going to fail stuff?
Realistically, what does he need for college and has he a hope of getting the required grades?
Does he have a fall back plan?

My DD who it turns out also has dyslexia ended up not passing any GCSEs for various complicated reasons. The world didn't end, and she is doing her chosen course at college just at a lower level.

I would be thinking strategically, and maybe agreeing to cut loose a couple of subjects if he doesn't have a hope in them, to focus on a smaller number he can pass. better still get school to agree, to lighten timetable and exam season.

Yes good advice from @TeenDivided there.

My DS1 is not very academic (not saying this about your DS btw OP) and the best way to support him, I found, was to take the work away from his desk and his books. We used to go on a walk with a past paper and I would ask him the questions and we would discuss the possible answers. Or a drive in the car often helps teenagers to talk (as you cannot look at them) and you can test them on whatever it might be, from meanings of parts of speech to causes of WW2.

DS did a reduced number of GCSEs from the start (eight not 9/10) which helped. He did really well and got grades that were good enough for his chosen college course, so please don't despair. I know it's hard, esp with subjects that are a closed book (ds really really struggled with English - what does the author mean when...? He would say, how do I know? - but in the end passed L2 functional skills at college).

What coursework does he actually have to do? Very few GCSEs have any element of this now (art does, indeed).

How many GCSEs is he doing and which subjects? Art will soon be out of the way so that will lighten the May/June exam load. Can you focus on the key ones - maths and English and then whatever he wants to do post-16, if appropriate (for DS this was catering GCSE)?

@Pojji tell him that if he fails English and/or Maths he will have to re-sit them next year, and if necessary the year after, so it's worth him putting in the effort now.

Have you tried visual learning? Dc (dyslexic and sen) managed gcses by watching videos. Especially helped with English literature, science and maths.
Flashcards with pictures to aid memory.
Comic book versions of English literature.
It wasn't easy and dc definitely had to put more effort in than most but finding out how best to learn really helped boist confidence. Managed to get enough for level 2 at college then progressed to level 3. Which we could never have anticipated during gcse years.

Thanks for all the advice. He is only doing 8 GCSEs....no language and he only chose 3 subjects instead of 4. He is still really struggling.

He has coursework for food tech, they have their mock practical on Friday and he has to have everything ready. His meal plans and how he came to choose them etc. It doesn't sound like a lot of work but he is so slow that it takes him forever to do even the smallest bit of work.
He doesn't really enjoy any of the subjects he has taken but he has very little in the way of hobbies. Very much a gamer and solitary creature. He loves spending time with his friends but is not very academic at all. He is also ASD so I think a lot of the resistance is part of that. He hates being out of his comfort zone.

Thats encouraging that he could do college potentially at a lower level to start off with. He is interested in going into nursing/radiography but I think he will really struggle to get the grades. I have tried to encourage him into a trade or IT but he is adamant he is not interested so I have to respect his decision.

He is interested in going into nursing/radiography but I think he will really struggle to get the grades.

Nursing is degree level now isn't it?

Maybe look at health & social care extended diploma BTEC if he's not up to A levels. He could start at Level 2 (or even level 1) whilst resitting English if need be.

Agree it is a pain resitting maths & English at college. Also a pain, pushing yourself up to GCSE grade 3 when you haven't a realistic chance of a 4 and then having to redo GCSE rather than being allowed to do functional skills.

Science is important for anything health care related.

(In case you aren't aware he can do 3 years at college if needed.)

Well the good news is that he can get into nursing via college courses, he will need GCSEs to do a Level 3 course but it's possible to progress via a level 1 and level 2 course.

Level 1 is GCSE lower grades, it used to be D-G grades so is not 1, 2 or 3 so if he can scrape English and maths and a couple of others he can get on a level 2 course.

I have found 'little and often' works well with dyslexic students, 15 mins English and maths every day then 15 mins of another subject rotating through them.

BUT he needs a break between the 15 mins and I'd probably let him have his electronics for those breaks.

I'm dyslexic and I found it easier to revise early morning before school.

What software does he have? I use inspiration and read write and via voice.

Maybe look at health & social care extended diploma BTEC if he's not up to A levels. He could start at Level 2 (or even level 1) whilst resitting English if need be.

BTECS are a fantastic alternative BUT you need to hit the ground running with coursework as each part immediately counts towards your final grade.

Good luck OP.

I think he has applied to do a BTEC in health and social care at college so its really encouraging that he can do lower levels if need be. He is a clever boy in many respects, however his autism makes him appear to be a lot younger than he is. He is nearly 16 but to me more like a 13 year old. His learning is probably around that level too.
I know it effects him massively in terms of self confidence etc.

I think he would be great in radiography. I think he would struggle with poop etc in nursing but we will see.

I will try the 15 mins things. Maybe I am thinking too big and its overwhelming him

These days technology is life, not just for teens but for all of us. It is how we all communicate with our friends, entertain ourselves ext ,just as you are doing on Mumsnet now.
Everybody needs down time. Without his technology what can he do in the house when not doing work? Physical activity is good but he also needs down time at home.
I understand where you are coming from op as our dgs is struggling at the moment BB it I think you might have a better outcome if you negotiate some tech time with him. It can't hurt as he isn't working so maybe worth a try. You need to give him an time to get going though. Don't take it off him if he isn't getting totally going in a week. If he's doing a bit more it's an improvement. 💐

My DS is year 10 also has severe dyslexia, also does minimal/ no homework. Had a really similar scenario driving around hunting down art materials for him then he didn't even bother to do the project on time. So frustrating and so worrying.