Behaviour in school ruining it

[mamnotmum]

My daughter is in y8. She's very academic and well behaved.

The behaviour of kids in her school is so bad that they've started 'removing privileges'. They now can't use the toilet when they need it (yes really - they are locked other than at lunchtime!), they must carry all belongs with them (all books plus pe kit and after school clubs clothes) because they aren't allowed in the building apart from for lessons, they can't use catering at break times anymore and so on.

The school is 'outstanding' by an old ofsted and highly oversubscribed.

SURELY punishing everyone is just unfair. What is the point in being good? She's so miserable as she feels the atmosphere is so negative and she's constantly 'told off' as part of the whole class.

Her best friend is at the school and she's the only reason we don't consider a move (although I'm not sure it's even possible based on waiting lists etc) I've emailed and rang the school and am awaiting their response.

We had a similar thing in our eldest child's primary. Very well behaved, never in trouble etc.

They started doing class punishments resulting in less play or no play, and anything remotely fun removed ad-hoc based on certain childrens misbehaving.

The Head assured everyone they didn't believe in group punishments, but it kept happening so we moved our child. He want from being unhappy 3/4 times a week to being happy virtually everyday. I think some of the issue if they used to send kids to a different class when misbehaving, but couldn't due to covid rules so didn't know how to deal with it.

Secondary is a bit different, but for us it was the best decision.

It isn't fair perhaps, but schools can't win. The last couple of days there was a thread where the OP was complaining bitterly about parents receiving information about poor behaviour and half the posters weighed in with how awful it was that schools policed behaviour and reported it to parents. Apparently it damages their kids mental health, being expected to be on time, to be in lessons, to not backchat teachers, or to not be nipping to the loo every two minutes to duck classes. I don't know what the answer is because schools are damned whatever they do.

I think you probably haven't a clue as to how bad behaviour is in schools. This will effect your daughter whether she's naughty or not.
I get why you're annoyed but it sounds like she's at least at a school that gives a crap and is doing something about it. Not all are and parents really don't have a clue how bad behaviour is in classrooms at the moment.

Worked in schools for 40 years+ now happily retired. I loved teaching, made it my life’s work. The deterioration in behaviour over the last 20 years nis beyond belief. I was considered a good teacher, got good results and was respected by students and parents I always chose difficult schools to work in, but cannot believe the way children behave these days.

Until parents take responsibility for their children’s wider behaviour, instil a sense of respect for the importance of education and an understanding that society works best when we all work together - teachers, parents, children and schools - will continue to be places of conflict and chaos. Many children and teachers will continue to suffer at the hands of a minority, who just do not understand how to behave, often raised by people who model very poor behaviour in the way they behave and live their lives.

Children need to have routines and consistency. A child with SEN, particularly need these. Children need to know their parents care about their future. Most importantly they need to know there will be consequences of disruptive behaviour which decimates the classroom learning environments for children like the OP’s.

Most children and their parents are lovely, some lovely parent(s) have naughty children. Any child who is disruptive at school is almost certainly like that at home so the parents know already. Most naughty children have parents who are either clueless or who march into school/post on line and blame the teachers. How does this help the child? Teachers have never been as good or as well trained as they are now, but children’s behaviour has never been worse.

The vast majority of children I have worked with have been lovely, intelligent, quirky young people. I have found great joy working with children whose SEN affects their behaviour and found they are rarely the main problem, once their needs are met.

I suspect many parents have no idea what their disruptive child’s behaviour towards peers, teachers and in lessons is really like. I used to sometimes wish I could show them; I am sure they would be shocked. Given that most children are ambitious, compliant and respectful, it is only a small number of children not complying and being disruptive. If I wrote down examples of what I have seen and experienced I would be writing for hours.

I realise it's a wider issue. That behaviour is really bad at the moment. But to me THAT is what needs addressing. Teachers need the authority to escalate through a behaviour policy to swiftly deal with individuals.

I agree children ducking out of lessons to go to the toilet isn't acceptable but then address that. Don't stop teenage girls who are negotiating the joys of becoming a woman not go to the toilet for hours on end. Issuing blanket punishments are not sensible.

I've spoken to the school now and am concerned that I heard a lot of 'well I don't know why that has been said, let me look into it'. I'm assured that these new rules are not punishments but are to help manage behaviour yet the children were told 'we are revoking your privileges'. I feel there's a lot of staff not on the same page.

I fully support harsher punishments and a clamp down on bad behaviour but it feels like the solution is put them all outside where we don't have to deal with them and only allow them in for lessons which isn't so much of dealing with it as just ignoring it! Meanwhile the kids who genuinely want to learn and access the facilities can't. It makes me so sad because my daughter is your typical A student who gets full marks in every test and used to love learning and extra curricular activities etc and she now cries weekly at the thought of school

The thing is that if you treat everyone like they are a criminal they will behave badly because you've told them they do. They can't win. Not letting people use the toilet in lesson time is not about mental health or 'snowflake'ness it's about acknowledging that young people are human beings with normally functioning bodies.

As a parent I do take responsibility for my children's behaviour but that doesn't mean assuming they are little shits as a default state. Quite the opposite.

This post is so sad. Also a post I read recently saying 40% of parents didn’t turn up to parents evening.
I find it totally incredible and wish I could truly understand the cause.

This is part of the reason why Teachers are striking today. Education and social services have been underfunded for a decade now and it has unfortunately spiralled into this situation where we are now.

Classroom numbers are larger than ever before, there are less teaching assistants, social services have been underfunded and thus struggling families have not received the support needed, everyone is struggling with the cost of living and, of course, Covid happened.

Behaviour is significantly poorer and teachers are exhausted. Support the strikes and the calls to improve the situation in schools across Britain.