SW London Private & Grammar: applying for year 7 in 2023

[QuiteAJourney]

Following up from
www.mumsnet.com/talk/secondary/4716365-sw-london-private-grammar-applying-for-year-7-in-2023-part-iii?page=40

Sharing the journey

Anyone going for interviews at St James this weekend?

@PreplexJ I don't doubt that some people are doing 1-2 hours per day through Y5 (and more, even...!) I was just saying that I do know plenty of people who've got into top schools with nothing like that amount of prep, and that it's just about knowing your DC (and their current level / capacity) and what you're comfortable with doing as a parent. I just didn't want the implication that that level of prep is universal, or necessary in every case.

@LondonMum20222 I have to say based on my observation sample size, it is the majority case I recent years (well of course not every case).

@PreplexJ We must have very different samples! In Y5 most of my DD's friends have so many extra curricular activities going on, they simply wouldn't have time to do that level of prep!

To be clear, the intensity levels my DD doing 11+ prep is on the average or the lower level among the parents I know of in the past 3 years.

The sample size cover the full range (state / prep / private, boys/girls, North South/West London, European/East Asian /South Asian /mixed families, grammar and private ).

Parents should do their own duo diligence to verify this. But I think it is important to be informed the upfront what kind of efforts to be expect ..

Although individual circumstances vary. We found the most effective thing ( I hope!!) we did was work on timing. So not do hours and hours but practice timings per question with a stop watch. Also knowing when to skip a question in a exam so not to waste time. I don't know if that may be useful for anyone...

The grammars in particular were extremely time pressured. I don't know how anyone unless (given a score before allocation day) would be certain they had secured a grammar place.

In terms of Grammar or Private our top three are WHS/LEH or TGS. If we are offered TGS (very unlikely given how hard DD found it!) we would take it in an heartbeat and not for financial reasons but for the reason it outperforms in results/Oxbridge etc. We probably wouldn't however take the comprehensive alternative to the independent options however, again for the same reasons.

LU is a top choice for us and the timing of the email felt somewhat harsh - a sort of ‘look at how great our school is and what you could have, but might not get’.

At another point in the process or if it wasn’t a top choice for us, I’m sure I wouldn’t be reacting so sensitively to it. It just feels slightly mean of them to send it whilst knowing that the process is done for my DC, there’s nothing more we can do about it, decisions are likely already made and we may or may not ending up get an offer from them.

I have similar discussion with my colleagues the other day, I think probably not that important, my DD might do well in a local comprehensive anyway.

Probably because we don't want to be regret, DCs only have one chance of 11-18, and house extensions or few years earlier retirement probably less important compared to that.

I see a difference between the state and private school kids for sport. In state primary, they really don't do much sport compared to the private schools in our area. Our state school is also a year behind private. My dd gets frustrating repeating things she learned after one lesson. I know in secondary they have different sets, but I cannot be sure it will be much better than the primary. We have enough to send our dc to private, so we decided to make the investment. Although, it is still a lot of money to part with! We do also have a grandparent who is willing to contribute to anything the dc need, so that helps if we ever need some help in the future. We do not rely on this of course, but the money is there if we ever need it.

Thanks HighRopes this offers me hope!

PreplexJ I agree different schools will be very different. Ours randomly does alot of french!!
DS has about 1.5 hours of homework a week but I should think an extra hour a day of lessons (though some of this will be French/ DT/Art/Music/Drama) so say an extra hour a week of lessons. So I should think compared to our local primary he is doing an extra say 3 hours of 'work' a week. And it will be a bit more focussed. Our old primary had 3 school years in one class and DS was just drifting along.
So we can say some people are doing 1 -2 hours per day = 5-10 hours per week and DS is doing say 4-5hours.
I think for alot of families lockdown exposed how little was happening at school..

Yea, I get this as well. The schools we applied did not send anything, but I get that sending this newsletter is like a reminder "remember us, we are here!" Like they are trying to sell the school, but not nice for the ones who do not get offers.

@SamPoodle123

You should see the email. It was no ordinary newsletter, but a massive PR effort on how great the school is and what it has to offer. Video attachments and a case study on someone who went to MIT afterwards.

I am honestly so exhausted by the process.

Yes, I have to say during the whole process my dd kept all her activities and even added some! This meant daily activities and 3 of the days she actually had two activities!!! I wanted her to pause one or two but she was insistent to keep all.

Terrible! If sent to people with offers only, that is fine, but if its sent to people who do not get offers, really not nice!

I’d also like to add that I see a lot of these secondary schools place a lot of emphasis on mental health - yet take no account of it in their admissions process!

If you are coming from a school where not many kids are going through the process, it is much better as your DC doesn’t have the constant comparison with how their peers are doing. At my DC’s prep, they tell the kids not to talk about it, but I know they all do. There have been children really wounded by the process already, and that’s even before the final results are out.

I think it sounds strange / not-well-thought either way. If sending it to everyone, not nice for those not getting an offer. If sent only to those with offer, that is not a way to signal who has got an offer / didn't (why not wait until offers are made but before acceptance deadline?)

It sounds really tough. We are at a state school so do not experience this at all. None of my dd friends did the 11+.

I would love for this system to change. What message does it send to ten year old? Go through lots of revisions, exams and interviews and then you possibly get nothing at the end of it all? You have to be pretty resilient to deal with that.

It is the way the schools (even in the same area) don’t line up their admissions processes that has struck me as the worst - some doing exams before Christmas, some doing exams after Christmas. And all the emails throughout the process about without your DC made the cut to the next round of school X whilst still doing exams for school Y and interviews for school Z.

I get that it’s competitive, but why can’t the schools consider lining up their processes more?

@SamPoodle123 in year 5, we kept most the extra activities too including music instruments, dancing, arts and she actually pick up extra sports.. Plus extra Summer holidays!

Well I know some other parents stop all these but good balance is important.

@Running247 do you know anyone that did not receive it?

@PreplexJ not sure how you managed to fit all this in your DS/DD's day.. You are like a super hero lool
My DD is in private school but when she comes home after school and her activities 3/4 days a week, she had snack and maybe do school homework or Atom for 30 min. Then it is time for shower and dinner and reading a book in bed. I cant imagine having the time to make her do 1 or 2h work everyday.
Are you planning to continue that amount of work in secondary?
We decide not to tutor our kids (nor for 11+ or 7+). I made sure they were doing their homework from school and we did a few extra maths paper during holidays. Maybe that was not enough.. probably. From where I come tutoring is when you struggle in a subject, not to try to be more advanced than the other kids. I have always wonder what the children will do in secondary in the first 2/3 years in maths as they all know everything already... are they just enjoying their childhood at that point then? Are all the kids who have had large amount of tutoring continuing in secondary school? This system will probably never make sense for me. I paid for private school so I don t have to supplement the teaching but it seems that people have to supplement even in private .

We “officially” started March of Year 5, with a tutor twice a week. Aimed for an hour a day study time before summer and 1.5hrs a day Sept onwards though it averaged at an hour daily as DC carried on with all his sports as before (5 days a week).

DC is at state school so had no experience of exam techniques, no Reasoning and had a huge gap to fill in Maths and Literacy.

If I knew what I know now, I would start mid Y4, do a little (20 mins) everyday (Atom?) without pressure and set the pace early as I realised along the way DC was a late bloomer though he did well at the end so very proud of him.

This resonates with us as well. Cant say DC “enjoyed” the process but he has definitely gained a lot in confidence, time management and study discipline - all in all steps in the right direction in the run up to secondary.

@Lolakath19

I only know from one other parent at my DC’s prep that they received the email (plus you did too) - so sample of 3 for sure :-)

Having said that, I have not asked around so have assumed everyone who got through to stage 2 of LU received the email because I can’t believe they would send it out selectively at this stage of the process (surely that wouldn’t be allowed for GDPR or whatever?).

It was ill-judged IMHO, especially as the email references enjoying meeting my DC but with no caveats about tough decisions having to be made over the next weeks etc. Just a hard sell on how great the school is!!