Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Help! 14 DS says he tried to get on dating app

4 replies

SourDoe · 18/01/2023 13:55

My DS (age 14) claimed he had tried to get on Tinder but was kicked off because of his age. A teacher at school heard this and has logged it as a safeguarding incident.

Obviously I’m concerned and I’ll be discussing this with him when he gets home, checking phone and putting measures in place. I check his phone regularly and have never seen any sign of this although that doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened. He’s very honest with us usually but I realise this will start to change as he gets older so maybe this is the start of that phase.

I’m not sure how worried I should be about the safeguarding part. Is this normal? Should I expect a flow up? I’m grateful to his teacher for picking the conversation up and for letting me know. His teacher said they saw no evidence of Tinder on his phone and my DS is known to exaggerate stories to fit in, although I appreciate it would irresponsible of them to assume this is the case. He has ASD and other high functioning SEN and so communication can sometimes be challenging.

I’ve obviously been a bit naive thinking that I could trust him on his phone as much as I have and now I feel awful that he could have been made vulnerable by this.

OP posts:
Untitledsquatboulder · 19/01/2023 06:36

It sounds like he tried to register an account and was unable to get past the age verification process. So yes a safe guarding concern and yes you need to talk to him in very clear terms about Internet safety. Possibly repeatedly.

Making a safeguarding report is utterly normal in the sense that teachers are legally obliged to record and report any such incidents.

PortiasBiscuit · 19/01/2023 06:38

He’s 14, he wants a girlfriend. He didn’t get onto Tinder. Have a word with him but he’s likely to be mortified so I wouldn’t over think this.

SpaceMonitor · 19/01/2023 07:03

This doesn’t sound like anything to be worried about. He either tried to do something harmless or he lied about trying to do something harmless to fit in. Either way, what he was trying to access wasn’t harmful.

EduCated · 19/01/2023 10:32

It sounds like all the processes that should have kicked in did so - the app kicked him off (assuming it’s true) and school flagged the concern.

Keep talking to him about safety and hammering home the messages, but as pushing the boundaries go, it’s a level of curiosity and being a bit of a tit. I would be far more concerned if he had claimed to have actually got on and been messaging people, or pretending to be older than he is.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page