SW London Private & Grammar - applying for year 7 in 2023 (Part III)

[QuiteAJourney]

Continuation from

www.mumsnet.com/talk/secondary/4697901-sw-london-private-grammar-applying-for-year-7-in-2023-part-ii?page=40&reply=122947087

An opportunity for parents of DC applying to private and grammar schools in SW London for entry in year 7 in 2023 to share their journeys.

For those asking earlier. I work in a prep and we always get results for each stage of the process before the parents.

Yes, my dd gets incredibly frustrated with this. But tbh during lockdowns we did not do much school work, other then the minimum they sent. I just a baby (dc3) 2 months before the pandemic started.....so homeschooling with a new baby was not ideal! It would have been way easier for me to just plonk dd1 in front of atom learning daily for some 11+ prep lol....but we did not know we would do 11+ until end of year 5.

Someone mentioned secondary schools need to take a certain amount of state school dc and you have a better chance at getting in coming from a state school. Not sure if this is true at all. Does anyone know anything about this?

Do you think state school heads do as well?

I am going to ask my head directly if the schools have been in contact with her in regards to dd. When I mentioned the outcome so far she seemed like she did not know anything and was like oh well done! hmmm

Wow! That seems like a very tedious job. I am imagining that it would be an arduous task for popular senior schools to inform hundreds of different prep schools in addition to informing both the parents.

I may be wrong but I don't think the heads will find out whether DCs have an actual place until the day before the offers go out or thereabouts.

And @SamPoodle123 - I don't think our state school head heard anything until the final offers and I'm not sure they heard from every school either.

Our state school head has only received 1 email from 1 of the schools our child got through informing them of the result. They were not told for the other few.

I don't know the difference between state v private applications for all schools and assume it would vary throughout the various levels of indies. All I know is that there is no exam difference, they've got to perform as well as their prep peers-which considering the differences in the level of teaching and curriculum can feel 'interesting' at times! So I would say any slight 'advantage' they may have with application numbers, is definitely balanced out by the knowledge gaps they have comparatively.

No idea about state I'm afraid.
@woohooho that's right, we only know offers shortly before parents. Usually the day before.

I do find all these comments about state versus prep applicants (and what a huge "advantage" prep school kids have) interesting. It does seem a tad hypocritical from parents who are about to shell out c.£250-300k on the next seven years of their child's private education. I wonder if you'll still all be of the same opinion about how unfair it is on state school kids in 7 years' time when your (privately educated) DCs will be applying to uni, having had an elite education for the entirety of their teens?

It would be really good if this thread could just do what it does best - parents supporting each other during what is a stressful process (wherever your DC currently goes to school) rather than a state / private debate (which I'm sure is happening elsewhere on plenty of other threads on MN if that's the debate people want to have!)

Our prep school head said the process has changed this year (current 11+ cohort) because of new data protection legislation; in the past, prep school heads would get the lists of candidates that went through rounds or got offers to senior schools in advance of parents being informed (several days in advance in some cases). But as of this year, the prep schools get told on the same day as the parents being informed. So they may know a few hours before the emails to parents get sent out, but not much more than that.

However, I don’t know how this translates in terms of timings of senior schools informing state schools.

@Firenze12 does it also depend on the relationship between the head of prep school and the senior school? Is it wrong to assume that the team of bute house/pembridge hall/Kensington prep etc would definitely be more in sync with the admission results of SPGS/G&L/LU etc rather than a lesser known prep schools with not so popular destination schools?

Is it not against GDPR rules for the senior schools to be sending all this info to the preps? Have you consented to this info being shared?

Can I make a plea that we collectively seek to refocus the thread on supporting each other rather that entering into somewhat pointless debates about state vs private (which seem to reappear every couple of weeks)?

Each one of us has done and continues to do what we think is best for our DCs, state or prep / tutoring or not, etc, within our circumstances and preferences. Let's not judge each other or make assumptions or generalisations, celebrate that we are a "broad church" and relish the opportunity to share information, download concerns and support each other.

Recent messages supporting one of our "virtual gang" show how supportive this community can be. Hopefully other people will not find themselves in that situation, but it is nice to know that hopefully, state or prep, the community is here.

In the past Senior school admission depts kept prep and state primary schools in the loop, they sent each school a simple list saying XYZ have passed to the second stage etc. I think everyone on this thread is overthinking this process, dc apply from all sorts of schools and the secondary schools have a system to offer to the pupils they want many of whom will reject the offer. State/prep/role of head teacher etc are tiny parts of the process and not worth focusing on.

I don’t think it is hypocritical - perhaps we are applying for bursaries.

Whether people are applying for bursaries is immaterial. Everyone on this thread is trying to access private secondary education, so to obsess over the prep vs state primary issue (and how much the former are supposedly at an advantage in this process) does seem hypocritical to me (given that if everyone's DCs get into private secondary, they'll be at a huge advantage too). I don't know if you've been following the thread for a while, but it's been a running theme for quite some time.

As @QuiteAJourney says, let's refocus the thread on doing what it does best - parents supporting each other through a tough process.

I don't mind parents talking about state vs prep or other matters. It is good to know what people are thinking (and not willing to say in public).

I was just replying to your comment “ a tad hypocritical from parents who are about to shell out c.£250-300k on the next seven years …”.

There is not too much info for us state applicants so it was nice to discuss with others their experiences as it can get lonely! . Was really not intended as a inflammatory debate!

@AC7001 I am all for freedom of expression too. I just think that, when a topic has been discussed several times and does not generate much apart from division in an otherwise supportive community, it is best put to rest (or at least to give it a rest for the time being)

Agreed… State/Private, ‘Asian/European’ (eye roll), Tutored/Gifted, Tiger mum/can’t be arsed

all so subjective and slightly pointless heresay…

Let them express themselves. In such a stressful state as we are all in now, it is good to have place for one to openly express his or her views and release the pressure.

@AC7001 As far as I can see, nobody has said anything about people not expressing themselves.

My plea, that those that have been in the thread from the beginning have seen me doing at periodical intervals when the conversations got into a divisive loop, is to avoid pitching one group of mums against others or making generic statements and to focus on supporting each other. That is very much the spirit of every intervention I have made and the reason I continue to contribute.

If have official statistics then it is statement of fact , not subjective and heresay.. And there is also common consensus...

I understand the process is cruel and tough for all us. That is the exact reason I am taking a more critical thinking and discussion.

Well I guess mums just want to here more positive supportive stories on this thread.

@PreplexJ I so welcome statistics and critical thinking (very much aligned with my professional background and preferences) and do not think for a moment that this should be a forum devoted to positive stories only - support would not be needed if that was the case!

We are all (private/state, tutored/not, different ethnic backgrounds and nationalities) going through a stressful process and I, genuinely and naively, thought that would be enough to focus on what is common (wanting to do the best for our DC) and to share objective information (be it statistics or first hand information) and advice. I really want to believe that we can focus on that - not necessarily positive stories but hopefully constructive discussions.