SW London Private & Grammar - applying for year 7 in 2023 (Part III)

[QuiteAJourney]

Continuation from

www.mumsnet.com/talk/secondary/4697901-sw-london-private-grammar-applying-for-year-7-in-2023-part-ii?page=40&reply=122947087

An opportunity for parents of DC applying to private and grammar schools in SW London for entry in year 7 in 2023 to share their journeys.

@PreplexJ , there are lots of London families that prefer coed schools, due to having both sons and daughters. Coed schools preference over single sex due to culture, parents background being coed etc. If you check coed schools travel plan you see the wide areas of London their school buses or travel suggestions cover.

Did anyone attend NHEHS interview last week? How was it? My child came out happy.

This is simply untrue. I'm assuming you haven't had a child sit for any of those schools at 4+. Girls absolutely are not expected to be able to read and write already (in fact, the schools would rather they didn't since they then just have to unpick bad habits), no child is asked to "memorise passages they are given" or any other "memory tests". The 4+ exams for those schools - like pretty much every other 4+ in London - is play-based, with puzzles, jigsaws, stories and the like. It's really unhelpful to other parents to post things that simply aren't true.

@HawaiiWake thanks, yes Coed is getting more popular in London recent years.

In our situation we applied for a Coed school with consideration on DS in mind (school run would be so much easier) but DD seems to prefer single sex schools even she is from Coed primary school background.

For my DS I would definitely influence him to consider Coed school though.

Is Co Ed genuinely more popular or just because more schools are moving to Co Ed as financially it means they are more likely to fill the places? We genuinely didn’t mind, Co Ed would have been better for us as we have boy and girls but our children actually had a preference for single sex as they are very sporty so wanted the dedicated resource for single sex. Ultimately though we would have gone for either. They are all very happy at single sex schools as that is just the way it worked out.

I am curious what your head said? I think honesty is the best policy for kids, but there must be a way to soften the blow? Although, all through the 11+ process I reminded my dd how difficult and compétitive it is, how we would be lucky to get one offer etc. So she understands it is not a sure thing just because we have interviews....

@Lolakath19 your post is such a good reminder amongst all this frenzy of the relevance of all this. The difference between the schools is so minimal that a DC with the effort and resilience they have shown through this process will do well. It is so easy to get taken in by all these stats that are published....

For the Interview offer stage - and where possible for offers stage as well - he was clear, boys are advised to say they pulled out of the process (perhaps they didn’t like the school or had a bad experience )

He is advising though for boys not to be discussing exams in/out of the school; where possible school is stopping/limiting conversations within school

For example, we have no clue which interviews DS’s best friend has, and they’re pretty close!

DS is at LU. There are a lot of European families there who definitely prefer Co-Ed and cat really get there head around single sex education.

@LoveMyADHD oh wow, I am surprised the head would say this! Basically, lie!? The dc at the school must feel a lot of pressure. I guess we are lucky bc the numbers that ever apply to British private school at my dd is so low....she never felt any pressure. I can understand not discussing with everyone where you apply, but a very close friend.....to me it is strange not to discuss...

Sorry, my point was that these schools are selective and so there is no surprise that many girls go to spgs, it is not that those schools have a direct line to spgs or g&l. My youngest daughter, is in fact, at one of these schools - she had a very fun ‘interview’ yes, puzzles and games - the headmistress said later they like to look for girls with a good memory. Mine said she read a short poem and then was asked later if she could repeat any of it, at least that is what my 3-year-old told me, which could be false but seemed to align with what the headmistress mentioned. I can’t speak to all of these schools as we only applied to one, but I assumed they were all similar. I have two older children at non-selective private schools and they actually had more homework than she does at her age.

@Wlondonmum2022 why did you send your older two dc to non selective and decide to send your youngest to selective? Just curious really. It is funny you mention the homework thing....my niece is at a feeder school to SPGS, G&L and LU and the school gives NO homework! I was surprised....but guess what....all the parents give their kids their own extra homework and I am guessing the school knows this goes on so does not want to give additional.

I can see why you see it like this, I guess they’re trying to protect kids mental health ; perhaps better to lie than being told you’re worse than others?

And yes sadly there is a lot of pressure in that school, it is a proper hot house ; they’re doing all they can to minimise the impact on all of us

process is so crap we do all we can to survive!

P.S even schools like St Benedict that were considered back ups, had their most applicants ever - they announced highest results ever with a huge impact on numbers . It’s just very very hard in Sw/W London these days 😕

Yes, I totally agree with you that it's no surprise that a fair number of girls at selective preps end up at one of the Hammersmith schools (be it SPGS, G&L or LU). I'm surprised that anyone is surprised by it, to be honest! In the same way (as discussed on this thread) that you'd expect a school selecting at 11 to get higher-than-average A Level grades / top uni offers, equally a school that selects at 4 or 7 (and for all highly sought-after occasional places in between), it's not that surprising that they'd get a higher-than-average acceptance rate to selective secondaries.

I think there is a huge misunderstanding regarding even the most selective schools offers. Even SPGS have a decent waiting list and go down it quite a bit every year- I have two children in secondary my older daughter decided the culture at SPGS wasn’t for her and choose another Hammersmith school…. It was the right choice for her, and she knows many other girls who did the same thing. This myth that no one turns down SPGS is just PR…. Many do and for very valid reasons and waitlist places are offered well into the summer term regularly . I wonder if those applying this year have seen the make up of the cohort of the current year seven…. It’s very Asian heavy to the point of the few Caucasian girls being an anomaly - this has been progressively so over the years and really does change the culture of a school and is not unique to SPGS ofcourse. Again it’s just an observation from many who have considered it .Many European parents I know of very bright DDs feel very strongly about Co-Ed and the direction The world is going in Aligns more with that education model. I echo another poster above- go to the school you’re considering and see if you can see
you DC among them- it’s much more important than the kudos of a school.

@LoveMyADHD yikes, but isnt the reason for higher number of applicants bc more and more people are applying to more schools? Therefore, more offers will have to be made to offset the dc who get offers to more then one so have to turn down some?

I would think it is better to be honest, as it makes it seem shameful if you did not get an offer, so you need to lie about it? But I guess they must feel it is better this way and being in a school that is a hot house must feel very stressful for the kids during this time. I try to manage expectations by explaining just because we have interviews does not guarantee anything.

I just hope if we get an offer, it comes first so we can feel more relaxed on what is to come.

@Hannah297 "It’s very Asian heavy to the point of the few Caucasian girls being an anomaly - this has been progressively so over the years and really does change the culture of a school and is not unique to SPGS ofcourse"

Well if look at SPGS grammar competitors (HBS or TGS), SPGS is actually very ethically diversed and not Asian heavy at all - DD was sitting at second round HBS exam and felt she is not in London.

And 100% agree on the family and culture background cohort do play an important part shaping the school culture forward.

My prep has also advised/requested the children not to discuss the results within themselves. This is to protect any unsuccessful candidate from feeling hurt or embarrassed. They have been taught that all schools around them are excellent and every student will eventually get to study in the right school for them. During a recent play date at my home post a big results day, there was no discussion about 11+.

@Hannah297 It's great that your daughter found the right school for her. But I'm not sure that the SPGS wait list thing is PR: it's not as if SPGS are saying any of this themselves. It's purely statistical, from looking at the offers and leavers' destinations at top London preps. A handful of schools make up about 40% of offers, and if you look at those stats, maybe one or two a year turn down a place. If you extrapolate that out for the rest of the cohort, you might be looking at half a dozen who turn down places. The PPs who've discussed this were talking about that available data.

As regards your comment re it being very "Asian-heavy" and "the few Caucasian girls being an anomaly" I think I'd probably consider the language I was using in a public forum before making statements like that. Also, it's patently not true if you visit the school.

It was a combination of not being entirely happy with the school the older kids are at but not enough to change them to a new school and we also moved so the journey to the selective school was fairly easy.

Ah yes, that makes sense.

I don’t see anything in my statement that I need to be careful about it’s purely an observation firsthand and yes having a cohort whether it’s fully American or French or Russian or Asian does change the dynamic and culture of the school not saying it’s bad or good, but it is very specific. There is nothing offensive about it and I’m sorry you found it so it seems whatever people say these days someone is offended. London is diverse and I personally love that I would like my children to go to a diverse school with a healthy mix - what’s the harm in that? Others might feel differently and that is totally fine. It’s their prerogative and I’m not offended.

In a given year, how many girls do you believe turn down SPGS? And turning it down for any reason, financial, moving out of London, etc.

I really don’t think I can give you an educated answer on that, but having 2 daughters who have gone through the process in both of their year groups, I have seen girls turn it down and girls get places on the waitlist quite late in the game, that is all I can say it could’ve been of course that particular cohort , but that was within the last four years so must be somewhat accurate

Loving your Prep 😍