Obsessing about schools

[grumpycook]

DS is in Year 2 and we recently moved to the UK. We chose not to stay in London as we had my brother staying at outside of London and work from home meant we did not have to travel to London for work very often. DS is quite bright and I did not know a lot about the schooling system in the UK aka eleven plus, etc. Knowing now how competitive secondary school admissions are, I feel we are losing out on good education by not staying in London. DH is also very focused about education etc but doesn't really understand the importance of good grammar schools. We have a few options for grammar schools around where we stay but obviously not as good as those in london. I am worried I will not be able to convince DH about moving to London for this. I am really stressed thinking about the lack of good peer group DS will have in the school options we have here.

In the kindest possible way, get a grip. There are schools out if London that are better and worse than those in London. Grammar isn't the be all end all either, a comprehensive can be just as good, if not better. I wouldn't move to London just for the schools.

Why do you think he wouldn't have good peer groups where you are? What if you moved to London & he didn't get into a grammar school? There are excellent schools all over the country, grammar & otherwise. The good results at super selective grammar schools are a direct result of their selective intake & little to do with some magic grammar school teaching formula.

Most areas of UK including inner London do not have state grammar schools. They are far from the be all and end all. Even if you relocated there is no guarantee your ds would qualify. Whereabouts are you now?

Where are you now? There are areas outside London with very good schools

What’s a ‘good peer group?’

We stay at Buckingham

Buckinghamshire is 1 of the few grammar school areas in the UK, there are large parts of the UK like East Anglia with virtually no grammar schools. Try the elevenplusexams.co.uk website for a list of bucks grammar schools.

Don't believe what you read about secondary schools on MN. The vast vast majority of British children don't go to any kind of selective school and do extremely well if they're capable and with involved and committed parents.

Buckinghamshire is a grammar school area isn't it?

London as a whole isn't.

There are 13 grammar schools in Buckinghamshire. If your son doesn't qualify some of the Upper Schools are less than desirable largely due to having 30% of the children at grammar schools.

You have a grammar school on your doorstep in Buckingham, as Buckinghamshire is a grammar school county?

Yes, I am aware of the grammar schools in Buckinghamshire. But is the quality of education the same across all grammar schools? If yes, why are some of them so sort after, eg QE boys etc.?

Okay, thinking about it, have you been looking at the league tables with the top schools, like QE Boys etc?

There are some amazing schools in London, which top the league tables. A lot are super selective, so the brightest children get in, from a huge area around. No catchment. They achieve amazing results partly because they select the brightest children.

Bucks grammars do achieve high results, but take a broader group of children. Top 30%?

To be honest, your child is likely to do equally well, regardless of which school they are at. Don't get fixated on league tables.

They are sought after because of the bragging rights. They are extremely competitive & only take the very brightest. Children who get into those schools would have done equally well elsewhere.

Cross post, and I see you were thinking about QE Boys...it's because they select the very brightest. They are not the same as Bucks Grammar schools.

Also, there is a obsession with education in that area of London and in Hertfordshire. Not a bad thing, but it is definitely a bubble. (I have a dc at a part selective nearby).

11 plus forum is very helpful if you want to look into it more.

Thanks, will read up more on this :) Just that back in India where I came from, secondary schools didn't matter so much and I don't think my parents put so much thought into my schools (and I ended up pretty decent I believe). But , talking to people around including close friends I started feeling my son will miss out on opportunities because of our decision to not stay in London

@grumpycook But your child will have other opportunities due to moving out of London. If he's bright he'll get into a Buckinghamshire grammar and get the same results as he would in a London school. Don't over think it!

Thank you not over-thinking is a 2023 resolution, haha!

@grumpycook haha I'm on another thread obsessing over my child's chance of getting a place at a particular school so I could do with taking my own advice!

The uk education system is really something to get your head around, especially if you didn't go to school here 😩 We were in a similar situation and found an educational consultant who gave us really good advice on schools etc which suited our children. They are called Tayberry Tuition.
I don't think being in London is the be all and end all - I think there are lots more issues in some of the London schools we looked at with a "good reputation" to be honest having looked round them!

Certain top grammar schools in London are only "sort after" or "popular" among some specific communities..

It is like a self-inflated bubbles.

People move close to schools after they have been offered a place.