Schooling and social lives with move to different town

[LCScotmum]

Hey looking for some advice or thoughts. I currently live 8 min drive from kids school. I havr my kids 5050 so 1 week mines 1 week at their dads. My partner and I have secured an amazing property. It is in same local authority but 2 towns away. We couldn't afford the same size in the current area.

I plan to keep my kids in current school as they are settled and in my eyes in have no issues driving them to wherever they want to go. The current area has nothing around just morrisons and asda . Any teenagers normally migrate and hang out in the area where the new house is as it has things to do.

I work between the girls school and the new home so this was my reasoning in keeping them at the same school also. My parents worry I am socially excluding them having them " so far away." The new house is 25 min drive from girls school and my work. I am totally fine with driving them or dropping for social events etc. The current area is a little rural so id be driving them anyway. The new house has good public transport and is 8 stops on train (23mins with 10 min walk to highschool)

I personally don't see the issue . I come from a small area so the thought of moving anywhere outside a 3 mile radius is alien to people here.

I am looking for advice if anyone has done a similar move and If their kids felt affected socially or with schooling ?

Haven't moved, but my DD has a 90 minute journey each way to school. Her best friends are almost an hour in other directions.

Only thing that causes problems is train strikes as no alternative route if all lines are down.

No problem at all with social life - clubs are all after school and so easy to do as not tied to school buses etc, can just hop on the next train; and where school is located is not really somewhere kids would hang out, they're more likely to go into central London so they all have to travel.

Can't see it as an issue. I deliberately chose primary based on primary and then the secondary being walking distance for both ds's. It was important to me. That ds2 can now walk into town and meet 5 friends easily. Saying that his school has 5 feeders spread out and they all manage. Lifts from parents, trains, riding bikes, to meet up to play football. It's easier for boys.

my hairdresser bought his house far away and ferries his 2 dc everywhere. Like you the basic school run is easy because he's coming to his work. His dd is in my Ds1's year. If you are fully committed to it, to making sure their life/friendships are not inhibited, then absolutely go for it.

I personally don't see an issue but mum guilt is always there lurking with me only seeing my kids 5050 so I doubt myself. I know the house is amazing and we eont get that space where we currently are. I feel its a small sacrifice as I already drive to schools as it is.

Good to know Other people do it !

Can your children independently get to school (including if they stay late), any clubs they want to go to (or might want to go to in the future), their friends' houses, any common teenage hangouts in your area?

Is the public transport frequent and does it run into the evening (or stop at 5pm)?

When you say you are happy to drive your teens everywhere does that need planning in or can you drop anything and take them to the spontaneous gathering at 8pm, that's only organised at 5pm?

My SIL moved her teens to a rural location and thought she didn't mind driving them around. She failed to account for the more extensive nature of teens' social lives as they get older and is now thoroughly fed up of this, and the teens have a lot of restrictions on what they can do. If this is the case for you, and the children's dad lives in a "better" location, you may well find that they will want to spend more time with him.

Yeah trains run until.12.30 every night and is 23 min train journey to new house from the school. There is no hangout in the current area. Swimming or gym really is it which is at my work area so it's only 20 min drive from new house anyway. Weekend things for teenagers to do is local to the new house .

The place i live currently isn't exactly rural but it's not a city centre put it that way. Nothing to do where we currently are. There would be plenty of public transport at new address. Maybe I didn't make myself clear. Current area has nothing - new area has things to do for teenagers.

Current area has nothing - new area has things to do for teenagers.

Depends what you mean by "things to do". A lot of teen socialising is just hanging around chatting. What do they do after school? Surely they don't all migrate to a different area that's a train journey away? Things to do isn't as crucial on a day to day basis as "is this where their friends are meeting?".

How old are your children now? If they are only young teens, you'll find their social lives change beyond all recognition in the next few years.

Normally they meet at a mutual point which Is probably a stop or two by train as it is too far to walk to meet everyone. They normally hang about at the park or at eachothers houses and get picked up by parents at night . I know as they mature into late teens it will all change . Normally at this area teens hang out at eachothers houses and at the weekend travel to the other area (where the new house is) and get good bowling cinema etc then go home stay at a friends house . If it's sunny thats different as they will hang out at the park etc .

It sounds like they have an active enough social life that they can ride it out, and you can help by offering sleepovers at yours after the cinema etc.

However, how your DDs react to it and process it is very personal to them. It really is all about listening to them and finding ways to make it feel ok to them, irrespective of anyone else's experiences. It's also an age where what parents think about how their children feel can be very different to how the child themselves experiences it.

Yeah you mentioned good points. I'm a very open person and encourage my girls to speak openly about feelings so I'd like to think they will open up to me. I'm quite open with them saying that we will be moving there so they have their own space and some privacy as I feel its important as they get older and they both agreed with that, especially thr older one.

For me having space for us all trumps being within 30 min walking distance to a friends house. New place they can get a friend and still meet within same time frame, just by train and not foot.