St Paul's Girls School Occasional Places

[puzzledmom]

Hi - I'm looking for any insights into what to expect and how to prepare for SPGS occasional places assessment for Year 8? Any advice would be highly appreciated. Thanks

I know a huge number of girls' schools where this is true. The competitive under-eating, over-achieving makes for some very unhappy, anxious teens. I don't understand why the pastoral care isn't given greater emphasis. I had boys but I know that at their school and other local boys' schools, the anti-bullying and work-life balance pastoral care was superb.

Thanks for withdrawing those posts, @Paleypark.

@DaisyThistle My daughter and I have not experienced these problems at all at St Paul's and we are five years in now. The school is absolutely at pains to stop them from doing too much and putting too much pressure on themselves, and for us the pastoral care has been really really good. The vast majority of DD's friends are happy, confident young women. Any pressure that we've noticed tends to come either from the girls themselves (and this is often a problem for high achievers in any type of school) or occasionally from parents who place unrealistic expectations on their daughters. All we have had from school is a genuine desire to help, whether academically or personally. I don't believe there are many, if any, schools out there who aren't taking pastoral care seriously. Schools in general have changed an awful lot in this respect since I was a child I'm happy to say!

@BonjourCrisette I think it happens in all secondary.
All be mindful that it is not because your daughter is fine and her friends are fine (or apparently fine) that you can generalise to the whole cohort. Most secondary school have cohorts of 100+ teenagers and you wont know everyone.. even if classes have been rotated etc. Plus it is not something that is generally advertised.. a girl or a boy self harming is not generally telling anybody about it.. even their close friends.

I do think SPGS is a wonderful school but as many says it is not for everyone and girls that are suffering mental issue generally have parents that put lots of pressure on them. Of course it will happen more in the most competitive school than the more relaxed. It may also happen that the not alpha type girls will suffer a bit more in those schools where some strong character might make them think they are not of the same league (again I have seen it).

Of course there might be some sort of jealousy from people who did not manage to get in, some sort of tactics from people that are trying to get in, but there are cases of eating disorder and self harming at SPGS, lets be honest. The pressure is immense (not saying it comes from the school, as as BonjourCrisette says), they are trying to make the girls relaxed. But the whole process is biaised, how can you try to remove the pressure when the 11+ process is so competitive. I feel it is all a bit hypocritical. When you have most parents putting their children in prep school, adding numerous hours of tutoring, extra activities to get into a school; you can t really believe that those parents/ children are going to relax as soon as secondary school start.

I suspect you are right that the pressure comes from girls themselves and parents.

I wasn't thinking of St Pauls, but do know a few girls' schools local to me, and one famous boarding school where this issue is rife. So schools need to counter it. Good to hear it's not a problem at St Paul's.

I do agree that this type of thing is a problem at all schools! There isn't a school in the country that hasn't got children suffering mental health difficulties. And every school has its share of parents who pile the pressure on, though it is probably worse in at least some independent schools.

I'm certainly not saying that all girls at SPGS are fine. I am saying that from what I have seen when difficulties arise the school is really helpful.

All you can hope for is a school that does its best to help and to mitigate the difficulties and pressures as much as it can because no school can avoid this type of thing entirely. And if you are doing your best at home as well, hopefully that's enough to avoid the worst of it.

I haven't seen any issues at the school either in terms of anxiety, ED, etc. My sample is just my DD and her friends, so I have not surveyed the entire school. But that's just my honest experience.