Moving from private to state school experiences…

[Jaipur]

DS (14) is in year 10. He has a full bursary for a private school where he is pretty unhappy. The school is fairly strict which he doesn’t like, has long hours and also has a particularly snobbish undercurrent - which I know not all private schools do.

He has a group of friends, although they don’t bring out the best in each other and he has got himself into trouble for silly things (vaping, skipping a class and a few other things). The headteacher is at the end of his tether and has said he feels we should look elsewhere so he can leave with a clean slate.

He’s a bright boy and teachers and other kids like him, he’s just says he’s not really happy at the school and never has been. He wants to go to the local (high achieving) state school. He has friends there and feels he would be happier.

Private to state seems the opposite way the majority of people move there children. Any experiences of doing this? I’m concerned DS may go completely off the rails…. Equally if he’s happier and more relaxed he may really come into his own.

Ah. I've reread (what is wrong with me today??).

I'd say your son thinks it will be bants at the state school. Best move before he's pushed.

My dcs have all had bursaries and I'm afraid I was very boring about them and my dh and I constantly pushed for good behaviour and participation. Academic achievement was also good, but being a good example of the school more important.

Are you sure it's just vaping and skipping class? Those are things that will be happening in every school and if he's attracted to that type of behaviour he will find those kids anywhere.
Your current school is likely going to have more resources to help with his behaviour than any state school currently.
I wouldn't move a child in y10 unless it was a lot of unmet needs. It sounds like theres more to this though.

I guess we can't quite tell because we don't know the details- but I've seen it be very positive on a number of occasions.

If he's unhappy now, he's not going to get happier before his GCSEs, and I'd be listening to the head. There are still 18 months until GCSEs. If the head is at the end of his tether now, I'd move before your son is forced to do so. My experience is actually that private schools are not as good at dealing with behaviour as comprehensives (because they don't have to be. They just get rid). Your son may find the high achieving comp is more positive for him.

He's also NOT halfway through his GCSEs now. He's only three months into them. Not a disastrous time to change, if the subjects are similar.

He's also NOT halfway through his GCSEs now. He's only three months into them. Not a disastrous time to change, if the subjects are similar.

Depends if the school started GCSE courses in Year 9 or Year 10. And even if he's only 3 months into them, the first term covers a large chunk of material. For example, they've probably covered the whole of 1 English set text (did the next school cover the same text? or even have it as one of their choices) or one option in history (same problem). Is a child who messes about and skips lessons going to want to devote time to catching up on what he's missed (which will likely be impossible if the school he's moving to started GCSEs in Year 9)

I'm interested in why you think this. What are your appeal arguments? I can't see any obvious ones from your post.

GCSEs are done over either five or eight terms, depending on whether they are started in Y9 or 10 - the summer term of Y11 doesn't count as it's all exams.

So he's 20% in if done over two years and 3/8 in if done over three years. That's quite a lot either way.

Had to laugh when I read this: The headteacher is at the end of his tether
Doesn't take much then? Most state schools would love such straightforward issues!

I would move him, having seen a similar scenario play out with a friends DS.

If he stays where he is then is on brink of being expelled so that may happen in the next 2 terms.

Better he moves now framed as his own decision when GCSEs are still recoverable in new environment where he may be happier.

I suspect OP is underplaying this. I can't imagine a school (even a private school :) ) wanting to exclude a child for missing a class, vaping and other teenage silliness) . If there is a group of them behaving like this have the others been similarly asked to improve or leave? The school will have no students left :)

Yes @Jaipur as others say, be cautious. I tried to make the point others have, that it’s not simply GCSE subjects as your reply suggests, but does the state school do the same boards, Yy have they done the work in the same order? He is almost certainly going to need to catch up in at least some subjects.

An appeal also presents issues - I imagine it will take some time - what if it is not possible for it to be heard until Jan-Feb? Suddenly he will have missed half of year 10, a third of the GCSE courses.

It may be better for him to do fewer GCSEs perhaps? And yes, missing classes and vaping is fairly significant misbehaviour IME. You and he need to recognise that.

I imagine that "this school offers the combination of GCSEs he has already started" ought to count fairly highly. You might need to keep quiet about the full bursary - needing to move to state because you can't afford it any more is understandable, but if they know about the bursary it's going to be more obvious you're jumping before being pushed!

If there's a non-neglible chance of him being kicked out, going now is better than later.

If he's bright he can probably catch up, but you might need to get him a tutor for any major gaps. You need some undertakings from him about the effort he will put in to catch up - it sounds as if he likes the idea of a move so hopefully he's willing.
If he has friends at the state school already, what are they like? Likely to be a positive influence?

I bet he likes the idea of a move. I’ve seen Dc like this find their equally annoying tribe. The op needs to be realistic about his behaviour.

As for the poster who doesn’t realise results promote independent schools! They are businesses of course but to get the Dc they want, they need obvious success. Results and destinations are key. Other parents won’t want Dc messing about. Of course they will protect their image. In fact plenty of state schools would too except permanent exclusion is more onerous for them. Private heads are far more accountable to parents because they pay the bills.

Skipping classes would be almost unheard of at dcs independent. Unless someone was very troubled and unusually difficult. It just doesn't happen. Does he not care about his bursary? Or maybe he finds the pressure of it too difficult. Could he be bribed and nursed through gxse years then move in 6th form or do you think they are about to remove the bursary?

-'I bet he likes the idea of a move. I’ve seen Dc like this find their equally annoying tribe. The op needs to be realistic about his behaviour. '

I think that's a bit unfair. Private schools can feel a bit brutal if you can't find your own crowd and far better for him to go somewhere he's actively picking than continue where he isn't happy and they don't want him.

Skipping classes is called 'truancy' at the state maintained school I work at and is indeed an offence which incurs a suspension. Vaping also incurs a suspension (new wording now - not called exclusions unless permanent). Too many suspensions and you're looking at permanent exclusion. The only route open after that would be another private, or a PRU.

Agree with a previous poster - what are his state educated friends like? That's key.

Sounds like the headteacher wants him to go. Based on that the decision is simple.

It's not just whether they offer the same subjects, it's exam boards, order they teach the material in, topic choices, which lessons have physical space for a 31st desk. My DC are at different schools doing the same GCSE board and in History and English they are doing almost completely different topics. Schools tend to be extremely reluctant to take DC after the start of Y10.

You might have to spread the net a bit wider and consider other schools. A move from private to "leafy", academic state school should be fairly smooth for him socially, but this may be the type of school most resistant to taking him more than a term into Y10.

What is happening to the other boys that he is vaping etc with? Are they also in trouble?! or do they pay more fees and therefore less is expected of their behaviour?

@rookiemere
Very very few private schools have harsh behaviour policies. Stars is no different and usually harsher. If you are vaping and truanting in a state school, I see no difference in discipline policy or sanctions.

That is a difficult one, sounds like the school really doesn’t suit him. However, best for his education would be to finish his GCSEs there and then go to state for Sixth Form. Is he getting any free counselling at the private to address his unhappiness? Usually private schools are desperate to make sure their bursary students do well. I wouldn’t just be fobbed off by the headteacher of the private school but insist that they work with him until GCSEs are done. Poor kid- it isn’t easy to fit into a snobby stuck up place as a bursary child. They should be going out of the way to make sure he is happy there.

They might do the same subjects but that does not guarantee a place in that subject if the classes are already full.

I wouldn’t bother now to be honest. He might get bullied for being ex private kid. Not worth the risk.

Vaping and skipping a class or two ……. Surely that just a few detentions and maybe a two day suspension depending on the police on vaping.

moving schools nearly half way through his GCSEs could be a huge issue, one I’d take as a last resort.

what you have described seems more like a pastoral / behaviour issue that the school need to sort, it’s also the type of thing that will possibly be an issue in any school.

Suggesting “move schools” instead of working to sort the issue feels like a dereliction of duty on the schools part.

@Aleaiactaest
So why apply for a bursary then? If you don’t want to join the the “snobby and stuck up” parents, you are not forced too! Wanting something for nothing springs to mind. Leaving the useless state schools and the other parents behind too is usually a big selling point! If they are really your tribe, don’t pretend you are someone else.

@TizerorFizz - I was commenting on the OP’s post “the school is fairly strict which he doesn’t like, has long hours and also has a particularly snobbish undercurrent - which I know not all private schools do.”
So it does sound like a snobby school. Obviously a kid who has been to state school 9-3pm ish might require some adjustment and might feel a bit awkward with old fashioned traditions, discipline, snobbism. If the school offer full bursaries, then they need to help those kids settle in.
Bit of truancy and vaping - not a huge issue. He isn’t beating anyone up or breaking bones or threatening teachers or dealing drugs. They shouldn’t just be able to get rid of him easily.
Personally, free or not, as a bursary student they should have the same rights as a fee paying student. That is the whole point of the concept. I bet the fee paying students would be threatening to sue the school if managed out for minor offences.

I have experience of this type of thing professionally speaking, it isn’t my tribe on a personal level. The OP needs to know her rights. If it is a well known school, PR threat is always a winner.