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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Long Commute to Senior School

53 replies

Louiselady500 · 03/12/2022 02:52

Deciding on School for DC for Sept 2023. Currently school journey is 15mins by car. I travelled an hour on school bus each way for senior school and it never bothered me. Is a 40min-1hr (depending on traffic) car ride from year 7 too long. How do your kids find it? It’s an Independent School where kids travel mostly within a 25mile radius from many different areas. There isn’t a school bus from our area. Some parents say it’s great to have the 1:1 time to talk with their kids especially in the teenage years when they can become distant. Lots of kids get homework done on the journey or use the time to read or revise. The drive is not an issue for me. Any experiences would be very helpful.

OP posts:
Lightowl · 03/12/2022 02:59

Does that mean you need to do both ways twice a day - ie you could have up to 4 hours travelling?

If that’s the case no I wouldn’t be committing to it. I don’t think that is sustainable without any other option. What happens if eg you can’t drive for a couple of months?

can you drive him to a bus pick up point, would that be a compromise?

changingstages · 03/12/2022 03:05

My daughter does an hour on the bus each way. It's not actually all that far - if we drove her it's about 20 minutes - but that's the route the public bus (state school - she's there because it's a specialist school in a subject she excels in). It's fine. She does get tired and the cold and dark days are a bit tough especially if the traffic is bad or the buses are delayed. But she likes the time to do homework/listen to music etc; in fact she really enthuses about it.

Original poster
Louiselady500 · 03/12/2022 03:12

Yes I would be doing majority of the driving but husband would do at least one day. I enjoy driving so I don’t think it would be an issue for me. There is the option to board which is very flexible so could be just one night a week or more if wanted to.

OP posts:
Original poster
Louiselady500 · 03/12/2022 03:14

The return journey would be different as we go straight to clubs 3 nights a week so that breaks up the journey.

OP posts:
Lightowl · 03/12/2022 03:14

An ok if it’s flexi boarding that changes things a bit.

do you work, and if not do you not intend to at all? I just think you’re really boxing yourself in here by committing to four hours a day (plus everything else you have on).

Lightowl · 03/12/2022 03:15

Any other dc?

Original poster
Louiselady500 · 03/12/2022 03:16

I do remember enjoying my school bus journey. Friends would come home with me and stay over.

OP posts:
Original poster
Louiselady500 · 03/12/2022 03:19

No other children. Own business so I have total flexibility and don’t work full time hours.

OP posts:
Lightowl · 03/12/2022 03:25

doesn’t sound unreasonable then… although perhaps the hybrid where you drive eg 20 mins to a bus point is worth exploring

FuchsAndMöhr · 03/12/2022 03:33

We do this now. It’s ok when the journey is on the lower end of the timescale but if traffic is bad it can be a ballache. That said I do enjoy the 1-2-1 time.

Our plan was always to move closer to school but I do like this area and for the right house (we’re currently in temp accommodation) I’d be willing to suck up the commute.

Remaker · 03/12/2022 03:34

My kids (yr 10 & yr 9) have this commute. Most mornings DH or I drop them off which takes about 30 mins. In the afternoon they almost always make their own way home which is about an hour. They prefer not to be picked up in the afternoon as they hang out with their friends, get food etc.

zoemelb · 03/12/2022 05:36

Sorry to raise the question in your post OP.
I'm also looking for potential private secondary schools for DS, and most of the nearest schools are 30mins drive each way, or 40-60mins bus drive. Question for us is at what age can they take the bus drive by themselves? or taking public transport e.g train by themselves? I would think year 7 is still young for it? Thanks

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 03/12/2022 06:24

Is your business one where you could hot desk? I would plan to rent an office space a couple of days a week near the school so you don't need to come back everyday. 4 hrs driving will really drag after a while. Also exploring the nearest bus drop off point.

Ericaequites · 03/12/2022 07:30

@zoemelb - Have your son practice the bus or train route a few times at rush hour. Ask the school about the journey from your area by bus.or train. Quite often, there are older students traveling the same way who will buddy up for the first few weeks until the trip is routine.

@Louiselady500 - I had a 30-40 minute drive with my mother to school every day for six years. Sometimes it was nice, but my mother and I would occasionally fight vehemently in the car. Plan on 1-2 overnights during the week to break things up. It would be more affordable than renting office space and having to haul your stuff around.

Ericaequites · 03/12/2022 07:33

@Louiselady500 Also, ask other parents at the new school whether they would be willing to carpool even one or two days a week. It can be a big timesaver.

Original poster
Louiselady500 · 03/12/2022 07:39

I looked at school bus routes again and there is a stop I hadn’t realised which is 20min drive from us so I could drop off there in the mornings. It is on route the way I would most likely drive. Not sure I’d do it in the first term or year even but good option for future. There are numerous bus routes and all start an hour away and some further so there will be other children commuting an hour there and back every day.

OP posts:
ModeWeasel · 03/12/2022 07:39

I had a commute like this to somewhere v few other kids went to the same school. For me it meant it was hard to make friends or do after school stuff. I did do homework on the way but wouldn’t recommend that strategy!

if you can support them to take a public transport route that would help mitigate that (there were no reliable options to do that for me as very rural).

Original poster
Louiselady500 · 03/12/2022 07:42

There isn’t really public transport to get there. It would be numerous buses or car, train and bus. Nothing very direct.

OP posts:
Motherhubbardscupboard · 03/12/2022 07:46

@zoemelb it's really normal to do this in Y7. My DC got the train to school and even changed trains on the way back (it was direct in the mornings) right from the start of Y7. There were lots of others doing the same route and we also had a practice run. In London (we're not London but near) kids get themselves across the city by tube at the same age.

PuttingDownRoots · 03/12/2022 07:51

Re school dedicated buses... my DD was doing 30mins on a school bus at 4yo. Yr7 is definitely not too young.

Public transport depends on route and child... but thousands do it in Yr7.

SuperheroBirds · 03/12/2022 08:04

zoemelb · 03/12/2022 05:36

Sorry to raise the question in your post OP.
I'm also looking for potential private secondary schools for DS, and most of the nearest schools are 30mins drive each way, or 40-60mins bus drive. Question for us is at what age can they take the bus drive by themselves? or taking public transport e.g train by themselves? I would think year 7 is still young for it? Thanks

I went to school that was 60-90 minutes away on public transport. I got the bus and train from Year 7. it never felt unsafe, as at that time of day public transport is really busy.
Honestly, I think it has really helped me as a grown up. When you’ve spent your teenage years getting up at 6am and out of the door by 7am, you aren’t bothered by getting up to commute to work.

Poisoningpigeons · 03/12/2022 08:04

@zoemelb My DDs are at an independent school and they commute on the school bus for 45min-1hr, have done since the very first day of Year 7 (they're in Yr9 now). It's considered completely normal. The important thing is to ensure they know which bus to board when leaving school (assuming there are multiple school bus routes), and that they recognise which stop they have to get off at.

Plenty of pupils at their school also come by train or normal bus. It's not scary because there will be loads of them together.

I have friends with DC in London who get the tube by themselves across the city every day.

FlairBand · 03/12/2022 08:16

Louiselady500 · 03/12/2022 07:39

I looked at school bus routes again and there is a stop I hadn’t realised which is 20min drive from us so I could drop off there in the mornings. It is on route the way I would most likely drive. Not sure I’d do it in the first term or year even but good option for future. There are numerous bus routes and all start an hour away and some further so there will be other children commuting an hour there and back every day.

I’d say this is a good option. You get some 121 time without having to spend 4 hours a day in car and your dd gets to see friends (they usually like the bus).

it’s also important you have another option in case anything happens, it seems crazy for your dd’s entire time at secondary to be totally dependent on your being available for lifts.

hairdisasterhelpneeded · 03/12/2022 08:20

4hrs a day doesn't really sound sustainable for you tbh

RosieRiveting · 03/12/2022 08:27

zoemelb · 03/12/2022 05:36

Sorry to raise the question in your post OP.
I'm also looking for potential private secondary schools for DS, and most of the nearest schools are 30mins drive each way, or 40-60mins bus drive. Question for us is at what age can they take the bus drive by themselves? or taking public transport e.g train by themselves? I would think year 7 is still young for it? Thanks

Where I am probably most kids in Y7 would be doing journeys of 30mins to an hour (maybe more) on public transport by themselves. It's really normal. They practice in the summer holidays so they know the route and make friends with the other kids who go the same way. It's actually a really good way for them to meet new people at their schools.