Any nurturing and caring Secondary Schools in London

[HmmmThinking]

Can anyone recommend a very nurturing secondary school with great pastoral care and not too focused on high expectations or overly authoritarian with a restrictive behavioural policy? School counselling provision if required and a great creative and physical curriculum? Does one exist? Ideally a State school but will consider private.

Thames Christian School has a good reputation for pastoral care.

In the state sector it's a mixed bag.

DD is at a school which is reasonably liberal on the behaviour front (no detentions for not having your 3rd pencil etc), has school counsellors on site, amazing sports, music and art provision. DD has managed 2 years plus with no detentions and maybe 5 demerit marks in total. But they have extremely high expectations and it's a huge school which I wouldn't say is 'extremely' nurturing.

Unless you go for specialist SEN schools, you are unlikely to find one that isn't results focused. Parents in both State and Private are generally very interested in results and so schools are too. Private schools in London are particularly competitive unless you are looking for the non-selective ones.

Discipline wise, you have the full spectrum from the Michaela/WLFS to the more laid back. You need to visit everywhere you have a chance to get in and ask a lot of questions. I weeded out at least 3 where I knew my slightly disorganised child would not be likely to have a happy time.

king alfred's, golders green, has a good ethos. not cheap though.

You're asking for a lot to be honest and London is a big place.
Behaviour in classrooms is so awful now that nothing short of authoritarian gets it under control. I know this can get sensitive kids anxious, but so does the bad behaviour. And the behaviour is really really scary, especially if you add lack of high expectations to that. In fact, you're not going to find a school without high expectations as that, alongside a relaxed approach to discipline, would probably fail them in their Ofsted.
Expectations will be there in private too. If it's not academics it'll be sport etc etc. Most schools have a counsellor but this isn't for long term use and it's normally overloaded with students and is an external company. This includes privates. If you're going into this with a child that needs therapy, a school counsellor won't be much help. As for a creative/physical curriculum, state schools will be using the NC so that's 2hrs of PE and 1hr of Art/Drama with a good art club if you're lucky. Easier to find good sports provision than art in state schools.
Both PE and arts is better in privates but that depends too.

That's really not true - especially in some of the big London state secondaries.

DD's school offer 2 hrs of PE in the timetable - however, after school there is street dance, contemporary dance, archery, fencing, horse-riding, swimming, cycling, basketball, volleyball, table tennis, hockey, netball, rugby and football. All of the above are free, and there is a full programme of sports fixtures against other schools and in regional/national competitions.

Art GCSE is available as Fine Art, Graphics, Photography or Textiles. You can also do a BTEC in Creative Media Production in place of a GCSE. Also have Design Tech. Y7 and Y8 were 2 hours of Art and 2 hours of Design Tech a week.

Music - also 2 hours a week in Y7 and Y8... just had a look and they had on offer last week, 3 choirs, full orchestra, 4 bands, 7 ensembles and a load of other things from Jazz to African drums.

Sport, Art and Music all offer additional 'scholarship' classes on top of the above during and after school for those who are keen and interested.

Easily on a par with what one of my siblings had available at a top public school, and far better than what I got at a super-selective grammar.

DD has had a counsellor in school since Y7... took less than 48 hours to get an initial appointment and she still sees them on a relatively regular basis over 2 years later.

These are the questions to ask about when you are looking round schools.

@OhCrumbsWhereNow Just curious - where does your DD go to school? It sounds amazing!

She’s at Kingsdale Foundation School in SE London

Kingsdale is lottery for entrance. Literally

And presumably can offer riding free because of the Dulwich Foundation (I mean the wider bequest, that supports the stables, not the Foundation Schools)

Mix of lottery and scholarship places (music and sport) - although they are looking at changing that a bit to also have feeder primary schools and a percentage of places reserved for FSM. It’s a huge school - over 400 in each year group and iirc 460 in Y7 this year.

No idea how the riding is funded, but quite possibly.

@OhCrumbsWhereNow

When you say it isn't 'extremely' nurturing, do you get the sense that the children feel seen and cared about in the school though? And that they are unlikely to fall through the cracks?

Yes, I think they are unlikely to fall through the cracks. They have a tutor group every day and the same tutor (unless staff member leaves) the entire time they are at the school, so there is one member of staff who is keeping a daily eye on them for all purposes - academic, pastoral etc - and who parents can contact with any worries. There's also an app that tracks behaviour points, attendance, detentions, reports etc and you get emailed whenever something new is added, so you can see if there are issues.

When I say 'extremely nurturing' - most people see that as as a very small school where everyone knows everyone and it's a family feel. You're not going to get that in a school with 460 in a year where breaks, lunches, start and finish times are all staggered. The year groups don't really mix at all, and there are so many staff that you will only really know your own teachers or particular departments.

It's a school that possibly suits a more confident child - a lot of what is on offer needs the child to be open to signing up for things and making the most of the opportunities as nobody will force you - but DD's best friend is a very shy, quiet girl and is extremely happy there.

This is very interesting. Fwiw a friend’s son went to Kingsdale and (almost literally) crashed out. Other stories circulate about kids who aren’t high flyers just going under the radar there. That’s not to discount the PP above - it’s to highlight that one kid’s nirvana won’t work out that way for all. And perhaps one isn’t able to assess really, until you are there.

I think it probably best suits children who are very academic or who excel in one of their specialisms - sport, music, maths, art etc.

I'm not sure it would be a great fit if your child isn't a 'joiner inner' or keen to do lots of extra curricular things.

Although she has a SpLd, DD is also in top sets for everything as are all her friends, so I don't know what the situation is if you are not academic. Certainly they cater well for those who are academically ambitious.

Having looked at lots of schools, what suits one child could be awful for a different child. You need to choose a school to suit YOUR child rather than being taken with what is on offer on paper. (The sport is utterly wasted on DD who has absolutely zero interest in that direction.)

Sound like you need St Christopher's in Letchworth. Not in London but plenty of London teens go there. My friend's daughter commuted from north London on the school bus. Another two friends sent their daughters there when they couldn't cope with the academic focus at two separate high performing state schools.

It's private though. I went on a visit there for a nosey and the standard of art work was extremely high.

It used to have a reputation for being very lax but that's not been the case for many years.

Name changed for this…cannot recognise that description of Kingsdale. It’s disorganised with the same issues any large comprehensive has!

Don't be silly Tango. It's the Best School in the World™. 😉

🤣

Sent you a private message OP

St Benedicts in Ealing

I can only give my experience. I've said it may not suit everyone and I'm sure every school has parents who are happy and those who aren't.

On the other hand, you can't deny that they don't offer the music and sport opportunities that I've outlined.

Hmm…I think you probably work there!!!
🤣

They are a massive school (300 per year) so there will be lots of possibilities but also lots of students to provide for…

I don't 😂- merely a parent... I keep as far away from schools as I can and would be the worst teacher in the world. I commented just as much (with a different user name I think) on DD's primary school.

It's actually 460 in Y7 and around 430 in other years, so way more than 300.

Rochester independent school. It is in Kent though. However , transport from London is good.
Small classes, non uniform, great pastoral care.

Thank you @Blube and to everyone else and @OhCrumbsWhereNow, yours sounds like the dream and sadly out of reach for us but reassuring that this model exists for a secondary and gives hope.

Sorry I haven’t checked back in. Overwhelmed with current situation and task of finding a new school.

Please do keep posting and I hope others will share more as will I but dealing with a lot right now.

Sutton High (private, part of GDST) gets good reports on here for pastoral and well rounded education. We really liked it on an open day. Worth a look if it’s within reach - they run buses but more from outer London/Surrey, there is a train station nearby too.

Where in North London? quite a big place like if you are looking at Colindale, Harrow or Camden, Islington. I am in Barnet and my kids do not go there but have friends there and Totteridge Academy has apparently gone from strength to strength, new head, they have their own little farm/garden in really lovely surroundings and is supposed to be very nurturing with great pastoral support but can be quite difficult to get to if you don't live near or drive