Trouble at School

[Nightmare23]

I am after some advice here as I am unsure what to do.

On Monday the school rung me to advise my 11 year old daughter has taken inappropriate photos during a lesson and circulated them around the class. I asked the teacher what she meant by inappropriate and she said deeply upsetting photos at an unflattering angle. She wanted me to check my daughters phone.

My daughter came in. I took her phone I couldn't find anything. I spoke to her and she denied it. I left it at that as the school said they would be speaking to her Tuesday.

Yesterday my daughter came home to tell me she was told she had committed a criminal offence, she is lucky the police haven't been called and fined her. This in addition to an email being sent to every teacher stating my daughter has to sit alone and at the front of the class for the remainder of year 7. She is also to be escorted to lessons by her head of year. She rung me crying at lunch as her form tutor said in front of everyone we all know what you did. The Head of Year told her that she had seen photos and ascertained it was my daughter based on the angle they were taken from.

I don't think my daughter is an angel. But I was concerned this happened during a lesson that the Head of Year 7 takes. So I delved a bit deeper. I have taken her iPhone and I have gone into the logs and the useage for Monday. DD doesn't know you can do this. So during school the only useage was at lunch time and after school. Furthermore on Monday DD used her camera for a total of 17 seconds between 5-6pm no other useage. I have gone through the useage of every app etc.

I am not one to complain but I am concerned now that this has arrisen and my daughter has been accused with no evidence. This also happened during a lesson when she was sat opposite the teacher who told me Monday she never witnessed it.

What do I do here? If she was told off I wouldn't have delved further I would have accepted it. I am not happy for her to be singled out for the rest of Year 7 and made to sit alone like a criminal with no evidence.

Does anyone have any advice?

I am a HOY (on mat leave). You should go in for a meeting OP. You need to ascertain what exactly they think your daughter has done as without knowing, it's very difficult to understand on your part.

Gosh I would be furious at this too! Is there any way to get deleted data from the phone? Even if you could prove she didn’t do this I wouldn’t like that rumour following her through the rest of her secondary school time so I’d honestly be thinking of changing schools.

I'd be demanding a meeting asap and insist on being told exactly what happened.

As an aside, how do you look at each day's activity on an iPhone?!

She's obviously deleted the photos. They will have seen them at the time. She's obviously upset as she's been caught but she's not the victim here but the person she distributed photos of. By all means speak to the school about what happened.

I would agree that this is very possible from experience, especially with Year 7s. They're very upset when they get in trouble and are often still navigating the boundaries of phones and social media etc.

If the school think it is criminal are the police involved who can check the phone, including any deleted pics. Have you checked any cloud storage as well as Recently Deleted folders. Take her phone and meet the HOY. Ongoing public accusations are not helpful in resolving the situation and will only send her on the defensive further. It seems very unlikely that she is innocent but others may well be implicated.

You say she didn't use her camera but what about whatsapp/snapchat/Instagram would the direct camera used on those apps show as camera usage?

I wouldn't stop until I got to the bottom of this, of your daughter didn't take the photo then someone did! Ask for a meeting OP

As an aside, how do you look at each day's activity on an iPhone?!

Go into 'settings' and then 'screen time'. If screen time is turned on then you can see a log of the activity.

ascertained it was my daughter based on the angle they were taken from

That sounds like very limited 'proof'. I would go in with the info you have from the logs of her phone usage to show reasonable doubt. Anyone near her could stick their hand out with a phone to quickly take a picture.

If the photo was circulated, i dont see why it has to be ascertained from an angle that it was her. Surely you know who sent a photo when you recieve it.

It was probably snap chat which deletes automatically. A police officer recently said to me they are the bane of their existence. This has just happened to two children at our local private school. The storm passed. The school have to appear to be very cross as they need to be seen to be discouraging it but every school has this issues, so many children do it.

So if it wasn't your daughter, who was responsible for the photos? If they were taken during a lesson and circulated round the class, your daughter will be fully aware who it was. Why is she not saying "it wasn't me, it was X?"

Unless she has a phone you don't know about, but it all seems unlikely

But OP checked and she didn't use any apps until Lunch time so how can it be her?

Sounds like the school needs a more stringent policy of no phones in school. My childrens school has just done this abd it has been great. Kids no longer sit arohnd at break looking at crap but still have phines for getting to and from school.

Do you actually know what the photo was of? Presumably an unflattering photo of a teacher? How is distribution of that criminal. Against the rules maybe but hard to see how it would be criminal.

Your dd should learn a big lesson from this but the schools reaction does seem
Sledgehammer like and likely to cause her a lot of distress. Shes only 11.

I would def have a meeting with the school to get more detail.

I’d follow this up, they can’t treat her like this for a whole year especially if she didn’t do it. The punishment does seem a bit disproportionate

If your daughter behaves well from now on you'll be able to make a case for her punishment to end early.

I emailed the school with detailed screen of the usage of the phone along with each app and the time they were used.

There was no usage between 2-3 when this incident occurred.

The Head of Year saw one picture which was airdropped during lesson. The girl who recieved the photo has shown the teacher the username of the sender. It turns out it was the girl next to my daughter.

A girl my daughter is scared of. So when that girl blamed my daughter and my daughter was threatened with the police she said she did it. I can't believe she is silly enough to take the blame.

I have had a phonecall and a written apology from the Head of Year who has also apologised to my daughter.

I am so glad I delved deeper and my advice to anyone is to always check apps and childrens phones.

Good. I'm glad the main issue is resolved.
I'd also request your DD and the perpratrator no longer sit next to each other in that (or any) lessons.

Your poor daughter. So she did nothing wrong at all? I would be absolutely fuming.

Thank you!