Help please.

[FuckWasps]

Apologies for the shit title. Will try to keep this as concise as possible.

My yr 7 dc is on thier 3rd exclusion of the year and I have been told that the next time will be permanent. They have adhd and have not needed medication as it has always been well (enough) managed at home and at school.
They have been discharged from community peads after missing 2 appointments due to cock up with letters going to old address. They now have to be re-referred through gp to see the pediatrician. I've been told wait time could be up to 2 months.

My question is, would it be reasonable for me to withdraw DC from school and home school until they are able to start medication? And what are the chances that the school will agree to this? Situation is looking bleak and I think they will likely be expelled before the end of term.

TIA.

I’d ask the school. A part-time programme might work.

what are school doing at the moment? Is he just being generally disruptive?

have you identified any trigger points in the day? Like when he’s getting hungry, a particular lesson or teacher. Tiredness at the end of the day/not coping with the free aspect of lunchtimes?
If so, you could work out a schedule to avoid those or collect him at lunch.

I wouldn't withdraw from school - I would see (I honestly don't know if this would be possible but I'd try) if you can state that DC is too ill to attend school until you've seen the paediatrician and sorted meds, and see if you can access the Out of School Service which in our area means they are still enrolled at school but a tutor comes 2 or 3 times a week to set them work until they are well enough to return. If you withdraw completely not only are you responsible for what they are learning, but I suspect you'll have a fight on your hands to get them back in. It's worth seeing if it's possible.

You can do this, but when you choose to home ed, you deregister them from the school roll.

The issue then is if there is a place available once you have the meds and they are ready to go back to school.

@underneaththeash twice they have been suspended for hurting other pupils. They tend to get picked on due to their obvious differences and then lash out. Not excusing, just giving some background that it's not random attacks.

This time they have been suspended for pouring water over a balcony where there were other pupils below. No obvious triggers for this one - just seems a decision to be silly and annoy people. The incidents usually happen in the afternoon. I have asked for a reduced time table but have been told this needs approval by the head which they may or may not give. It would only be a maximum of 2 weeks. No other help offered.

@barbarabourbon and @willingtolearn Thank you for your insights. I had not thought about the difficulties in getting them back in school and naively assumed their place at school would remain.

Don’t deregister and EHE. Parents often find it easier to get support when their DC remains on the school roll even if DC don’t attend. It’s easier for others to brush problems under the carpet if you EHE.

Have you applied for an EHCNA?

Long term a part time timetable of its own shouldn’t be used. If DC can’t attend school full time due to their SEN the LA should provide alternative arrangements.

If you deregister DC’s place won’t be kept for them and there may not be a place available when you want to return.

Adhd massively challenges DC when they get to high school. You need to tell school that you realise that meds are now needed but that they need to help you until you get them.

Thanks for your reply. Yes, they have an EHCP already.

The school are duty bound to put in support mechanisms for your DS. They can’t just have three suspensions and then go for a permanent exclusion especially as your son has ADHD, it generally takes a while to exclude a pupil and the school has to demonstrate that they’ve done all they can. If they were to permanently exclude then you would have good grounds to challenge it if they have done nothing to support your son. The school should have a behaviour and exclusions policy and the government have published guidance on behaviour in schools and exclusion. I would find them and highlight where they’re not supporting your son or where they’re not following government guidance. If two of the events were in response to being provoked, well what are the school doing to stop this?

Usually permanent exclusion is a last resort, schools will usually do anything to avoid it - recommend managed moves, you’ve suggested a reduced timetable with an end date so as soon as he can get medication sorted. I can’t see why a school wouldn’t go for that - it’s a logical step.

If you deregister and then decide to put him back into school, you’ll get offered any school with space.

I would start to be a persistent polite pain with the school. When you go to the re-intergration meeting, I would start to ask the questions - so what are you going to do to support? Is your DS going to get a behaviour plan? What strategies are they using? If lunch is an issue, is there somewhere he can go, or can he go home? Bring up the reduced day to avoid incidents, quote government guidance at them. What positive things can your DS get involved in to make school a more positive place? Make sure the meeting is minuted and you get a copy of the minutes and ask for any actions to have dates attached. It is also good practice to write these down and send to school and say just to confirm on Xth we agreed that Mr Y would do A and Ms C would do B and these would be done by Z.

If they already have an EHCP you need to ask for an early review ASAP. IPSEA have a model letter you can use.

What provision is currently in section F and is it being provided?

Is there a reason you are withholding your child’s sex?

Don’t pull them out of school. Keep them on the register. Even if the child doesn’t go to school you can ring up daily - keep them on that register otherwise it’s an easy option for the LA.

You need a meeting at school with senco and the head and find out how THEY are going to help your child. Tell them you are coming into school on Monday to see them both.

Are you sure that it’s 2 months for meds? That seems super quick. Plus your child might not settle on the first med that is given plus time to find the correct dose…..

School should be helping you more. Maybe you as a parent should try and apply for a EHCP yourself - you can do it yourself. Takes forever so you might as well get the ball rolling 👍

Good luck - go fighting for your child but always nice to school staff 🤩 works in your favour 👍

@Ionacat Thank you for your helpful advice. I will take note.

The only thing they have in place is a kind of get out of jail free card if you will where they have access to a quiter area of the school to give them time to calm down. But they understandably dont always make the best decisions in times of high stress. I dont feel the school has done much to support them and we have been threatened with expulsion since the second exclusion. Which imo, has made thier behaviour worse.

I had a meeting with the senco before they started and was happy with the plan put in place but it's clearly not working/not being adhered to.

@OperaStation For anonymity. But I've put enough details in here that I suppose it's not worth it any more. Hes a he.

Wow excluding someone for pouring water is harsh...no? Detention, yes. But suspension?

I hope you and your wee one get the help needed and they settle into school once they have their meds. Annoying that you need another referral.

Thank you. I will ask for a review..

Other than his pass, I cant think of anything else they have provided.

I thought so too. It seemed disproportionate to me. Considering he has been excluded for the same ammount of time for hurting others. Internal exclusion doesnt work for him so I expected detentions or one/two day suspension. Was quite shocked to be honest.

Is there a reason that would matter?

OP if your child has an ehcp they will not just be able to exclude. There are processes in place and they may suggest an alternative provision (Either specialist school or another MS with better send facilities)

There needs to be an emergency review - send the letter immediately from IPSea website (they have templates)

Request again a PT timetable stating the reason is that it's very clear the afternoons are a challenge and you want to work with school to solve this. (Copy in send caseworker)

Also ask in this letter how they intend to deal with the pupils who are bullying your son so he doesn't end up overwhelmed and lashing out - point out that unless they Improve his environment his feelings won't change.

Tell them what you've done re contacting pead and meds are on the horizon and suggest a review of the PT timetable when you e had the appointment and then you will discuss if this needs to be extended dependent on what pead says.

I know the school hasn’t provided anything else, but what does section F state? What provision is in there? And is it detailed, specified and quantified or vague and woolly?

Rather than just a part time timetable push for part time at school and alternative provision (care farm, forest school, outdoor education programme, home tutoring, therapies, other provision, mentoring, mindjam… whatever will meet DS’s needs) during the afternoon as DS has a right to a full time education.

Sorry, I misunderstood. I will have to have a look and see what, if anything in the ehcp is being adhered to. It is a very detailed plan but I haven't looked through it since earlier this year when he got his place to make sure the care plan in school was robust and they could provide what he needed. Things were fine for the first couple weeks but have now gone to absolute shit.

Thank you for your reply. I will do as suggested.

They're already diagnosed and have been prescribed meds before so I'm assuming that's why they've said 8 weeks as things will just pick up where they left off. They have an EHCP already but thank you :)

Whilst these two or three incidents may have been the ones which attracted a temp exclusion there may well have been plenty of other incidents and difficult behaviour. It would otherwise be very unusual to be talking about a permanent exclusion. In any case I would be asking for a meeting to ask for support but the OP needs to step up too. Missing appointments and allowing it to get here isn't great.