Downe House / Wycombe Abbey / others? 2022

[KindnessisKey]

Hello all,

Kindly requesting current 2022 opinions on boarding for girls 11+ / 13+ entries.

We are currently looking at schools for daughter post prep school. Our head has recommended Wycombe Abbey and Downe House as options. So am looking to current parents of these schools to find out how they’re getting on and any tips or information/opinions would be so welcome!

Also what other schools anyone might recommend as alternative options. I’ve heard St Mary’s Calne, Cheltenham Ladies (though not sure about off campus boarding houses), St Swithuns - so anyone able to share their thoughts would be much appreciated.

We are also open to co-ed too so perhaps Wellington College / Marlborough / Charterhouse? Or any others similar.

We have the Good Schools Guide but opinions from those currently in these schools would be so helpful to give us an insight.

Thank you in advance!

It would be helpful if you could provide more information regarding your daughter’s interests and motivation. Right now your list appears to be a list of “big name” schools. That’s no bad thing but parents so often get caught up in what is “the best” school and disregard what is the “right” school.

For example, if your daughter is into football or hockey then I wouldn’t send her to Wycombe Abbey. They have squad teams only as there’s not enough girls to make teams for each year group. If lacrosse is her thing then WA is great.

Does she want to come home a lot? Would she be up for spending the full term in France at Downe House or would she be extremely homesick? Would she expect you to come and watch matches and how far are you prepared to drive? Are you both happy with her being a full boarder and not having her around at weekends? Wellington College has a very London centric pupil base with socialising in the city at weekends - can she easily get there?

There’s plenty of other schools to add to your list - Benenden, Oundle etc - but it’s pointless without any direction.

To further add that Wycombe Abbey has their main entry point at 11+, along with pretty much all of the girls schools, regardless of what your prep school says. Downe House has the biggest 13+ intake I believe. I would honestly move her at 11 if you want a girls school. 13, obviously for the co-Ed schools you mention. That’s surely the first decision you need to make?

To clarify, Downe House has the biggest 13+ intake out of all the girls schools but their main entry point is still at 11.

Are you Catholic? St Mary's Ascot is a superb school, and I would add it to your list if you are.

Are you only looking for boarding ? Don't go for the day girl at a boarding school

Queen Anne's in Reading. Good all round
St Swithin's in Winchester worth considering

Day schools - St Helen's & St Katherine's, Abingdon - academic, not particularly sporty
Abbey in Reading - academic + sport, drama & Music all good.
Oxford high school for girls - good local reputation

obviously some of these are not starters if you're not in the area.

Vast majority of girls schools do start at 11. Don't get tempted by the prep school to stay on until 13. Numbers at 13 transferring are usual small, much better to start with the majority at 11. The reason I say this - was looking around for DD and a girl would had been at DD's prep school, made a strong point to all the girls and parents - move at 11. She'd moved at 13 and despite being academically able, sporty, popular, all the positives basically, she was having real and serious problems integrating.

@WayDownInTheHole Thank you, yes we have heard lots of super things about St Mary’s but sadly we aren’t Catholic so am assuming that is ruled out.

@DPotter Thank you - yes we are looking at boarding (she currently flexi boards because she wants to) though we are only looking at schools where she can come home at weekends after school and fixtures etc so narrowing it down to schools in an area within in a manageable drive. Obviously we are fully aware she may have so much fun she might not want to come home every weekend 😀

Really just looking for an inside view from current parents at these schools about what they love/aren’t so keen on. She will get a great education at any one of these schools it just boils down to finding one with the right feel for her.

Prior to beginning this journey we did, of course, take into account all the things she likes and enjoys and is good at, hence the above list.

We err towards girls only as this is what she has had experience of but we wouldn’t rule out a co-ed if we felt it the right fit. Interestingly it was WA that suggested to us she come at 13 as she is in feeder prep for there and (I quote) she is just as well to stay so she can experience being at the top of that school and the advantages that can offer as they spend 11-13 bringing their new girls up to speed as they have come from such diverse schools so it can be a bit of a step sideways but obviously up to us. I did discuss the friendship bonds being made from 11 but she said that because they are all in a separate boarding house until 13 then are moved into mixed age dorms from 13 up these friendships are very flexible (I joined my boarding at 13 and had no problems integrating). But we will see how she feels and what suits her best. Many thanks again for your advice.

@KindnessisKey
If she’s at Godstowe, they will go to WA at 13. That is normal for them. Maybe a few other schools. Preps like Godstowe know WA and DH very well are not suggesting them at 13 without knowledge. They don’t want you to be disappointed. Also why pay and ignore advice? Also WA and DH won’t fall out with your prep by taking DDs “early” at 11 if they haven’t historically done that. They will maintain the status quo.

Can you find out who else from your school has gone to these schools? The school must have a track record. Have you looked round them? My DD took part in choosing. We didn’t choose completely on our own. We shortlisted. CLC is excellent. Marlborough too if you want co Ed. You don’t have to be Catholic to go to St Mary’s, Ascot. You must sign up to the ethos though. There is also Rugby.

@TizerorFizz Many thanks for your reply. Yes I have spoken to some parents, mixed views hence asking for some impartial advice to get a wide breadth. Our daughter has visited with us, always! Couldn’t do it without her. Yes, someone else mentioned Rugby so must go and have a look. Thank you for your info, much appreciated.

Among all the girls' schools you mentioned, I would take out St Swithun's for its relatively low boarding ratio. Although it is a boarding school, yes, I would suggest taking the distance between your home and the school into consideration. You would likely drive to the school more often than you thought. I think WA, DH and CLC are definitely the top three choices.

You don't have to be Catholic as long as you're supportive of the values and ethos.

My daughter has just started in year 7 at CLC. I wouldn't worry too much about the houses not being "on campus". I had the same reaction initially but honestly I feel the opposite now. I think it's great that they get to see actual real people in a town Vs being locked away behind school walls. Can only imagine that becomes even better and better as they grow up.

Safety isn't an issue. They have to walk in groups, and they put a bus on during dark winter days.

FWIW we also chose CLC over St Marys Calne (which we thought was lovely) and Downe (mixed feelings)

We didn't end up applying to WA because we wanted something that was a bit more well rounded and not so heavily focused on type A academics.

A lot depends on your child and what's right for them.

@DilettanteMum Thank you so much, that’s really useful and good to know there’s a bus when the weather is inclement! Many thanks

@uk2020 Many thanks, yes I think we are narrowing it down slowly!

@DilettanteMum could I kindly ask what your mixed feelings were over DH?

We have mixed feelings about WA for similar reasons to you. Feel it might be just a bit too intense?

@KindnessisKey
What does your DD think? She’s going to live in these schools?!

Downe House feels like a West London extension school to me. I was super into the France term, so I was initially pushing for it, but I just started to get the feeling that it was going to turn into mostly girls who went back to London every weekend. I have also heard it can be a bit cutthroat socially. A bit too strong on the Kings Rd / Made in Chelsea set.

Agree this is key. In the end it was our daughter who chose CLC (although we all agreed).

Every girls and every school is so different - and it really depends what will suit her.

Yes. DDs had input into where they went. The decision about 11 or 13 has to be resolved too.

For open weekends, I feel on average half of DH girls go home. It depends on the attractiveness of the weekend activities. The France term should be a great experience, but some girls don't like it. I think a good thing is that the school is not pressuring the girls a lot academically and most girls are happy in general.

My daughter goes to WA. Before she started there we also tossed up DH, St Mary's Calne, and Benenden. Ultimately, we left the decision to her and WA was where she felt most comfortable.
Yes, WA is extremely academic but I would not call it a hot house. It is selective, so the girls who go there are smart, but in the time my daughter has been there, she has never felt additional pressure from the school to perform at a certain level. They do expect the girls to work hard and complete all of their prep and work to a high standard but I would expect this from any school.
Pastorally, the school has been fantastic. We live overseas so were worried about our daughter being so far away and dealing with any problems but our HM and AHM have been amazing. They are really good at communicating with us and are able to sort out any problems or issues really easily. They have both created a warm welcoming environment in the house and my daughter really misses it when she is on break.
On the weekends there are lots of activities for the girls to get involved in and there are always plenty of girls in the house. One of the things my daughter likes is the schools proximity to the town center. They are able to walk over to the local shopping center on the weekends in small supervised groups when they are younger and in pairs as they get older. It gives them some independence that they would not necessarily have if they were in a more isolated location.
If you are tossing up 11+ and 13+ entry, I would probably recommend 11+. My daughter started at 13+ and says she wishes she had been there earlier. They only take around 20 girls at 13+ for WA and it is very competitive. Also, as they take so few girls, my daughter felt that it took time to fit in as a lot of the friendship groups had already formed.
I how that helps and let me know if you need further information. Good luck with your decision!

@ExpatriateMum thank you so much for your helpful reply. Good to hear encouraging things about WA and it not being a hothouse! I have often wondered if this rumour perpetuates because historically there has been high competition to gain entry when actually there’s a far wider breadth of abilities than people think. It’s good to hear the views from the girls re the 11 or 13 debate too.

My daughter will have full input - her happiness is paramount!

I appreciate all your helpful pointers and advice everyone! Many thanks

We are also struggling to choose with offers from WA, CLC and DH. I’m leaning to WA, Husband would choose DH and Daughter can’t decide between WA and CLC but had a good feel for CLC. @ExpatriateMum any chance of a PM?
Have you made a decision @KindnessisKey?

Hi OP,

My daughter is currently at WA and enjoys it, i am hoping for me Younger DD to go in 2024.
My daughter had girls from Godstowe come in at 11+ as well as 13+. One of the girls at 13+ did say she had the option of coming at 11+ but opted for 13+.
They go into senior boarding houses in 2nd year so a year before the 13+ entry.
Truth is friendship are formed earlier amongst parents and girls but that's not to say the girls wouldn't settle in at 13+. the proportion isn't in favour of 13+ entry i would say.
Being in a feeder school would definitely help a 13+ entry otherwise could be very tough.

This might not be a popular opinion but WA isn't as Hothouse as people paint it as.
Obviously being a top Prep school, academics is important. It's a well rounded school and my DD who is sporty and not a hothouse is thriving. Theres a lot of team and individual sports opportunities. We are into Tennis, Lacrosse (she picked up in WA) and Netball. I have been thinking she might need to reduce hours on one as we approach GCSEs.
That's just to show how much they are being supported.
I really was surprised as i also heard all the news of it being too Academic before we went in.

Having said all of the above, it's a competitive school like a lot of the other top schools so surely for a child to pass the exams, they will be willing to maintain that level.