Does Anyone have an A-Level Student that isn’t off their heads with stress?

[PortiasBiscuit]

I have two DD, both in yr13. They are so unhappy. I remember these exams being tricky but I could still live my life, I slept well, I could have fun.
Are my girls just lacking in resilience, when did these things get so hard?

My DS just can't seem to focus, overwhelmed by it all and distracts himself by playing xbox instead of studying .

GS in year 13 lives with me. He's fine, enjoying life, lots of sport, looking for a job as his summer one finished. Maybe he's a bit too relaxed.

My year 12 dd is very stressed and has little downtime. But she is at a very academic school and has lots of extra curricular commitments and volunteering.

Why are they so unhappy and stressed? Is it pressure from the school? Social issues? Are they struggling with the work?

My dd did A Levels in the summer. She was at a grammar school, where she moved for sixth form. She wasn't stressed in year 13 particularly, in fact she kept up an incredibly busy social life throughout and left her revision a bit late. She had one or two social situations that made her unhappy in the first term, but otherwise she was fine. I think she was able to prioritise and not worry too much if she didn't have time to revise much for a test and got a low mark. She focused more on the mocks and did well in them, but day to day operated a 'just in time' approach. Can you elaborate on why your girls are finding things difficult?

@PortiasBiscuit
I think number of A levels, trying to keep
up/be the best can cause issues if they are competitive. Also I assume they are applying for universities. Have they made sensible applications? How are other DC behaving? Are lots semi hysterical? Are their friends competitive? What’s the ethos of the school?

I think you need a serious talk with them. Find out what the pressure is and try to destress the situation. If the school is ramping it up, speak to the school.

My DS just started uni. He was quite laid back in y13. Did lots outside school (sport, job girlfriend, socialising) and kept a sense of perspective. I think he could have done better in his grades if he'd worked harder, but he got what he needed for his first choice uni, which was A* AA.

I think it varies from child to child and school to school. DD is predicted BBB and seems quite laid back about it all. Definitely seems to manage going out with her boyfriend and going to the gym/socialising whilst working part time.

I worry sometimes she isn't studying enough 😬

@Itsadoglife That would only be an issue if she is AAA calibre. If she’s truly BBB then that’s fine isn’t it?

My dd is year 13, and has been very stressed recently, but I wouldn't say that she is unhappy - quite the contrary, actually.

She is applying for medicine so the whole process has been pretty full on - open days, admissions tests, A-level mocks, EPQ deadlines, work experience, voluntary work, getting her personal statement written etc. It's a heck of a lot to think about and it all feels quite high stakes for them.

However, she also has a very active social life, plenty of time with her friends and boyfriend, two part time jobs that she really enjoys and a hobby that she loves, so overall, I think life is pretty good in spite of the stress?

Most of her friends have been quite stressed recently too - especially the ones doing early UCAS applications for Oxbridge/medicine etc. I think it's pretty normal at this stage, really, but they are all still coping.

I guess the question that you have to consider is whether the level of stress has got to a point where it's affecting their ability to enjoy normal teenage stuff. If it is, then maybe they need some sort of intervention to help them manage it better. If not, then let them crack on and just accept that a degree of stress is probably inevitable for this age group.