any ideas ?

[mamazee]

My partner does not live with his 12 year old son. His ex is re-married and her husband pays for DS private education. The private school was chosen with no consultation with my partner and once decided he was asked to pay towards it, he refused as

1. he does not agree with the choice of school.
2. we cannot afford it.

He does pay maintenance and pay towards general stuff ie music, sport equipent etc

He would , however, like to know how his son is doing and term dates etc. the school has a password system on their website to access school dates. so my Dh wrote to the school to ask for the password and to have progress reports sent to him and info on parents evenings.

They have written back and said NO..
apparently they are contractually obligated to DS mum and her husband as they pay the fees ???
If he wants to attend open evenings he has to ask HER ??

How does that works ?? its like paying to be a parent ?

I know that state schools have to let BOTH parents go to open evenings and get reports/dates but is it for real that private schools are outside the law ??

Surely he should be able to get AT LEAST the dates ??

he is currently getting a court order as she
gave her new husband parental responsibility and NOT his dad...could that be it ??

HELP..

I would make an appointment to see the headteacher.

The school will be used to divorced parents, and the politicking that can go on, and he should be able to explain the procedures sensitively to you.

It may be that it is a misunderstanding understanding, or perhaps there's a bit of stirring going on.

good idea..
we just wanted to avoid that as his ds will be affected..

i agree there are loads of parents in this situation and it seems , at best, naive to believe one parent over another.

thanks for advice

You should be able to have a meeting without your DS being involved, or even aware.

You should be able to have a meeting without your DS being involved, or even aware.

A private school will probably be used to this kind of thing. I agree that you need to be proactive and insist on a meeting with the Head.
Private schools are not above the law - they just sometimes think they are!!

do schools ask about parental responsibilty orders ? ie will the head ask ?

Your dp could explain that he does pay towards the fees as his maintenance goes towards them.

If he doesn't have PR, then he should get it asap.