Picking the right secondary school

[QueenOfCakeandCoffee]

I’m feeling very conflicted at the moment, we have two local secondary schools in out town, which my daughter could walk to and another about a 15 min drive in a the next ‘new’ town.

school 1 (local) seemed okay, nothing wow is very hot on the students well-being - have a therapy dog, good ‘arts’ subject and improving in its results, enter some national competitions etc and the local communities view of it. Building quite dark and tied looking. Is next door to the local leisure centre so could go swimming after school.

school 2 (local) this seems to be the popular option, bigger, has historically done better at gsce’s, very strict, doesn’t offer any drama and limited creative options, built in the 1960’s and needs updating.

school 3 (15min drive away) it’s 10 years old and we’ll payed out, excellent exam results, seen as a school of excellence in STEM subject and applying for something similar, they seem to really listen to the students and up for making changes to how they work, good practice for the students wellbeing. The bus service the runs in closing down permanently so it would be driving, car share or taxi, most of the students that attend are local to the school so my daughter wouldn’t know anyone or be able to ‘knock for them’. it’s not in catchments so we’d have to be lucky to get a place.

Both my husband and I love school 3, other than the distance - I think kids gain lots of skill commuting/walking/cycling to school alone and having lifts takes that away, I don’t really want to have to drive there everyday either! I also think that living near your school mates really helps them be independent and helps build the friendships.
my daughter says she doesn’t like school 3, I think it’s because she’s scared of not knowing anyone and it being too far. She prefers school 1 and if we had to pick one of the local ones I would agree with her, it also looks like her best friend will apply for school 2 and she’s heart broken about it, but i’m dead against she going there,

I have know idea what to do! We can’t move the other town nor can I make my daughters best friend go to the same school…

does anyone have any pearls of wisdom or experienced a situation like this before?

From the way you talk about them I'd lis them in order

School 3
School 1
School 2

While accepting you would probably get school 1 or 2. But you don't lose anything by trying.

Agree with @PuttingDownRoots . Put the schools in the order you want them but include your catchment school. I dislike these over strict schools. Not doing drama fails children. Many need this for self esteem and fun. My DDs much preferred it to sport. Has given them confidence to speak publicly too. I can see your conflict but you know DD best. 3 does look like a long shot.

If the travel is sortable then from your description 3,1,2.

So think about the travel. What options are there other than you driving or a potential lift share. How long would cycling or walking take?

Don't put 3 down if you wouldn't be willing to drive her if there aren't other options!

i agree, put 3, 1, 2. You should be able to find online how far away the furthest child admitted lived last year. But be prepared to get a place and have a plan for transport! We put a longshot school as first choice and got it, and while it’s logistically more difficult DD is loving it so far.

I'd go for 1 or 2, depending on your dds personality.

Does she need a strict environment or a more nurturing one? Is she creative?

If there was any alternative I wouldn’t apply to a school that made my Dd dependent on a lift from me, twice a day.

Fine if there was a bus. But 2 return journeys add up to an hours driving and petrol use a day.

Her friends would be meeting up after school, being spontaneous and independent.

I wouldn’t worry about the state of the buildings either. There is no correlation between quality of teaching and student welfare, and the age of the buildings.

She is still young but what is your inkling about her strengths? Creative etc? STEM?

weve had a good think and decided to not put school 2 on the list, I don’t want her to do there and would feel gutted if she had to.

I’ve got a call with school 1 to ask a few more questions and i’m hoping that will make it easier to put that at the top of the list and the school 3 won’t feel like the one that got away!

she’s a hard worker and loves creative subjects but also seems to do well at the STem areas, she is sensitive and takes being told off to heart.
i completely agree with @SuperCamp about being able to do spontaneous things with her mates after school and school 3 would make that hard without public transport.

thank you for replying, it’s helped writing it down and sleeping on it!

@QueenOfCakeandCoffee Hang on. If you don't put school 2 on the list are there any other schools you can feasibly qualify for?

Missing school 2 out and leaving a space blank at the end could be a mistake.
If you don't get 1 or 3 then what? They may allocate you school 2, but if it is full of children who put it somewhere on their list you could get school 17 miles away that you don't think is ay better.

Even if you think now you would prefer to homeschool than go to school 2, still put it down as it keeps options open. Putting it last on the list does not impact whether you get into 1 or 3.

Always include catchment school. Even if you don’t like it much. You always need a fall
bsck position. If you don’t get one of the other two, you might be allocated one miles away!

I hadn’t thought of that!
thanks for the heads up

Are you sure she has an equal chance of getting into all 3? Are there any entry criteria that would make it less likely she'd get into one or more? There are lots of Secondaries around us but only 1 accepts pupils from our village. I'd go for the one you want followed by any others you think she's got a good chance of getting into, as a backup.

Most areas have a school you will get into. In our area, it’s living in catchment for a school. LA provides maps. Obviously other schools might have a space based on their admissions criteria and popularity, but here you must put down the catchment school or heavens knows where you might get allocated if you are not given your preferred schools.

HI OP you have had good advice on here. I would add a couple of points;
Firstly, as others say, please do put school 2 on the list – you lose nothing and may gain, by not having your dd allocated a school you don’t like that is many miles away. And I suspect you may think that not putting school 2 down means the LA will have to give you school 1 or 3 – that’s not the case sadly. If you don’t qualify for either, you will get whatever school has places.

Secondly, please think about the distance of school 3. A 15-minute drive both ways for you means an hour or more in the car daily. I assume you either do not work or have a very flexible job; I have never had a job where I could leave at 3pm and return at 3.40 on a daily basis. Obv if you run your own business or work from home in a role where you can take a late lunch then it may be different. But even then, bear in mind that things may change on that front.
Even if the commute was feasible for you, I would think twice (or more) about the commitment. Is there no service bus of any kind? We are talking five or even seven years of lifts here. That sounds really unfeasible to me if I am honest – not to mention the issues which you are well aware of around independence for your dd.

In addition, when you say 15 mins – have you driven it at 8.30am? A school localish to me (10-min drive in the middle of the day) is very popular and some children from my area go there each year. It’s a great school but the students from my area have to walk 25 mins to the bus stop, 10-min bus ride and then a further walk. But I have driven past a massive queue of buses and cars at 8.30am (going the opposite way you understand) which makes me think that at that time of day the bus ride must be taking at least 20-25 mins. So you could be signing up for uo to 45 mins in the car in the morning.

I should clarify - I have driven in the opposite direction (ie I am heading home) at 8.30am and there is a huge queue of cars going the other way, heading for the popular school - I suspect people must find the journey takes up to 25mins.

If your daughter really doesn't want school 3 then I am not sure I would put it top at this minute. You really need to talk to your daughter more.

Also will you definitely get into your 2 local schools if you put them down?

I live in a city where most high schools are seriously over subscribed. Loads will apply to our 1st choice and not get it, even though they could reasonably walk / cycle to the school (we have the benefit of catchment).

I would suggest you really consider all your options and also is it a high birth year? What will the pressure be on local schools this year? What are the chances of a place at school 3? Is it a wasted choice? You can go on waiting lists later?

As others have said, be really sure about whether it is actually a 15 minute drive at drop off time (and then presumably a 15 minute drive back).

Also worth considering - do both you and your husband drive, are you both reasonably able to to the pick up/drop off? What’s the back up plan for if you’re ill or can’t take her for some other reason (not saying there isn’t a back up plan, but worth having thought it through!)

I haven’t done the drive at commuter time, i’m currently trying to find some local families that attend school 3 to get a good idea of what it’s like.

I’ve also arranged a call with school 1 to ask some questions, i’m hoping this will make it the top choice and a easier decision.

we’ll then put the list as

school 1
school 3
school 2

thank you again for all of your thoughts, they’ve been very helpful.

Op that's fine, but just to say that if you prefer school 3, you lose nothing by putting it top choice. If you are (more or less certain) to get a place in school 1, then a punt at school 3 will not put your school 1 place in jeopardy. If you put school 3 second then I would say you almost certainly will not get it (as you will get school 1). Does that make sense?

It does, I want to make sure she can get to school 3.

Ok for sure, but what I am trying to say is, if you don't put it as first choice, it's academic, as you will be offered School 1 (I would certainly imagine) as it is nearer and you prefer it. If that is OK with you then happy days.

The important thing is in the next couple of weeks try the drop off and collection route at the right time. if you can pick a rainy day all the better. You need to understand how doable the run would be. If it really is 15mins each way then that's one thing, if it is more like 30mins each way that is another.