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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Is this worthy if detention?

22 replies

highschool · 06/10/2022 22:37

Heard from my DC (year 7) that 2 classmates have had their ties ripped off and stolen away by year 11 kids (clip on ties).
Both children told teachers who just shrugged (I'm told) & later said that older year groups bullying is impossible to prevent.

The next day the ties were still missing, the uniform shop hadn't been open after school to buy a replacement, so both kids were given detentions.

A - this seems unfair
B - how can you stop older kids doing this as a teacher/head/slt?

Anyone else come across this? I'm a bit disappointed in the school tbh.

OP posts:

Johnnysgirl · 06/10/2022 22:39

Clip on ties?

leccybill · 06/10/2022 22:39

In my school, they'd check the CCTV for that.

Original poster

highschool · 06/10/2022 22:43

Johnnysgirl · 06/10/2022 22:39

Clip on ties?

Yeah - presumably so the kids don't throttle each other...

OP posts:

Original poster

highschool · 06/10/2022 22:44

leccybill · 06/10/2022 22:39

In my school, they'd check the CCTV for that.

I'm told one of the incidents was in/near the pe changing rooms, so no cctv.

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TwigTheWonderKid · 06/10/2022 22:44

So Year 7 pupils were assaulted by Year 11 pupils and not only is nothing done by the school, these pupils are then punished for having been assaulted?

I would be more than "a bit disappointed" by that.

Original poster

highschool · 06/10/2022 22:49

TwigTheWonderKid · 06/10/2022 22:44

So Year 7 pupils were assaulted by Year 11 pupils and not only is nothing done by the school, these pupils are then punished for having been assaulted?

I would be more than "a bit disappointed" by that.

It was more the shrug and "these things happen" attitude from the staff that shocked me tbh

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CryCeratops · 06/10/2022 22:49

This sounds really rubbish of the school.
They’re essentially punishing these Year 7 pupils for being bullied.

My DC1 - just started Year 7 - left his tie on the bus on the way to school last week, and the school lent him a spare tie for the day. No detention. And that was a breach of uniform due to his carelessness.

Clip on ties at DC1’s school too BTW.

Indigokitten · 06/10/2022 22:53

No idea what you mean by this comment, it’s very common in the UK

Original poster

highschool · 06/10/2022 23:00

Indigokitten · 06/10/2022 22:53

No idea what you mean by this comment, it’s very common in the UK

Which comment @Indigokitten ?

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Original poster

highschool · 06/10/2022 23:01

So, I don't work in education, but what's the best way for a school to clamp down on this? I need to think productively otherwise im just going to get cross...

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SweetsAndChocolates · 07/10/2022 08:52

@highschool that's awful. So the school are basically saying, year 11 students can bully younger ones and everyone has just got to get hard to it?
Oh top of that, the victims are being punished?!

I'm wondering whether the year 7 pupil's parents are fully aware of what has happened, and if so why have they not complained?

WhatNoRaisins · 07/10/2022 08:56

It doesn't sound like the mark of a good school does it.

Original poster

highschool · 07/10/2022 08:56

AFAIK the parents have complained, but I don't know what the response was.

OP posts:

SweetsAndChocolates · 07/10/2022 09:00

Sorry should have read 'everyone has to get used to it'

I hope they're taking the parents complaints seriously.

MermaidEyes · 07/10/2022 09:07

For a start, if the teachers and headteacher weren't listening, I'd be writing to the Governors with a formal complaint. Unfortunately, despite the so called anti-bullying policies most schools have, a lot do naff all about it and prefer to brush it under the carpet.

OzricTentacles · 07/10/2022 09:27

Standard secondary school response IME. Unkind behaviour swept under the carpet, and detentions for the most minor infringements that are often not even the child's fault.

WhatNoRaisins · 07/10/2022 09:34

I don't know if it's even worth a complaint, I'd consider other schools as this is probably the tip of the iceberg.

LadyLapsang · 07/10/2022 18:05

I would have been in the school or sending an email at the end of the day to find out their plan to find the tie and, if appropriate, punish the bully. It’s a bit like the broken window approach to crime, you tackle the seemingly small things to make a big impact.

Feetache · 11/10/2022 07:43

It's poor by the school but also hard to manage these things unless the DC can show exactly who it was. They could be making it up. A loan of a tie for a day would have helped.
Everyone I know has a spare tie and some have 2 as DC loose them. Cost 5 pounds. Ours our clip on too. Thought that was standard

Feetache · 11/10/2022 07:46

Our school has 1500 kids so they just don't have time to intervene over every lost cheap tie. (Or other item). It tough but true.

prh47bridge · 11/10/2022 08:55

Ties get lost or damaged. They should have had spares. However, teachers effectively saying they can't stop bullying is inappropriate. At one level it is true - you can't completely stop bullying. But there are plenty of things schools can do to deal with it. The attitude of these teachers suggests that the school isn't doing anything effective. Not acceptable.

WhatNoRaisins · 11/10/2022 08:56

It's the pettiness over ties combined with the casual attitude to the bullying. A lot of secondaries just have a toxic Lord of The Flies culture and that's not something you can change by complaining.

If you want him to stay there he will need to learn to keep his head down and not expect much from his teachers.

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