11+ how did you decide to go for it?

[strawberryjem]

I'm really torn about whether to prepare my ds for the 11+ or not. We live in an area close to some amazing grammar schools but also very good state schools. My ds is bright and enjoys being stretched but can be prone to anxiety. His primary school is outstanding and in an affluent area and most of his year 4 class is already having tutoring including those not as academic as ds, by year 6 most of the pupils are entered for the test with a handful getting a place. Is the process really stressful? I wouldn't want to put him under too much stress for him then not to get a place but equally recognise how good the grammar schools are. How did you decide?

Your DS sounds like mine.

In our area we don't have many grammar schools so the competition is quite intense but only a few from our primary school applied. The other schools in our area where all faith schools which we would not come high enough on the criteria list as we are the wrong faith. The none faith schools were not a good fit for DS.

For us therefore the decision was quite easy as we didn't have a back up other than to go private. I can't say that the process was without stress as DS worked both with me and a tutor to familiarise himself with the style of test and content he needed to cover.

We also had moments when DS resisted as he didn't think he was good enough. He absolutely was and I knew it so together we got over his wobbles.

The decision was the right one. He got a place and has thrived. Did well in GCSE's this year and has chosen to stay on for sixth form.

If you feel that the school is the right fit for your son and he is bright enough to cope with the pace then a little push in the right direction is necessary.

We made the decision to prepare DD for the 11+ and she sits it next week.

DD has always done very well in school however is prone to being anxious so it was a tough decision as to whether to go ahead with it.

DD is currently holding up well.

We made the decision based on the fact that the only other option did not seem a good fit for DD. When we discussed the options with DD, she was keen to do the 11+

There have been periods of doubt with preparation, where DD has not wanted to practise, but I would say "no problem, we don't need to do the 11+ at all if you don't want to." That was usually enough to encourage her back on track as she wanted to do it.

The next week will be nail-biting as we await the exam and then the results.

Good luck with your decision.

I did my 11+ and went to grammar school. So it’s always just been a thing that my kids will do when they get to that age.
1 bailed at last minute.
1 passed
1 didn’t score high enough.
1- well he sat the test today so time will tell!

For us our closest state school was a superselective Grammar. We didn’t have a great choice of non-grammar for DD, it was better if you had a DS as there was a good boys comp in catchment.

She was the one that chose the school based on open days (we probably did them a year earlier than most of my friends for this reason) and we told her if she wanted that school she’d need to work hard. She therefore worked on the ten minute test books, got the place and thrived. She isn’t anxious but does have problems with change or background noise.

She made it and chose to stay on at the grammar sixth form rather than take up an offer at a highly prestigious private sixth form.

Our family attitude has always been ‘if you don’t try you’ll never achieve anything, somethings you will fail at but you can go forward knowing at least you tried’.

We retook DD to see the grammars to see what she thought. When she said she wanted to try the test we did at home prep, no tutor. We now have to think about applying after shebsat thebtest today and we've seen the local non-grammars this week. We've made clear all along we will support her in having choice about where she goes, whether she prefers a grammar or non-grammar.

We didn’t. Our daughter made the choice and the teacher said she had a decent chance so we supported her. She’s in year eight now, it’s in my opinion not the sort of thing you can decide for a child. Think beyond the exam would be my advice, they get a lot of homework and are tested relentlessly.

11 plus is pure evil.
we came from a pre- prep school and no grammars and my husband didn’t want his kids in comp (it’s pretty rubbish) so we had to do 11 plus.
we didn’t tutor, we didn’t get the school we wanted just the back up boys senior school…..

every kid is tutored within my sons class (95% of independents kids) that I didn’t know (until after the exam) about all his friends were tutored - it’s so ridiculous and stressful the whole thing and a tiny amount of places for massive areas (bus links coming from vast areas) plus the whole sibling policy too to annoy you 🤪

my son hated it and I hated it. However, that was coming from a boy who doesn’t like to do extra mile with work / didn’t want to revise do past papers and does the bare minimum 😂 my daughter will fly as she enjoys work!

If your boy is nervous and doesn’t like to do work I’d put him in the local comp. Less stress and happiness is worth a million pounds.

Personally, I don't think it's often worth it.

If you have great local schools stick with that rather the bussing them to far away places so that they are able to walk to school, enjoy local friendships as they are getting more independent rather than having to reply on you to drive them around whenever they want to meet up with someone, which if you have more than one child and both parents work, can be a logical nightmare.

It also depends on what kind of grammar school, some are highly competitive and take in the top of the top. I have seen time and agin how some poor dc who are used to being the highest achieving in their primary school fail to get in. Why did they fail to get in? Because there are a handful of top achievers in every single classroom but with super selective most of them will not be good enough, they were just the best in a classroom of 30. That's sadly and cruelly the nature of the 11+ beast.

logistical

Hi @strawberryjem !

I would go for it - we certainly did. There's hard work to do, which you are clearly aware of. Your son will be stronger for it, academically and as a person. For us, it was not more stressful or more upsetting than drama or dance auditions or who was netball captain and, eventually, who was Head Girl. It built resilience. And it's good practice for assessments and exams later in life. Most of all, it builds the core experience of improving through hard work.

The wisdom of our Tutor also helped a lot to keep us calm.

Why not do the entrance exams and then decide? Our view on schools and what would work best for our daughter changed enormously from the middle of Year 5.

Thank you! I'm still a bit undecided but it's really interesting to hear everyone's views. We have three local, very good, comprehensive schools within walking distance but the best grammar is just a short train ride away as well. I might go and visit them all this year and see if I thjnk the grammar is worth the extra effort. I am trained as a teacher so could tutor my son a little myself to begin with before I fully decide!

Our situation was similar – good local comprehensives but also a couple of really top notch super-selective grammars. We just did home prep – I am not a teacher but I did my research (the 11 plus forum is massively helpful: www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/forum/11plus/index.php) and if your child is happy to work with you there is no need to hire a tutor for the CEM or GL 11 plus tests.

In our area, only about 1/3 of the class sat the test, and I don’t think many had tutors. In a nearby, more affluent area, most of the class had a tutor from the start of Y4, and it was all very stressful, with lots of borderline scores and plenty of secrecy. I can’t see that the huge expenditure and stress on those kids made much difference: it was still the brightest kids that got in.

If you think you can work effectively at home with your DS, you should be able to keep it quite low stress. In Y4 the main thing to do is to make sure he’s on top of all the learning at school, fluent with his times tables and is reading a variety of books (including out loud) and is exploring any new vocab. On top of that, you could find a couple of short slots per week to sit with him and look at some ‘picture puzzles’ (non-verbal reasoning questions) and perhaps some online maths games (nrich and maths playground.)

As a trained teacher, you will be in a much better position than I was to help your child, but honestly, looking back, I relished the challenge of learning what it was all about, and carrying the pressure myself, to keep it quite low-key for my daughter.

Mine sat but it was our second closest school and not a super selective.
I definitely think it’s worth taking him to see schools yr5 to see if he likes it.
Some things you can do now is encourage a wide range of reading material particularly classics - there’s a lot of 11 plus type lists if you google. It’s good for vocabulary and general knowledge whether they sit or not.
Maths was trickiest for us as they needed to have covered yr 6 curriculum by week 3 of yr 6, but all tests differ.