Long walk to school

[HearMeSnore]

DD starts secondary school this term. It's a 40 minute walk there and back. I will be walking with her until she's confident going alone, but I can't help feeling nervous about her walking by herself. She's a total scatterbrain and has no sense of direction. She managed to get lost when she went for her first trial day, and she only had to walk to the end of the road where I was waiting for her.

Her new school has a strict, absolute "no phones" rule. No exceptions. Not even smart watches.

I'm just wondering whether it's possible to use an air-tag attached to her bag, so I can find out where she is in the event that she doesn't arrive home when she's supposed to? I've never used an air-tag before so have no idea if they can be used in this way.

If not, other ideas are welcome!

We live 3-4km in a village from our local secondary and all the secondary kids walk together in small groups. It takes them about an hour. It's absolutely the done thing. They get quite excited in primary discussing it.
This may not bother you or her, but I would say I'm fairly sure you will be the only parent walking a year 7 child to school. If it doesn't bother you, fine. But, just in case, I'd be walking the journey every day with her from now until school starts in case she's absolutely mortified on the first day.

Phone SWITCHED OFF and at bottom of the bag should be a non-issue. Even DC's school with a similar strict policy turned a blind eye to this. Just stress that she must not get it out within sight of the school (at the bus stop for example).

I am usually the first to be anti-phones and definitely anti-bending rules, but this seems like a no brainer, and a safety issue. Your daughter needs a phone if she is walking alone for emergencies. I would get her a basic, non internet phone, and either tell her to keep it off at the bottom of her bag and NEVER get it out in school (if she does, the punishment is deserved and on her) or to hand it in a the office each day.
As for the 40 minute walk, this is normal at this age, and within a few weeks she will hopefully have made some friends to walk with.

Your daughter surely can't be the only student walking to school. Check with other parents in the area.
But I agree that a brick phone, in a small bag, switched off, at the bottom of their normal bag, is not going to attract attention.

I'd also suggest that future secondary school parents should take note - build up freedom/independence for your DC gradually (over, say, a couple of years). Don't leave it until a few weeks before they start secondary school.

@FawnFrenchieMum Exactly! That's very much the situation where we are.

I knew there was a "no phones" rule when we applied to the school but thought nothing of it. I assumed that it was standard practice everywhere and just meant phones had to be switched off and left in lockers during school hours. It wasn't until the parents' welcome meeting when the head teacher gave his talk about rules and behaviour that it became apparent it was much stricter than that. It was a bit late by then, to change my mind about sending her there.

And yes - we have been practicing the route over the summer. She's done it 4 times now either with me or with DH, but still insists she wants me to walk with her for the first few days. She'll rapidly change her mind I'm sure. But even when she's perfectly confident with the route and is regularly walking alone, I'd feel a lot happier if I had a way to keep tabs on her until I know she's home.

Air-tag (or similar) it is, then. And possibly an old Nokia as well - she'd be too embarrassed to be seen with it to risk getting it out of her bag unless it was an emergency. I just need to find out if school does random bag checks. I'm seeing a friend who has an older child at the school this weekend. I'll ask.

Some useful comments here - thanks all!

I'd push back on this. A child walking a busy, 40 minute journey to school and back needs to have access to a phone for safety reasons! It's vanishingly unlikely but children get abducted on these sorts of journeys precisely because they're alone. Obviously that's a very extreme example.

But what if she got lost? Or fell?

I have a 15yr old DD and the rule is no phones out at school - they're confiscated immediately if seen - but hers is switched off and in her bag during the day.

Fair enough OP.

It still needs a lot more practice if she still hasn't got it. The confidence will come when she does. Also practice her getting "lost". We used to walk DC to somewhere on our estate then they had to find their own way home. Also if there's somewhere she can find a loo or buy a drink on the way home it might be worth checking that out with her. We have a cafe marked out for loos and make sure she has the right card or cash to buy something if needed. It's a bit complicated at the moment - a lot of shops have gone card only but some are still cash only under £5.

I'm doing research at the moment on airtag vs similar things (we're on Android) and would be interested in what you find out on that.

Just let her get the bus. There will be plenty of other people with phones so she can call you if there is an emergency. My ds was hopeless with numbers when he was little, so I wrote my phone number inside his shoes.

You could put a tracker in her bag as well. But that tells you where her bag is, not your DD so can be misleading.

Schools don't get to dictate whether DCs have phones on them on the way to and from school, although they can have a policy of having to hand them in when DCs arrive.

Two of mine had medical conditions which could potentially become very serious, even life-threatening, during a 40-minute walk. I'd be totally ignoring pushing back hard on that policy. As PP have said, a basic phone at the bottom of a school bag is a sensible rule.

The school near us has had parents pushing back for years but they won’t budge on it.

It a wonderful school in every other way and would be my first choice but the phone thing just puts me off. The only way of getting the cheapest option of the weekly / monthly bud pass in our area is on a phone app. It’s madness.

@FawnFrenchieMum Sane here - a work colleague sent her DD to our school and the total phone ban came in while she was there. They tried "phones off, in lockers" for a few years but it didn't work. Too many lost phones, cyber-bullying complaints, lessons disrupted etc because kids ignored the rules. Letters went out to parents warning there would be an absolute ban unless the rules were followed... there was no improvement. So the ban happened. Parents have been pushing back ever since but to no avail.

In every other way it's a very well-regarded school. Everyone I know who has sent their kids there says it's brilliant, especially for kids with not much confidence who need a little extra encouragement. That's why we chose it. I'd probably still have chosen it if I'd known just how strict the phone ban is.

We'll find a way to work with the rules. If she has to take a detour via the office twice a day, every day, so be it.