Hi, I'm about to embark on a PGDE in Scotland but am getting really cold feet reading all the negativity. I was hoping to get the other side of the story, are there any positive experiences?
Bit of context - I've taught English as a foreign language to teenagers and adults for a number of years. I'd say my classes with teenagers were a bit better because the anxiety of managing them made me put in a bit more work. I then transitioned to teaching adults full time. In fact this was the second time in ESL where I taught full time (the first time it was my first job and I got sacked because I couldn't keep up with "the pace"). Anyways, this time I had a lot more experience but again couldn't manage it. I was teaching classes for 6.5 hours, so not just prep but actual classroom teaching. I found the strain of it too much combined with the commute and had to request to go back to part time - this eventually led me to being fired because they wanted full time teachers.
In my next job I had the teenager class from hell where I had to teach out of control feral teenagers for 4 hours with another teacher. They didn't listen to the him either. In fact when we swapped classes the behaviour in the second class was worse. Anyways I walked out of that job because I didn't get any support from the admin, in fact just gaslighting. I also had problems with IBS, exacerbated by early morning rises and would regularly fall asleep in the evenings as I'm a nightowl. I wouldn't say I'm smart, charismatic or good with bantering with "the characters". I'm a serious type rather than entertaining. Therefore I'm worried I'd be meat for the grinder in the Scottish education system.
I'm willing to adapt myself and deal with the issues I have, but at the same time I don't want to wash out after 3 months with 10k lost to tuition fees, accommodation and living expenses. I also have a problem with accommodation at the moment in that I can't get anywhere that's quiet enough (light sleeper/insomnia) and which has ensuite (IBS again). I'm concerned that if I have a stressful living arrangement this will compound the stress of the course and again I'll burn out. I want to give this every chance of success but the horror stories don't help and I'm wondering if I'm self-sabotaging before I even start. Simultaneously, I don't to stick my hand in a meat grinder as I may not be "the right stuff".