I'm on the fence with this. Because in theory I don't think for society, Grammars are a good thing.
But. I have a child who has ASD. Likely, in years gone by she's had been diagnosed with Aspergers (like me). Autism with no learning difficulties, quite the opposite. She's young at the moment so I won't have to think about her next school for a couple of years but already she is academically 2+ years ahead of the 'expected' standard in all areas. She goes to a great Primary, but the comp secondary schools around here 1) aren't great with SEN and 2) are known for having poor behaviour/picking on bright kids etc etc. I'm not making assumptions, i have family working in both schools, friends whose children attend them and I also work in some capacity with SEN/schools in this area.
We have a fairly local grammar school and I won't lie I am starting to consider it for the future if nothing changes in the next 3 years. Because I want her to go somewhere that her being bright and high achieving isn't something to be teased about. I want her to go somewhere where really disruptive and poor behaviour just isn't tolerated. I don't want her, who struggles socially way more than most of her peers anyway, to have to spark and love of learning knocked out of her in an attempt to 'fit in' with peers.
Does that make me a massive hypocrite? Yes, probably. But if the option is there, damn right I will send her to a place where she is supported to learn to the best of her ability, celebrated for achieving and be happy in that, rather than a comp down the road where her being good at school work will be bullied out of her before she finishes year seven. She's a child that needs rules, likes routine and gets very anxious when other children misbehave and break the rules. That sort of behaviour is less tolerated at a grammar - or at the one I've been looking at, anyway. I'm not a big enough person to make a sacrifice on her behalf for the good of society, on principle. I'll hold my hands up and own that.
I also agree that SEN provision needs to improve across the board. Closing SEN schools in the guise of being inclusive was a huge error. It's not inclusive to shove square pegs in round holes. Some SEN children are fine - and thrive if well supported - in mainstream schools. Some, without doubt need and benefit from specialist placements and we need way more of these. Then you have whole raft of children with SEN in the middle who currently wouldn't get near a specialist placement as their support needs aren't deemed high enough but equally will never, no matter how well supported they are or what their academic ability is (and some of these children are very bright!) be able to cope in a mainstream classroom. These children - if there were sufficient places - would ideally be in hubs attached to mainstream schools but these hubs are few and far between. The ones we have locally are brilliant but the spaces are so so limited and there are zero in secondary schools.
The whole education system in this country is a mess, and children are being failed left right and centre.