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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Getting DS ready for Yr7

37 replies

Feckthisishard · 26/07/2022 18:32

Hallo, I’m sure this has been covered many times but I’m looking for any advice on how to prep my son for secondary school (state).

It’s obviously a big jump, with the biggest change seeming to be the moving around between classes, and having to remember all the different books. For those who’ve got a yr8 or older boys, is there anything I need to particularly think about, and help him get ready for?

thanks 🙏

OP posts:
Feetache · 26/07/2022 18:43

Travel to and from on own.
Understanding use of social media to make friends but not get in trouble.
To walk away from any hassle.
To check he has what he needs each morning.
Time management.

cansu · 26/07/2022 18:46

I always wonder about these threads. I am not sure that you can help him find his way round and remember his books etc. Surely the school will help him with those things like they have for thousands of other year 7s. The only role you have is to buy his uniform and stationery. It may be that you need to prepare yourself for the step back in involvement compared to primary school.

Oblomov22 · 26/07/2022 18:49

He will be given a timetable. Pack his bag the night before. Get pe kit ready and uniform ready for next day. And make a sandwich. Then you go to bed as prepared as you can be = a nice feeling.

rainbowandglitter · 26/07/2022 18:50

I've got a year 8 ds. I didn't do anything different to when he was at Primary School.

redskyatnight · 26/07/2022 18:55

Oblomov22 · 26/07/2022 18:49

He will be given a timetable. Pack his bag the night before. Get pe kit ready and uniform ready for next day. And make a sandwich. Then you go to bed as prepared as you can be = a nice feeling.

Don't do this.
He should pack his own bag and get his ow PE kit and uniform ready (tbh my DC's PE kit sat in their lockers until holidays and never came home otherwise). He should also make his own lunch if not buying it.

Ideally you would have been getting him to do this through primary school, but if he really hasn't done any of this for himself before, then perhaps it's reasonable to check for the first week or two.
If you keep doing stuff for him, he'll never become independent.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 26/07/2022 18:57

Just make sure he’s got everything ready the night before for the next day.
apart from that they do have a steep learning curve.

Oblomov22 · 26/07/2022 18:59

@redskyatnight

I didn't mean mum do it! I meant encourage ds to do it himself!

redskyatnight · 26/07/2022 18:59

The main thing my DC found hard was working out when to do homework. At first it's useful to talk through what homework they have, how long they think it will take and when they should start it. But they also need to find their own way. DS will always be mostly a last minute artist (but even he realised you couldn't leave everything until the last minute if you had lots due on the same day. DD tended to at least start homework the day it was set.

We found it useful to have a spare set of stationary at home, so that the school stuff could just stay in a pencil case in a blazer pocket (less chance of forgetting things).

Don't argue with the older students. Remember everyone is as nervous as you are, and if you ask someone if you can sit with them at lunch (for example) they are fairly likely to say "yes".

redskyatnight · 26/07/2022 19:01

Oblomov22 · 26/07/2022 18:59

@redskyatnight

I didn't mean mum do it! I meant encourage ds to do it himself!

Phew! Though I do know quite a few parents who were still doing this for their DC in Year 11. And wondering why their DC were so incapable in other ways.

Singleandproud · 26/07/2022 19:09

Minimise the bags they have to carry in their hands, school bag, PE kit, boot bag, food tech, lunch etc. Something is bound to get left behind. I bought DD a Hershel bag from Surfdome (on sale at the time) it fits everything in and still looks as good as new a year later, totally worth the money.

Most children put their essential stationery in their blazer pocket. DD had a spare pencil case in the bottom of her bag incase she needed it. Make sure they restock both (and sharpen pencils) on a Sunday.

Provide your DS with as much equipment as possible to reduce having to share, scissors, glue, scientific calculator. Many of the children I teach don't even bother with a pencil and pen and we waste an insane amount of time finding stationary for them to use and then sanctioning them for not having it.

Singleandproud · 26/07/2022 19:12

*stationery for them to use

This is the style bag she uses and there is 10% off the sale price.

NoodleSnow · 26/07/2022 19:16

The routine of them getting books etc ready the night before really helps. It’s also worth making sure they’re confident about the route to and from school (and any relevant back up plans for floods or bus/train cancellations etc).
My Y7 packed herself lunches sometimes in the first few weeks because she was struggling to find time to queue at the canteen and still have time to eat, so worth keeping an eye on how the food situation goes.

MrsScrubbingbrush · 26/07/2022 19:27

The best tip we picked up on Mumsnet was to invest in a set of cardboard magazine holders. Label them Monday-Friday for his workbooks.

Then when he's packing his bag for the next day he can check when he has that subject again. So, say he has Maths on Monday but not again until Wednesday he puts his maths book in the holder marked Wednesday. It makes it easy to find the books and he's not left last minute hunting.

My DDs have just finished Secondary School & about to go off to 6th form college. This system has worked for them throughout their time at school. It may involve you helping to start with.

Also, remember that the move will be a steep learning curve for him and a lot gets thrown at them in Y7 especially the threat of detention for just about anything!

Feckthisishard · 26/07/2022 19:29

Thanks everyone. It’s good to get the tips.

I’m fully on board with the independence thing and I’m a single parent working FT, so the OTT mollycoddling has never been a practical approach in our house!

DS is actually pretty good at remembering stuff but I think secondary is still a big step up. He’s packed his own PE kit (and remembered which day etc) for years but getting him to do his own lunches might be an idea, even on a couple of days pw.

Any way that I can help him find his own feet is a good thing, I think.

OP posts:
MeditationAndMusic · 26/07/2022 19:29

Encourage good organisational skills. From having his bag ready to getting homework in on time, it will really help.

Schools are really good at getting the kids settled though in in my experience. I was surprised both times how smooth the transition was for my children. Within a few weeks it was like they’d been there for years. I think the whole process has much improved from when I started secondary school.

redskyatnight · 26/07/2022 19:31

I think it's worth pointing out that schools do do things differently. For example, my DC's school doesn't allow books home unless revising for tests/exams so the book related tips here would be irrelevant.
If you can find out a bit more about routine at the school you are actually going to ahead of time that would be useful (try local Facebook group or one of his friend's parents with an older sibling).

NoodleSnow · 26/07/2022 21:24

There’s a nice book for the transition - Go Big: The Survivor’s Guide to Secondary School.

NeverEnoughCake2 · 27/07/2022 00:59

Agree with establishing a single space at home to store all books/textbooks that aren't needed for the next day's lessons. Saves endless faffing looking in multiple places for what he needs the next day.

Other useful trick was teaching him to use the washing machine, so he can stick his own muddy PE kit in as soon as he gets home

Swimmum1206 · 27/07/2022 08:58

DS is about to go into Y12. I still remember day 3 of Y7 he forgot his pencil case and was absolutely devastated about the threat of a lunchtime detention!! Definitely pack the bag the night before. All through Y7-Y11 he insisted I check his timetable and bag with him every night before bed after forgetting his pencil case on day 3! Also have a complete pencil case/stationary set at home for homework so the school pencil case stays in the bag.

Have a copy of the timetable printed and somewhere around his homework area

Try to relax and enjoy the next few years. Believe me, they go far too fast!!

Singleandproud · 27/07/2022 09:46

The idea if getting a detention filled my DD with dread, we were late one morning in October as the car unexpectedly needed defrosting. She had a detention, lost her break but it was well worth it as it eased her mind. She's never had a detention since but at least she knows it's not like going to the choky in Matilda, she had this idea that it would be a scary experience rather than a mild inconvenience. So whilst I don't advocate poor behaviour, getting a detention for a minor issue early on is quite good if you have a worrier child.

TeenDivided · 27/07/2022 09:55

A good quality stiff plastic A4 wallet for transferring loose sheets of paper too and from home so they don't end up crumpled in the bottom of the bag.

(Possibly less relevant now than 6 years ago when DD2 started, or 12 years ago when DD1 started.)

A copy of the timetable up at home.

An understanding that some children may be independent within 2 weeks, some will take until half term or Christmas, but some who are less mature or who have diagnosed/undiagnosed SN may need much more scaffolding for far longer.

Some children need help because their parents do too much for them, some parents do a lot because their children wouldn't otherwise cope.

reluctantbrit · 28/07/2022 07:26

How to travel to and from school
If he needs a bus/train, organise an app on his phone
Set up a fixed area at home where his school books are and where he will do his homework.
Ensure you set up a list with all log ins for his school websites and apps.
If he has a locker with a key padlock, keep a spare key at home.
Always pack bags the previous day

Sweetleftfood · 28/07/2022 09:23

All really good tips here, I have two boys, and the Y8 one is really organised, packs his bag the night before and leaves early, while the Y10 is shockingly disorganised ;-) up and down the stairs about a million times in the morning. He is never late but I am sure it's touch and go some mornings. I have given up even shouting at him in the mornings

One little tip is when you wash the blazer if he has one, make sure you put all their stuff from the pockets in the same place as in our house anything and everything get lost and I always get the blame .....

QuattroFromagio · 28/07/2022 09:45

Agree about the detentions - I've taught pupils who've been so anxious about getting one, and the longer it goes on without one, the more anxious they get. Once it's happened and they know what it's like, they relax and feel much better about everything. it doesn't mean they don't care or don't try not to get one, but the fear of the unknown is removed.

Cards, keys etc on a springy lanyard in a bag can be useful, if they always have that bag with them. A sneaky fiver or a few coins somewhere that they don't use often as an emergency is handy, if you can trust them not to just spend them every break!

Spare pens and pencils that you don't mind getting lost, so that they can on occasion lend them out to someone who doesn't have one, which can be a useful way of starting to chat to someone.

Photo of timetable on phone.

Write down clearly all the user names and passwords for every different email, homework site, maths program etc etc. So many children put them in once, have the device save the password, and then can't remember it a couple of months later when they have to log in somewhere else, or reset their device or whatever. Then they can't remember to go to the IT office or teacher to get a new one, etc, and there's no access for ages to their accounts.

Sorting out any extra loose worksheets, tests etc and keeping them somewhere safe, preferably in the book or in a pocket attached to the book. Encourage children to bring home the whole book if they're allowed, rather than just the one page of homework that they think will be easier to carry, as it doesn't end up getting back to the right place, and then when it's time for a test, all you have are half empty books, and random screwed up bits of paper at the bottom of a bag or shoved in other books, or even notes at the back of other books. They don't always encourage a jotter book any more, but you could provide a small notebook if they don't, for times when they do need a bit of paper to write something down, so that the useful information doesn't then end up scattered at the back of whichever exercise books are handy at the time.

Learning to use the reminders app on a phone can be handy, depending on the school policy on phone use. You can even be really specific and get it to remind you of something once you physically enter the school grounds, for example, as well as at whatever time. You can make it stay on the front screen of the phone until you click 'done', so that it's always there reminding you even if you don't do it straight away. Or get into the habit of resetting the time on it, if you don't do it straight away. Useful for reminding them for anything, like 'tell mum about food tech ingredients when I get home' or 'turn in permission slip for school trip at the office instead of carrying it around all day' or 'remember to go to maths tutor'. The more they get used to using that (or a paper diary and remembering to check it), the more they can put in it.

Notgoodatpoetrybutgreatatlit · 05/08/2022 09:18

As a teacher and former head of year I have two things to add to this collection of excellent advice.
Firstly for the love of the great god Crom, make your your child has written down their user name and log in for the school system and any specialist sites, maths and English are notorious for giving these out .
Secondly be very firm about phones and contact. Every year in September we have anxious and sometimes angry parents on phone or in person reporting that their child has been seriously injured or bullied or both. Said child has texted parent at break etc to report a minor incident that has caused mayhem for the staff and parents.
Trust me if something important happens you will be contacted.
Tell your child to turn phone off. Or better still leave it at home. You would be amazed at the number of phones in lost property.

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