Year 7/8 parents - friendship question

[ManualForTeens]

DD is coming to the end of y7. She's friendly with a few girls and relatively close with 2 or 3 of them. However she never meets up with her friends outside of school. Is this unusual? When did your dc find 'their tribe' at secondary and start spending time outside of school? She is a friendly girl, sometimes lost in her own world but sociable too. Do I need to be worried she hasn't got a firm close knit group of friends yet?

My DS is coming to the end of year 7. He has 1 friend he moved up to comp with and seemingly about 4 or 5 others he has become friends with over the year. They have gone out together a handful of times but the rest of the time they communicate via their phones/x boxes. I dont know if this is because DS trains for his sport 2 or e hours every evening after school so is limited in time to meet up or if this would be the case anyway. I think the main thing to consider is, s she happy?

Dd found her real tribe late in year 9. Had plenty of nice friends before that but not really tight and not very much out of school hanging out although covid is in part to blame. It takes time - lots of chopping and changing in years 7-8 as primary friendships change and kids find their vibe/ interests develop. Friends with older kids say the gcse/ A-level years are when the real life long friendships are cemented.

Sounds exactly like my DD who is the same age. They have occasionally gone to the park together after school but nothing else. I'm hoping this changes.

Year 8 ds2. They meet a lot. They meet to play football a lot, go to the cinema, go to local theme park, girls and boys meet at local paddling pool.

I would encourage her to ask them. I think it makes a huge difference for bonding.

Year 9 was when my ds started socialising. I was very worried about lack of social life in y7 and y8 but then it just clicked x

DS didn't really find a group of friends he properly clicked with until Y8. They hung out after school and at weekends but then covid hit and put it all on hold. Now they tend to default to playing xbox rather than physically going out but that is slowly starting up again. DD is Y7 and still working out her friendship group.

I only ever had 3 friends at secondary school, still friends today but 1 is my best friend. X

Hi, How is your daughter getting on? My son is in the same position. I just really want him to meet his tribe xx

DS didn't find his "tribe" until Year 9 (it was being put in classes for options that made the difference). In Year 7/8 there was a few children he hung about with but they weren't really best mates.

Socialising out of school also becomes more of a thing as they get older. I think a lot of Y7/8s aren't used to organising their own social life as they are used to their mum sorting out play dates still. A lot of the out of school socialising was mainly impromptu trips to the park out of school (the park is right next to the school) or people posting on WhatsApp that they were going to be in x place later and did anyone fancy joining them.

Does your DD ever initiate things? It seems likely that if she does others will jon her, they just aren't keen to sort it themselves.

Conversely, my DD is now in Year 12 and in a main friendship group of 4 (one of whom no longer goes to the school). Two of those other girls she made friends with on the 1st day of Year 7 and they've been together ever since.

So it really varies :)

DD was like this all through Y7. With some prodding, suggestions and a bit more independence she has definitely started meeting up with friends more in Y8. Her friendship group has chopped and changed a bit though, as others have said.

DD yr8
Sometimes they met up loads then phases of nothing. Others have said the same. They all chat all the time on snap tho